Are you mature enough?

This is a short snippet by ProphetessTera Carissa. She's AMAZING. I'm in her mentorship program and she always has a Word for me whether directly or indirectly. She definitely is passionate about the Word and she'll start preaching like this any given moment whether on a podium or on the phone. She just says it like it is

I've always hated the saying "train your man." That implies that he's an animal. The truth of the matter is, God is not going to send you someone who needs to be "trained." Are you mature enough to identify your spouse?

Turn by turn

What up peeps?!

I pray you all are doing well. If you read my post on obedience, you know that God placed it on my heart to go out of town for whatever reason. I didn't plan anything. I just played it by ear. I stayed with my cousin who happens to live 5 mins from everything.  I got invited to an event at a church that was in that area so I decided to go by myself. I didn't know anyone really. I had never been there and that was WAY out of my comfort zone. But I remember thinking "Why not?" And I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I did.

Last night after leaving the "Ladies only" night, I cried all the way back to my cousin's house lol The message reminded me of God's desire for ME. I have to go more in depth on it later but the things I heard this week all lined up to the things I had been praying to God about. I would've definitely regretted staying in Va.

I met some really cool people. A couple of people agreed to let me feature them on the blog. I'm excited about that because I know they will have a lot to say especially based off of all that was poured into me this week. I took a great deal of notes and will be sharing them with you very soon.

I said in my previous post that maybe this trip will lead me to find more of God, more of myself, or both. I definitely found more of both. One thing that was confirmed to me is that FEAR will keep you in your comfortable place, physically and spiritually. There's a misconception or what I like to call a straight up lie, that danger lurks in places you aren't familiar with. God will not take you anywhere that His grace won't protect you.

Honestly I got lost every single day. But thank God I had a GPS. Going to a place I knew nothing about made me fully rely on my GPS. I gave all my attention to the directions coming out of that speaker. I still got lost at times but even then, my GPS said "recalculating." And before I knew it I was back on track.

While heading back to my cousin's house one night, I received confirmation and reassurance. I felt the holy spirit say, "I'm your GPS. You will go on paths you know nothing about. I will take you to places you aren't familiar with. But if you fully rely on me, I will get you to your destination. Even if you take a wrong turn, I will recalculate your journey and get you right back on track."

When you already know you're own way, you will never fully rely on your GPS (God). You have to go places you've never gone or do things you've never done to understand how God will give us turn by turn instructions and lead us to our destinations.

Man, I'm so happy I went.  So glad fear of being in an unfamiliar area with unfamiliar people didn't keep me from going.  I hope you guys keep that in mind the next time God places it on your heart to do something you're not fully comfortable with doing. Don't let fear tell you to "Stay put." FEAR will say that the unfamiliar equals danger. But I know from experience that the unfamiliar equals growth and maturity. #Nofear

Praise God for my GPS! I'm soooooo glad I went! I've learned a lot this week about my strengths AND my weaknesses.  I told my roommate I was feeling led to take a little vaca and she was like "Do it!" Either she was trying to get me out of the house lol or she knew it was a good idea. I'll go with the latter. Stay tuned for details! :-)

And in case you didn't know, I'm sooooooo happy I went! lol Until next time..

Everything you could ever need

I was listening to a sermon from my bishop from 2008 (Before I even joined my church) and it was entitled Relationship. That sermon was AMAZING. All of the sermons are amazing but you know what I mean. He was talking about the importance of having a relationship with God because when all others fail, God will always be there.

It kind of brought me back to the way I used to be. I was a very emotionally driven teenager up until like twenty years old. I laugh now at the thought of it but I was a drama queen. I was one of those teenagers that was moody, impatient and all over the place lol But thank God for growth and maturity because I'm no longer moved by emotions.One thing that my bishop said was you have to die to your feelings. In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul said, "I die daily." Dying daily means to die to your fleshly tendencies and desires. Emotions will lead you all over the place.

