Don't be the insecure woman

So I was thinking about my last couple red flag posts and I realized I need to say some things to the women. I'll get back to the men but I want to try and balance it out a little. :-)

One thing I know for sure is that if a person is insecure in a relationship, it WILL NOT work. Especially if it's a Christian relationship. I say that because "the anointing" is attractive. When people flow in their gifts and are being used by God, someone who you typically may not be attracted to can look mighty mighty fine when they are anointed.

I hope all Christian women desire men of God. Missionary dating is no good! For real! But with a Christian man comes a whole bunch of thirsty women. It's an unfortunate truth but the ratio between men and women in the church is extremely off. There are way more women than men and since that's the case, alot of women run at the new single guy in hopes to "find" their husband.

With standards, I'm thinking a woman will desire someone who they are attracted to and someone who loves God above all else. That's enough to catch the attention of most women. So if your man (current or future) possesses these qualities, be prepared for some woman somewhere to be looking, whether they know about you or not. And let's be real, women LOVE leadership. If a man exudes leadership qualities, then you already know! lol

 Women will migrate to a man of leadership. You don't want to be one of those women who nag. "Who was that?? What did she want?? Why was she talking to you??" If he had qualities that attracted you to him, more than likely someone else sees those qualities as well. If no one else wants him, then maybe he isn't that great lmbo Just saying.

I remember when I was a teenager and my boyfriend at that time became a youth pastor. Things changed. He already had women migrating to him but I remember when he did his first sermon. It was a whole different ball game! You would've thought he was a lady magnet. Everybody waiting to talk to him was a woman and usually was pretty young. I had to make up in my mind if I was going to become some jealous insecure person or just trust the God on the inside of him. I made up in my mind at that moment, I would NEVER be that woman who drives herself crazy thinking every woman wants her man. So I let it be. It's important to realize that if a man has respect for you and for God, he will know how to handle a thirsty woman. If he's just as inappropriate as her, then you need to let him go. Who wants to be with a person you can't trust? Please don't settle for that!

So I asked one of my guy friends what he considers as a woman whose insecure in a relationship. (He said that some women are only insecure in a relationship. I thought that was interesting. I'll probably do a post on that soon.) But we had a really good conversation on this. And it inspired this post. Everyone has some areas of insecurities somewhere but these are a little excessive. I guess #redflags for men to watch out for lol

• She knows everything he's done on facebook, twitter, and other social networking sites even if it were months ago. (In other words, FACEBOOK STALKER lol)
• She thinks every woman that talks to him, likes his Facebook photo/status, adds him as a friend, retweets his tweets, or looks in his direction is plotting how to steal him away. (She can only take him if HE lets her fyi)
• If he doesn't reply to her text in under 10 mins she thinks she's being ignored and gets upset. (This one was me a few yrs back hahaha but patience is a virtue and one of the greatest lessons I've learned. Let him be productive. He'll get around to replying. So CHILL!)
• If he doesn't contact her all day, she feels neglected and suspicious. (I look forward to the relationship where we both have our own lives and are productive to the point that we have to catch up because "yesterday" was just too busy to talk lol)
• If he wants a weekend to himself to hang with friends, by himself, family or whatever else and she's offended. (You're not the only person in his life. And you're not even married.)
• She revolves her entire day around him. In other words, she wants to see him and talk to him all day if possible even if that means putting off other things that are important. For example, using her quiet time to talk with him instead. No bueno. (Nothing is cute about a clingy woman unless he's an insecure man. For real. My mom always said, insecure men LOVE clingy women. Makes sense.)
• She's jealous of all his female friends. If she had it her way, the only women in his life would be her and his momma. (Friends probably know him better than you. If they're truly important to him and they understand how much he cares for you, you need to get to know them. They know things about him, his likes, dislikes, personality, etc that can probably be beneficial for you to know.)
• She nags and is supicious of every female he talks to. If out in public at a social event, she observes his every move and can't enjoy herself because she's too distracted by his whereabouts. (Just because you're together doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip wherever you go. Meet some folks and relax.)

I'm done for now. But all this is in the context of a Christian relationship with a man who fears God and is filled with the holy spirit. Otherwise, there's no guarantee that he's trustworthy at all. If you don't trust the God on the inside of him to begin with then he shouldn't even be in the running. The only man I can trust is one who understands he has to answer to God for every action he makes even when no one else is looking. Otherwise, there's a chance that his heart won't feel any conviction with ungodly actions and even ungodly thoughts Something to consider peeps. Ask God to show you  insecurities that could possibly hinder a relationship and/or your destiny and He will. 'Til next time! :-)