#TheEndZone

I think I've been neglecting to write about this, because I just don't know how to put this move of GOD into words. It's almost like one of those "you gotta see it for yourself" things to understand completely. But I'll try my best to get the point across.

My church, Mt.Gilead Full Gospel International Ministries, located in Richmond VA has been heading up an awesome DEBT FREE campaign.

What does this mean?

The goal for our church this year was to pay the remaining balance on our existing building, which was $1.6 million. Several churches hold rallies, sell products, collect offerings, etc. to reach financial goals and/or to make provisions for a new building. However, this is unlike anything I've ever seen! This is an anointed move of God with the simple intention that "if you take care of God's stuff, He will take care of your stuff!"

God doesn't want us to be in debt. Debt is bondage. It can rule your life and force you to become a slave to the rituals and customs of the world. The world convinces us that credit cards are absolutely necessary, while we're paying double the amount of our purchases in interest. The world constantly persuades us to invest more in materials that depreciate in value, as opposed to engaging in the opposite (buying houses, property, stocks, etc.).

 If we must owe anyone anything, it should only be to love them. (Romans 13:8)

My church has done two rallies since the first Sunday in February. There's only one more rally left coming up on this Sunday, April 1. If you have ANY debt that you're trying to cancel in your life, I would check this out. And of course, I understand that not all of our readers live in the Greater Richmond, VA area. But you can still get in on this as well.

There have been so many testimonies coming in, as a result of people sowing (giving) into this cause. Financial favor is everywhere. Bills are getting paid, jobs are being offered, and debt is literally being wiped away. A lot of folks are receiving checks in the mail, stating that they had been "paying too much." It's nothing but GOD just removing it. I can't wait to share my testimony, because I know there will be one. I'm believing for no more car note and for ALL my student loans to be paid off. I'm even believing to already cancel any future debt that may try to enter my life. 

If you only have faith and believe that GOD can do it for you too, HE can! And sowing (giving) in general is your main ticket to getting out of debt. Let's face it. Your 9-5 job can only do so much. You would be working to the death, if you were expecting that job alone to somehow give you an ounce of financial freedom.

So, I'm petitioning you to give to this cause. This is GOD's cause, and He will take care of things near and dear to your heart as well.

 I can't really put into words how EXCITED I am! You gotta be there, I guess. The environment in church feels so light to me now; I feel a heaviness has lifted itself. People are becoming debt free! They're starting to live in the freedom that God designed from the beginning.

Just imagine how your life would be with no bills. No more stress and scrambling for extra change and money. You could live the life you always imagined. Your creativity would soar; you would be a happier person, right? 

Take a chance with this. Sow and believe. Tell God what you're believing Him to pay off. Find a way to get one of those bands pictured above. I think we will be selling them now. People are getting favor, just from being spotted with one of those bad boys!

Check out our site. You can give online, or come by for a visit. We also stream our services online at 9AM and 11:30AM. So tune in if you can! Thanks again for reading.

#TheEndZone = DEBT FREE

Money Problems

I'm SO overdue for this post by the way. Please forgive me.

Hopefully, if you haven't waited until the last minute to file your taxes, you have started receiving any sort of tax refunds that you are eligible for. I received my State ones last week, and I was super amped to see that envelope with my name on it. Finally! I was running on nearly "E" in regards to my available funds.

I had to monitor my spending habits very closely, because of the little bit I had to work with. It was kind of hard, mainly because I like to eat out and have fun. But when there's no money to accommodate those desires, I'm often left feeling like I'm living paycheck to paycheck. No bueno!

So when one of my refund checks came in the mail, there were many choices as to how I could dispose of it. I could go stock up on my spring wardrobe. I could go get that mani/pedi I've been wanting for awhile. I could go to the salon and get that honey blonde color put in my hair. I could finally join ShoeDazzle or JustFab to step my "grown woman" shoe game up. And of course, food! I could just go anywhere and not worry about the cost. Life would be sweeeetttt, living in pure materialistic bliss!

Or would it?

Why not put the extra money down on my car note? Or those wretched Sallie Mae student loans? Or pay my outstanding library fine? Or even start saving money for a change, instead of letting it burn a hole in my pocket?