What I loved most about that sermon was understanding the importance of leaning on God. Bishop was talking about seeking counsel. "I need help. I need advice. I need direction." And no one being able to provide it. I've been there and I can say that that provoked so much growth for me, physically and spiritually. At that moment when family didn't have the answers, friends didn't have the answers, church members, etc., when I thought no one had the answer, God had the answer! And that's exactly where He wanted me, leaning and depending on Him.

People are human so that means they will let you down at some point or another. And if your emotions rule over you, then you will be overwhelmed and easily offended. You ever hear someone say, "I'm offended?" Well offense is a CHOICE. Being angry, upset or resentful are all emotions that can easily peak their heads if others don't rise to expectations or if they say things or do things that let you down. But those very situations are being controlled by God to help you grow up. Not to be mean but you have to suck it up and keep moving. Who told you life was easy? It's not but it's possible.

When you've found yourself running around with what seems like no direction, that is an indicator that God is calling you to Him. I think God has a way of silencing those who you rely on more than Him. People aren't suppose to have all the answers. That's why a solid relationship with God is important. It puts you in a position to seek counsel from the truest Counselor.

I've grown to love and respect my Bishop more and more every time I hear him. He's tough. He gives a Word on a weekly basis that will cut you but force you to change. I've compared him to a drill sergeant lol He's all about business and that's why I'm so grateful to be at my church. He's training us for battle. We can't be weak and emotionally driven if we're going to fight against darkness. God has given him a mighty mighty vision. We're suppose to reach the world right? You have to be strong and courageous but you also have to depend on God more than anyone.

If I became offended every time someone said something I didn't like, didn't come through, didn't rise to expectations, etc., I would be a very emotionally unstable person lol But because of my faith and trust in the One who has promised to always be there and because of those moments when it seemed like no one could come though, I have peace even in those moments that used to offend me.

If I could write down all the times that my emotions tried to get in the way of God's voice and almost caused me to move out of His Will, I would. But it's way too many to name. Emotions can cause you to say things and make decisions that you regret. Be led by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Your flesh will get it wrong every time. 

God is the one who has created each of us. No one can tell us who we are, what's placed inside of us, and the way He desires us to use those things except God. It's so important, especially during the journey of learning who you are, to fully rely on Him. I'll be honest and say that it's incredibly HARD but you'll never grow up by desiring counsel from a person more than counsel from God. That is a difficult lesson but a vital one to learn.

I'm grateful for the journey and where God has me. I feel that the hand of God is truly on my church. I can feel it. There is so much going on and I feel very blessed that God would allow me to be a part of it. I'm filled with much gratitude. And to be honest, I almost missed out on it. But praise God for being led by the spirit and not the flesh. Things don't always make sense but the season of seclusion/solitude is when you grow. When no one seems to come through, it's a blessing in disguise! Those are the moments where God is pulling you closer.

Take possession of your own mind. Your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and flesh all want to dominate you. But faith comes from a relationship with God. When you know that all things will work for your good, (Romans 8:28) you won't be shaken even when people, situations, and misfortunes try to move you. Focus on Jesus! There's nothing like having a real relationship with Him. God is the only one guaranteed to give you all that you will ever need.

You can do better!

So I'm going to talk about something that can be a HUGE factor in holding you back from maturity and the capability of handling necessary responsibilities. It's one word and can be one of the most difficult things to learn.

Discipline is that one thing that makes you get up on time. When you take outfits out of your closet to try and figure out what you're going to wear, discipline makes you put back the things you don't need. When you have somewhere to be by 7 pm and it's 30 minutes away, discipline causes you to leave at 6:20 to give you extra time just in case you are delayed. Discipline keeps you from eating those sweets you want so badly and pushes you to the gym when you just want to chill. So basically,

DISCIPLINE SUCKS!!!! :-/ lol

However, discipline is very necessary. Being on time can be the difference between having a job and being fired. Going to the gym and eating well can be the difference between being healthy and being sick from disease. A lack of discipline pretty much causes a bunch of chaos. Even when it comes to paying bills, if you procrastinate and decide you just don't feel like paying it before the due date, it can be the difference between lights and no lights, excellent credit score and horrible credit score.

"Be the person you want to find. Don't be nickel looking for a dime."

Ladies, let's say you marry a man that doesn't "feel" like getting up for work in the morning. He doesn't feel like meeting you at 7 when you agreed to meet at 7. Let's say he lets himself "Go" and gains 100 lbs and doesn't feel like going to the gym or stepping away from the table. That's not a good thing right? But what that is is a lack of discipline. And a person without that quality, having the ability to do things they don't want to do when they don't want to do it, is easily held back from gaining the responsibility of receiving more.

If you can't handle an apartment, how will you ever handle a home? If you can't keep yourself out of the department store when you're on a budget, how will you ever handle more income? If you can't put your own things back, how will you ever clean up after your family? Just some things to think about. I'm working on discipline myself. But one thing I know is that discipline can be the difference between staying where you are and receiving all that God has for you. But the good thing about it is that you can learn. It takes time and patience but it's very possible.

I'll make a suggestion for this week. Make a list of all the things you need to get done, cleaning, homework, grocery shopping, bills, meetings, exercise, and include the times you need to have it done. Work hard to do it according to your schedule and try HARD to be on time with the assignments.Your success or lack thereof will show you how much more work you need to do to be disciplined.

Responsible adults realize that in order to get the results they want, they have to be DISCIPLINED! Many of us want to be married and have a family one day but how selfish is it to add people to your life and you only do what you WANT to do and not what needs to be done. No bueno. Don't add people to your chaos! You can't handle greater responsibilities until you handle your current situation FIRST. Get things done on time, be well organized, stay true to your word, stop procrastinating, read the Bible and pray DAILY (no more excuses) and do it all with a SMILE! :-)

So I hope you give that assignment a try and I hope it's a success. But not just for a week but a lifetime. Maturity and growth REQUIRES discipline.

"No steam or gas drives anything until it is confined. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined."Harry Emerson Fosdick D.D

Maturity Sneaks Up On Ya!

It's so great when you can actually SEE and FEEL yourself growing from the inside out.  Immature activities you once used to take part in seem so petty and childish now. You wonder why you were that way in the first place, but that phase was needed so that you could grow into the YOU displayed now.

This afternoon, I had the opportunity to go to the Wood Grill in Charlottesville, VA to celebrate my grandparents' bdays. All of my mom's siblings and spouses were there, as well as my dad's sister and one of my cousins. The food was buffet-style (not really my preference), but I think it was a notch above Golden Corral.

There was SO much food available; I couldn't even visit all of the stations. This was one area I recognized growth. As I said a couple postings ago, I love food. I love to eat. I don't think I'm a gluttonous person; I just like to eat food until I'm full. :) But after my first plate today, I was about ready to call it quits. Maybe get a dessert later or something. When I was younger, I didn't care how stuffed I was! This was a BUFFET, and that meant I had to eat until I literally couldn't eat anymore. I made it a point to visit EVERY food station and go up numerous times for seconds, thirds, fourths, a salad, and something sweet. But, not today! Just about 1 1/2 plates of food (including lots of seasoned veggies) and some cheesecake topped with ice cream and sprinkles. YUM! I wasn't miserable from overdoing it like I would be in the past. Thank God for maturity! It might sound silly, but some people have major problems with gluttony. A buffet or the Thanksgiving table is not the place to be if you do...jussayin! :)

Then, it was the conversation at the table. My grandma will probably never read this, but she's a GOSSIP QUEEN! lol...so a little of that was going on. Not much, but I knew the topic of my younger cousin was gonna come up sooner or later.

I have this cousin. I guess she's slowly dug herself into a hole of being labeled the "black sheep" of the family. She's a year younger than me with 1-year-old twin boys, living off the government with her boyfriend. Neither one of them have jobs. Sad situation. I remember when she had big dreams of going out of state to be a dance choreographer. She loved to dance. Now, who knows...?