But that's not how most people think. Debt is a commonplace occurrence in this day and age. This is the "microwave" generation; everything has to be instantaneous. Nobody wants to wait days, months, or even a year or two for something....if they can get it with a swipe of their credit card, just like that.

I'm so thankful that my parents "caught" me in my financial turmoil. I was in over my head in credit card debt last year, so much that I was missing my monthly payments. Somehow a message got on the house phone (my cell was the only number on the account) and my parents got involved in my secret mess. They ended up paying both of my credit cards off! Thank GOD! Stress over financial matters is no joke, and I would definitely still be in a rut...had it not been for my folks.

You may not be as fortunate as I was. You may be living from paycheck to paycheck, have a family to support, a mortgage and a car note, student loans, and dreaded credit card debt to pay. It probably feels like you're just going around in circles, in the dark with no lighted escape.

Like I stated earlier, I'm mad late with this post. But I'd like to make a proposal for you to get involved in an awesome DEBT FREE campaign going on right now in Richmond, VA!

Check out my next post for more info!

Red Flags Part 2

I realized that there are so many RED FLAGS so I figured I'd break them up and write a Part 2 for Christian dating. Hopefully my big bro will finally contribute "Red Flags:The Male Edition" that I've been requesting for WEEKS! (Won't say any names *cough cough* Ty Francis) He'll get to it soon hopefully. We were talking about RED FLAGS this morning before church started and it inspired me to write these tonight.

Here's Part 2!

•  Everyone knows that first impressions are important. Most people put their best foot forward at the beginning especially the "first date." If he's not even at his best on the first date (picking up the check, opening the door, dressing/looking nice) then how will he act when he's comfortable?? RED FLAG

•  If he NEVER takes the initiative when going places and the question is always "What do you wanna do?" RED FLAG Of course he should do something you'd enjoy but if he doesn't know what you like he should ask your friends/fam about possible ideas. Gotta be an initiator and take some decisions off YOUR hands!

• What is his financial status? Not saying he has to be making 6 figures but how does he handle what he does make? If he has zero financial goals AND no financial plan, RED FLAG

• If he exhibits feminine qualities (a little twist in his step, a weak wrist, rolling his eyes, smacking his mouth etc.) Enough said, RED FLAG lol Just run

• If he can't remember what he read and what he learned during his quiet time and it's a consistent occurrence, then why is he even reading the Bible? RED FLAG

• Not all women prefer the same speed of a relationship but if the guy is moving faster than you would like, "Day 1:You're the greatest girl I've ever met. Day 2: I love you. Day 3: You're my wife. etc." RED FLAG

• Does he keep his word? Do not date someone who has an issue keeping commitments! RED FLAG

• Evaluating who a person surrounds themselves with is a good indicator of how they're being influenced. If his friends are promiscuous drug dealers, then that's not a good sign RED FLAG

• How does he act in tempting situations? If you happen to find yourselves alone and temptation arises does he get up and run while yelling behind him that he'll call you tomorrow (Thumbs up!) Or allow his flesh to take over? Chances are if he can't resist temptation (Control his flesh) while you're dating, what would he do if you all are married and he's tempted at work or other places outside of your home by someone who isn't you? RED FLAG

• How do kids react to him? Kids always run up to me and grab my leg like they know me. I love it because I've heard they recognize good people. However, if kids run screaming in the opposite direction then that's a RED FLAG.

• Is he flirtatious? The last thing you need is someone who flirts with every girl they see. A man of God won't disrespect you that way. RED FLAG

•  How does he handle conflict? Nothings worse than a man who has temper tantrums when things don't go his way. If he retreats to childlike behavior instead of mature conversations to find a resolution RED FLAG

• Is he more concerned about what you eat than what he eats?  He orders you a salad while he eats ribs. Not cool. RED FLAG

• Does he keep the relationship alive? (Creative outings, activities, gifts that aren't necessarily expensive but thoughtful) If not, imagine how dull your relationship could be down the road. Gotta be creative, if not RED FLAG

• Is he open to your opinions? (I didn't like that shirt. You need a fresh hair cut.I don't think that's a good idea.) Or does he struggle with a spirit of offense? If you can't be honest with him then you can't have a real relationship RED FLAG

 I'm sleepy lol So that'll have to do tonight but I'll be back!! Guard your hearts ladies!

Everything you could ever need

I was listening to a sermon from my bishop from 2008 (Before I even joined my church) and it was entitled Relationship. That sermon was AMAZING. All of the sermons are amazing but you know what I mean. He was talking about the importance of having a relationship with God because when all others fail, God will always be there.

It kind of brought me back to the way I used to be. I was a very emotionally driven teenager up until like twenty years old. I laugh now at the thought of it but I was a drama queen. I was one of those teenagers that was moody, impatient and all over the place lol But thank God for growth and maturity because I'm no longer moved by emotions.One thing that my bishop said was you have to die to your feelings. In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul said, "I die daily." Dying daily means to die to your fleshly tendencies and desires. Emotions will lead you all over the place.

What I loved most about that sermon was understanding the importance of leaning on God. Bishop was talking about seeking counsel. "I need help. I need advice. I need direction." And no one being able to provide it. I've been there and I can say that that provoked so much growth for me, physically and spiritually. At that moment when family didn't have the answers, friends didn't have the answers, church members, etc., when I thought no one had the answer, God had the answer! And that's exactly where He wanted me, leaning and depending on Him.

People are human so that means they will let you down at some point or another. And if your emotions rule over you, then you will be overwhelmed and easily offended. You ever hear someone say, "I'm offended?" Well offense is a CHOICE. Being angry, upset or resentful are all emotions that can easily peak their heads if others don't rise to expectations or if they say things or do things that let you down. But those very situations are being controlled by God to help you grow up. Not to be mean but you have to suck it up and keep moving. Who told you life was easy? It's not but it's possible.

When you've found yourself running around with what seems like no direction, that is an indicator that God is calling you to Him. I think God has a way of silencing those who you rely on more than Him. People aren't suppose to have all the answers. That's why a solid relationship with God is important. It puts you in a position to seek counsel from the truest Counselor.

I've grown to love and respect my Bishop more and more every time I hear him. He's tough. He gives a Word on a weekly basis that will cut you but force you to change. I've compared him to a drill sergeant lol He's all about business and that's why I'm so grateful to be at my church. He's training us for battle. We can't be weak and emotionally driven if we're going to fight against darkness. God has given him a mighty mighty vision. We're suppose to reach the world right? You have to be strong and courageous but you also have to depend on God more than anyone.

If I became offended every time someone said something I didn't like, didn't come through, didn't rise to expectations, etc., I would be a very emotionally unstable person lol But because of my faith and trust in the One who has promised to always be there and because of those moments when it seemed like no one could come though, I have peace even in those moments that used to offend me.

If I could write down all the times that my emotions tried to get in the way of God's voice and almost caused me to move out of His Will, I would. But it's way too many to name. Emotions can cause you to say things and make decisions that you regret. Be led by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Your flesh will get it wrong every time. 

God is the one who has created each of us. No one can tell us who we are, what's placed inside of us, and the way He desires us to use those things except God. It's so important, especially during the journey of learning who you are, to fully rely on Him. I'll be honest and say that it's incredibly HARD but you'll never grow up by desiring counsel from a person more than counsel from God. That is a difficult lesson but a vital one to learn.

I'm grateful for the journey and where God has me. I feel that the hand of God is truly on my church. I can feel it. There is so much going on and I feel very blessed that God would allow me to be a part of it. I'm filled with much gratitude. And to be honest, I almost missed out on it. But praise God for being led by the spirit and not the flesh. Things don't always make sense but the season of seclusion/solitude is when you grow. When no one seems to come through, it's a blessing in disguise! Those are the moments where God is pulling you closer.

Take possession of your own mind. Your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and flesh all want to dominate you. But faith comes from a relationship with God. When you know that all things will work for your good, (Romans 8:28) you won't be shaken even when people, situations, and misfortunes try to move you. Focus on Jesus! There's nothing like having a real relationship with Him. God is the only one guaranteed to give you all that you will ever need.

HEY LADIES & GENTS!

GREAT NEWS: Chelsea & yours truly will be featured on the Sharvette Mitchell Radio Show tomorrow, (Tuesday, March 20) at 6:40PM!

We will be discussing Project Wifey! We are both extremely excited and appreciative for this opportunity! So if you're free during that time, please check out the show. We love y'all! Thank you for the continuous love and support!

Update!

Hey beautiful people! So as I've stated in previous posts, I'm working on getting back in shape. I will admit, it is not easy and requires ALOT of discipline. I was looking through some old pics and came across some prom pictures.

 

Not the best pic but it'll do. 

 This was my healthier days. It's bittersweet seeing these pics. I was extremely active back in these days. Now I had to accept, I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want. That's the downside of growing up. But it is definitely motivation to keep moving, Honestly I have been slacking. I've lost some weight but if I was truly going hard at it, I would be at my goal size by now. But whatever! lol I'll get there.

I brought this last year and it is NO JOKE. Seriously, it is ridiculous in a good and bad way. This technique has to do with spurts of high intensity cardio followed by 12 seconds of recovery. It's a 20 minute workout, however I'm even more exhausted after 20 mins doing this system then 1 hour working out at the gym.

I do this twice a day. Usually the mornings and then again in the evenings (Taking into consideration obligations I have during the week, I may change the times or only do it once that day.) It's really tough but I feel so much better afterwards. I definitely suggest everyone should workout even if you aren't trying to lose weight. You'll have more energy and you'll be happier, I guarantee it.

I just sent a text message to one of my friends who has a recipe for a cauliflower pizza. It sounds gross lol But he swears it's good so I'm going to give it a try and I'll share the results with you all. I've incorporated egg whites into my breakfast. I've always heard they're good for protein but I never really paid a lot of attention to them but I am now.

I'm also eating more raw veggies. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE raw vegetables. I prefer steamed veggies but uncooked veggies are better for you. And yes I eat them with dip or else I couldn't eat them lol

I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..

Ok that is all!

You Can Be Bitter Or...

You can be bitter about events that play out in your life, or you could use those very things to make you better.

You can choose to have a nasty attitude when things don't go your way, or you could be thankful that you're still a necessary ingredient for this Earth.

You can allow yourself to get worked up over simple things that don't even matter, or just  b r e a t h e and trust that GOD (who knows all things) will work everything out for your good.


You can live in unforgiveness and hold grudges all day long. And you might actually think you're doing something by hardening your heart. But in reality, the other person isn't moved by your reactions to their piercing actions. They have moved on with life, and are sleeping peacefully at night.

I may sound like Tyler Perry when I say, "Forgiveness isn't for the other person; it's for you." But it's all biblical.

"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." Matthew 6:15 (Message)


Don't hold up your own blessings. You most certainly will get hurt in this life; it's just necessary to the flow of things. Everything can't be sunshine, rainbows, and ice cream all day/everyday. You will have low and lonely moments, but these are the defining junctures that set you up for a comeback. In the end, [if you're living right] your good days will outweigh your bad days.


And there's your encouragement of the day!


On the same note....


I was craving some chicken tortilla soup from Chick-fil-A today, despite the summery 70 degree weather. Have you tried it? That stuff is the bomb.com! Anyways, I go in the drive-thru and I get to see a few of my co-workers. Everyone's happy to see me, I get my soup (and I even check the bag), and I drive all the way home. I prepare to eat my soup out on the deck since it's SOO nice outside, only to find out that they gave me the wrong soup...chicken noodle! Really?! I contemplated on whether I should drive back up there or just be satisfied with what I got. And.....I wasn't satisfied, since I really really wanted that tortilla one! Bottom line, I got to get the soup I paid for and keep the other soup. I don't know about you, but I saw it as a blessing in disguise. God knew I would be hungry! Because He knows I'm a hungry and growing girl....yes growing! Haha!

"Yea but he has Potential"

So I looked up the definition of potential. Potential is defined as being capable of being but not yet in existence. Have you ever heard someone say, "Yea I know but he/she has a lot of potential"? This can be used in many different situations but I'm specifically referring to dating/courtship.

I was on Facebook the other day and the youth pastor at my church had a status up about pre-marriage. He gave 10 nuggets and one of them stated, "Don't fall in love with potential because too often potential can lose its motivation to grow into Purpose."



This one really stuck out to me and I started thinking about it. Honestly, being that everyone is created by God, everyone has potential. God has given everyone gifts, purpose, destinies so everyone is capable of being the man/woman that God has created them to be. Of course there are different magnitudes of that fact but just like his statement, potential shouldn't be the basis of any reason to pursue or allow someone to pursue you. "But they have potential." Of course they do!


I know all of you out there are beautiful/handsome people so I can imagine how many people show some form of interest in you BUT let's not forget the importance of being in God's will. I often say that Christian does NOT mean compatible! "You're a Christian? So am I. We're meant to be!" Although none of us are perfect, I don't believe God would send someone who has more potential than they have the motivation to grow into their purpose.


LADIES LADIES LADIES! I'm about to say this because I love yall lol God created a woman to be a helpmate for a man. You can't help a man that can't help himself. If he isn't doing anything, he doesn't need your help. He needs to be pursuing his God-given purpose and get to a place where he needs assistance in order for him to finally arrive at a season where God finally directs him to his "good thing." And vice versa, if a woman can't help herself, how can she be a helpmate for a man? Fellas, if she can't handle her OWN she can't help you with yours.


And that's the whole point of Project Wifey, to step over the line of "potential" into PURPOSE. To not only be capable of becoming who God has called you to be but to be pursuing and walking in it. 


My bishop said something last year that I will never forget. "Just because you are called doesn't mean you'll get there, it means you have the potential to." Everyone has potential but the only ones who reach it are the ones who are MOTIVATED to pursue their destinies. 


Having potential is not enough. How motivated are they? What are they pursuing, if anything? What are their plans for the future? Do they consistently challenge themselves? Are they obedient to God? Do they have the desire to be better? Do they provoke and encourage YOU to be better? 


I love the thought of a man of God who can say "Ok this is what we're going to do!" And a woman of God saying, "We can do this! I have your back!" Ladies, if he isn't going anywhere then he can't take you anywhere. He/she is not going to be perfect but they should at least have the desire to not only get better eventually but BE better daily.

Ladies PLEASE do not settle. The bible says that a man who finds a wife obtains FAVOR. That sounds like it requires some prerequisites to qualify. But you have to also qualify to be a helpmate. Let's not waste any time! This is a perfect season to allow God to mold and train you. God has so many plans for you but faith without works is dead. Handle God's desires and He will handle yours!

#TeamNatural

There's a plethora of information out there on natural hair these days...via blogs, YouTube, and meet-ups/information sessions for those rocking their natural dos. I don't profess to be any sort of expert on the subject, but I thought I'd add my two cents in there somewhere.

I don't remember the exact date I last got a relaxer or when my cousin officially cut my hair. The specifics aren't really that important to me. I transitioned with braids and blowouts from October/November 2010, and I had my cousin cut the remaining relaxed ends in July 2011.

I got my hair straightened this weekend, and I had NO IDEA how long it had gotten. Check out this blog post for some early pics of my natural hair journey.

As of now, the length is just bananas! I'm loving it so much!

Being natural (to me) simply means wearing my hair how it grows out my scalp. It seems silly that the whole topic is suddenly news. This is how we were created. *Not bashing those with relaxed hair* But as you can see above, my hair looks relaxed. It's healthier, and it's about the same length as my former relaxed hair.

I've never felt more confident, hair wise. Someone complimented my hair yesterday, saying that they like the versatility of my hair. And it's true. You can do so much stuff with it... the creativity with hair is endless. Me being a simple newbie, I haven't experimented with too many products or styles. I don't want to be overwhelmed, you know? I've found a couple regimens that work for me right now, and I'm just aiming to perfect those.

I was telling Chelsea that I feel like I'm in a Natural Hair sorority sometimes. Anytime I lock eyes with a fellow naturalista, we share a knowing look. We compliment each other's hairstyles and exchange information on the products we use on our hair. It's pretty sweet!

Sometimes I even find myself giving hair advice to people considering going natural. I have like three minutes to showcase my "expertise." Ha!

The Pros:

• Wake up and go! [Just spray some water, add some oil, and fluff! So easy!]
• What's an umbrella? [Unless you're wearing your hair straight, rain is your friend!]
• Unique curls/styles [Natural hair is so pretty, and there's so many options!]
• Versatility
• More confidence!

Being apart of #TeamNatural seems like a fad/ongoing trend these days. But I predict within the next couple of years, we will be able to distinguish those going natural to follow the crowd from those who truly want to embrace this significant life change.

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday folks!

I hope you all have been having a wonderful day thus far! I just wanted to say THANK YOU for reading the blog! It's greatly appreciated!

Today, guard your heart. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. You can do anything when God is backing you up!

I am filled with so much unexplainable joy right now! When you truly put God ahead of your own demands and desires, He takes care of you and gives you treasures that can't be bought. No amount of money, material thing, or person can fill that void (that we will all experience) like the love of Jesus can!

We will have good days, bad days, blah days, super exciting days....in the midst of it all GOD is good! Be encouraged no matter what situation you find yourself in today. God will never give you more than you can bear!

One more thing before I go....send up a prayer for me please! Seriously need to start this personal writing project but sometimes fear of the unknown and procrastination stop up my flow. I will continue to pray for you guys too! Thanks much!

"If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it."

RED FLAG

Hopefully you guys read "A Chat with Lorenzo." If not, be sure to check that out here!  One of the questions I asked him had to do with red flags. What are some red flags that Christian ladies should look out for when it comes to being pursued by a male with hidden intentions? I wanted to piggy back off of some of the things that Lorenzo said.


I'm going to be pretty transparent for a moment. I recently got a Facebook message from someone that was very inappropriate. I was pretty shocked considering I use my Facebook page as an opportunity to encourage and minister to people. I have God, Jesus and scriptures all up and down my page. So to get a message that was pretty suggestive was surprising but whatever. It happens I guess. But it encouraged me to write about these RED FLAGS.

• Sex is not a nonchalant topic. If a guy is a man of God, he shouldn't be saying anything that would tempt you or suggest sexual motives. "What are you wearing sexy?" "Send me a sexy  picture." "I love your lips and your hips." lol RED FLAG
• If he doesn't mention God or his relationship with Jesus, not cool. I actually was having a conversation with a guy once and I was talking about the Lord, etc and somehow he kept trying to shift the conversation. If you can't talk about God, then you can't talk to me. RED FLAG
• When does he contact you? Ladies, have you ever met a guy who never texts/calls you before 11pm? What kind of conversation are you expecting me to have that late? An inappropriate one obviously. A man of God will contact you at a decent hour. RED FLAG
• Oh I hate this one. "Oh you're waiting until marriage? That's cool. What's the most you've done?" Boy bye! RED FLAG
•  I read the Bible daily. I have quite a few favorite verses. I know I'm not the only one who has come across this guy. "My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. I can't think of any other ones right now". SMH RED FLAG
• How does he treat his mother/sisters. A man who doesn't respect the women in his life will not respect you. If he disrespects and talks against his mother and/or sisters RED FLAG
• If he only wants to hang out at night, alone, in a secluded place like someone's house, RED FLAG. Men of God do not put themselves in tempting situations. All that secluded late night stuff leads to "Can I take a nap? (At midnight) No ladies. Not acceptable!
• Is he plugged in at his ministry? I definitely think it's very important to be involved at their church. Of course it's great to go to service but are they helping to push the vision? If they're not serving God in some way RED FLAG
•  "I don't want to meet your family, friends, and pastor yet." And this goes on for quite some time. What are you hiding? RED FLAG
• Are they consistent church goers? A few years ago I asked this guy once if he goes to church and he said yes he did. He asked me how often do I go and I said every week. His response was "Daaaang you go like that????" My God smh RED FLAG
• Does he make you better? God gave me this a few months ago. "Don't add a person to your life that subtracts from your progress." Nothing more beautiful than two people God brought together who are riding God's wave together. However, the opposite can be tragic. RED FLAG
• Are they at all concerned about your relationship with Jesus? I think the most beautiful thing is a person who will step back and adjust if they realize they are hindering your walk. Are they willing to step aside or do they continue pursuing selfishly with no regard to your relationship with the Lord. RED FLAG
• Do their priorities line up to yours? Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the Kingdom of God. I refuse to follow a man who puts everything above God. You should only trust a man who fully trusts in God. If not RED FLAG
• Does he make the extra effort to open the door? Remember, your daughter will grow up desiring a man like her father and your sons will learn to be a man from their father. Chivalry is IMPORTANT. I love the men at my church. Every time a woman walks down steps or walks towards the door, you better believe a man is on their way to assist them. If a man never makes an effort RED FLAG

I just realized I need to do a RED FLAGS series lol There are so many I can say and I don't think I've even come close to touching on all of them. Proverbs 4:23 says "Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life." If you guard your heart properly and refuse to release it until God gives "the okay," you will pick up on these red flags. Otherwise you risk looking over them due to your emotions.

So keep your heart pure from confusion and truly hide yourself in God. The wrong guys won't stand a chance at getting past our loving Father, because God truly loves His daughters and desires the best for us. But I'm excited about that ONE who will get the approval :-) Ladies remember that you are THE prize!

 To get even more insight on men of God, check out this Reader's Favorite, Click Here Happy reading!

I remember when...

Everyone this is Candice! I'm sure if you read our blog you know her as the silly clumsy one who always finds herself in the craziest situations. Well all that is true lol I know that Candice as well. But I also know the Candice who is the funniest person I know, full of life, pure at heart, and destined for greatness!

One of the things I appreciate about Candice most is that she is incredibly trustworthy. That is an extremely important characteristic in a friend to me. She stays true to her word. She always holds up her end. It's nice to have someone around you who you don't have to worry about whispering behind your back. Or sharing personal things with the people around them. She's one of those people. I can tell her whatever and not worry about hearing it repeated. I never have to say "Keep this between us." She already knows and that's a characteristic you don't come across a lot. Maybe a handfull in a lifetime.

As I said, she has a pure heart. She never aims to hurt or disrespect anyone. She wants the best for people. She's not envious or prideful. She's full of joy and energy. She also believes in me as well as the things God has placed inside of me. We encourage each other. We fuss and get on each others nerves too. It's kind of funny actually.

Her brother thinks we're crazy I think. I'll admit, we are pretty strange. I've always felt weird but it's pretty cool to know someone even weirder haha It's cool to just be able to BE. One day in particular we were at Short Pump shopping center and this swing music came on and we started swing dancing in the middle of the floor. Who else could I do that with?? lol Or recently, we saw a new couple at our church who are dating, walking to their car. We were not expecting it AT ALL and were so happy. I turned on shouting music and we started shouting in my car lol It was quite a funny scene but a typical day for us.

She's the type of friend who never feels obligated to know everything. She doesn't pry into my life but leaves the door open for when I choose to share. I can count on her to pray. Plus I don't doubt that when things are going in my favor that she is sincerely happy for me. She's also consistent. She isn't a different person every day of the week.

One of the best things about her is that she isn't draining. She encourages me in the same ways I encourage her. She vents to me in the same ways I vent to her. She doesn't make more withdrawals than she does deposits. She's not full of drama. She isn't ALWAYS having a bad day or having an issue. She's pretty laid back and doesn't gossip. Just an all around cool person.

I felt led to write this because Candice and I have a funny friendship and I wanted to change it up a bit. We're always fussing and cracking jokes on each other. Figured I'd be civil for the purpose of this blog. :-)

Her parents actually told me that when her mother was pregnant with her brother, Candice wanted him to be a girl so they could name her Chelsea. Funny how things work out lol So yeah. Everyone needs a friend like Candice. There are very few people who have the type of heart that she does. And although we're both on this journey of becoming BETTER, I think she already has a great character to build upon.

Yall better watch out! There's a treasure on the inside of her. I believe God is going to use her for some amazing things. And lastly, the BEST thing about her is that she LOVES God. I'm excited for her future. One day we'll look back and say "Wow I remember when..."

A Chat with Lorenzo

Tell us a little about yourself.

Well I am 24yrs Old.  I did my undergrad at Liberty majoring in Worship &Music Ministry and now working on a Master’s degree in Christian Leadership. I have 8 brothers and sisters and I am the youngest. I love family and I love spending time with good friends and most importantly the Lord. I made the first conscious decision to pursue a calling in ministry at the age 19. It has definitely been a journey. I have had the honor and privilege of traveling with a singing group called the Sounds of Liberty for four years. We have traveled all over singing in different churches and at many conferences and events. I have learned so much from that.

My passions are singing for the glory, I love love love leading worship and seeing people Worship the Living God, that is what He desires for us to worship Him. I must say also that there are not too many things that make me happier than someone coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

What is your definition of wholeness? And do you think wholeness for women is different than for men? If so, in what ways?

My definition of wholeness is to be full and complete, and I believe that comes from Jesus.

It is a man and woman being confident in whom they are as person and understanding the role that they have as a man and woman of God. There may be small differences but I think wholeness, for the majority of things is the same. It is a person knowing how to conduct him/her behavior in any given situation. I think it has a lot to do with character, having integrity in all of your decisions being a person of example, worthy of respect. Again I believe that this person has to have the realization that wholeness can only be obtained in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What are some characteristics that you feel a woman of God should possess?

Woman of prayer, Heart of worship, Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, Kindness, Comforter, Encourager, Motivator, Respectful, Trustworthy, Unselfish, Submissive (context of marriage), And the list goes on…….

Discernment is important. What are some red flags you feel a woman should look out for if being pursued by a man who secretly has ungodly intentions?

1. Conversation

The way a man just talks with you can say a lot. Where does the conversation start, what is the direction, how do you leave feeling, where does your mind go. If it is easy for the conversation to get inappropriate, then it’s a flag. I think that the conversation should be God honoring, and you feel safe. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that EVERY convo will be about God, but if a man that is pursuing you never talks about God in a way that shows he is pursuing God, RED FLAG goes up.

2. Actions

In this man’s pursuit is he showing any signs of him caring about your relationship with Christ. In his pursuit does he point you to Jesus? Look at the way he treats people, mainly when not necessarily in a spotlight situation. Anybody can put up a front but subconsciously the real person comes out. How is integrity in small situations and big situations? Also if he is constantly trying to be alone with you secluded from everyone, especially late. RED FLAG

Proverbs 18:22 tells us that a man FINDS a wife. There are many women who take the first step in pursuing or showing interest in a man. What are your thoughts on that?

I completely agree with Proverbs 18:22. Personally for me if a girl is trying to pursue a man that is a complete turn off.  I think a guy should start the pursuit always, I don’t see a problem with a girl meeting us halfway. Sometimes we guys can be really dumb and unaware so we need hints to know that what we are doing is working and a lot of hints for the really slow guys.

A girl that will flat out ask a guy out on a date with the intentions of wanting to pursue a romantic relationship, I think, is a bit much. Trust us ladies, all you have to do is show interest back and we will do the rest. A real man will step up and do what he needs to do in order to make something happen, if a guy doesn’t step up he doesn’t come close to deserving you. Be patient with us.

In your opinion, how can premature dating or dating outside of God’s will affect a person and their relationship with God?

If you are outside of God’s will then you are missing out on the full blessings that God has for you. I think by dating prematurely you are missing out on the gift of singleness, and growing in the Lord the way you have the potential to.  Dating outside of God’s will, will only lead to misery in the long run even if the relationship starts good. I have experienced that in my own life. There is always a lesson to learn from any relationship though. God can use anything and make it good.

Are there any bible verses in particular that help you remain patient when waiting on the promises of God to be fulfilled?

Matthew 6:33-34 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and know that I am God."

In what ways can a person take full advantage of the gift of singleness until God’s timing to pursue a relationship?

1. Study the Word and spend time with God and figure out who you really are in Christ and as a person. Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy. Learn your love language; figure out how you love and ways that you liked to be loved. Figure out your spiritual gifts and how God wants to use you in ministry. (We are all called). Accomplish goals that you have. Learn to be your own person so that you bring something to a relationship and you are not looking for a man/woman to complete you.

2. Do work for the kingdom. Spend as much time as possible working in a church, witnessing to people about Jesus. Nothing better than doing work for the Kingdom and seeing the fruit of your labor.

Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts. In what ways do you believe a person can guard their heart when developing friendships with people of the opposite sex? Are there any specific steps you take in order to keep that boundary?

This is kind of a tough question to answer for me.

 I would say to keep it in a group setting for majority of the time when developing a friendship. Every once in a while a lunch or dinner would be cool.

Personally, I could be weird in this, but I don’t develop a lot of friendships with the opposite sex. I have acquaintances but I don’t get too close to girls that I am not pursuing and I guess that would be a way that I guard my heart. If I am close to a girl it means I have probably known her for more than a couple of years and/or had to be around her for something. I guess avoidance would be the way I guard my heart.

Any final thoughts/words of encouragement?

Take advantage of being single, learn about yourself, read books, go to conferences etc. and prepare yourself for your mate and ask God to prepare your mate for you. Focus on God’s will for today and get lost in doing His work and he will handle yours.

If you have any specific questions you would like us to ask the fellas, send us an email at projectwifey@gmail.com. Stay tuned for more male features!