Basically, at every family function, my uncle (her dad) or my grandma dish out the latest dirt on her. My other cousins and myself are then praised that we don't have kids yet, that at least we're doing something with our lives, that we're just better off than her. I think when I found out she was pregnant, I was eager to get in on the latest gossip. But now, all I wanna do is pray for her.

[REwind] Pray for her? Huh? Me? But laughing about someone else's situation makes me feel better about my own situation. I get a high knowing that their bad news is my comedic relief and entertainment.

Not anymore. Maturity kicks in once again. I had to say a silent prayer in my head, as I listened to my uncle call her stupid and vow not to give her anymore money. It was just sad to hear family talk down about her and joke about everything. She's still a daughter, niece, granddaughter, cousin, mother--family! If family doesn't build you up and encourage you, who will?? Of course, she's made mistakes. Who hasn't? Maybe I have a problem  or something...I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe someone can change.

I mean, "One day in His courts did forever change my course."

SIDENOTE#1: These stories were not to demean people with gluttony issues or my cousin. Just for the purpose of sharing the findings of my day and realizing that I'm maturing! :)

SIDENOTE#2: I cleaned my entire bathroom Saturday!! Shout it from the rooftops and proclaim that Candice isn't a slob anymore! Hahaha...I still have other areas to work on, but cleaning all the nooks and crannies (minus the clutter in the drawers) helped me breathe easier and I felt accomplished. Just thought you'd like to know that I'm maturing and getting my housewife status on! Sikeeee! =D


 

What's your type?

So I've always been the kind of person who thought I knew my type. Ever since I can remember my type of guy was over six feet tall, not skinny (I've always liked healthy teddy bears lol), very bold and brave, nice smile, manly hands, deep voice, educated, handy man, etc etc etc. Now I do believe every person has preferences as far as looks go. And I'm not bashing that. But as I began to grow and mature more, I started to reevaluate my so-called "type."

I have a true passion in my heart to prevent women and men from settling. It's something I've talked about often because I truly want everyone. especially women, to understand their worth and the way God sees them.

As I began to think about mistakes I've made in and out of relationships, I started to understand what a "type" really is. I haven't been in alot of relationships. I can count them on one or two fingers actually lol But I've learned a great deal about what it means to really have standards. Being attracted to your significant other is pretty important in my book but it shouldn't cancel out their spiritual walk or relationship with God.

I've committed to living a pure lifestyle and yes that includes no sex until marriage. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint but because I now know and have received the revelation of the truth I refuse to compromise. My "type" of guy must have also made that commitment. (And for those females who think the way I use to think, "No man is going to really wait" I guarantee you it is possible.) He will have already made that commitment LONG before me. And it will be his commitment to God. He won't abstain from sex just because I'VE made the commitment but he's done so because he wants to live a pure life pleasing to God, not just pleasing to me and my terms. If he's not pure while single, it'll be a bigger fight in a relationship.

So now that the purity thing is out the way. There are four things that are important to me as far a "types' go.

1. A man of God is known by the things that he flees from.
So that includes things like greed, idolatry, sexual sin, etc. Purity in body, mind, and spirit.
2. A man of God is known by what and who he follows.
Whatever he follows, he will become. Does he follow righteousness, godliness and wisdom?
Does he follow the path of faith and love? What about patience, kindness, and gentleness?
3. A man of God is known by the things that he fights for.
Is he ashamed to stand up for what he believes in? Or does he walk in boldness and serves
as a spokesman for God. “Fight” is going to include concentration, discipline, conviction and
effort. (1 Corinthians 10:4-5)
4. A man of God is known by what and who he is faithful to.
This would include guarding his heart as well as guarding the Truth. And of course being
faithful to God and Jesus Christ by following the commandments of God by obedience and
the Word.

If you're reading this and think "this is too much to expect" than what do you think of yourself? I believe this is exactly the type of man that a woman of God deserves. But it is important to be equally yoked. Don't be expecting this man and your stuff isn't together yet. I plan on being able to offer the same in return. I'm not expecting anyone to be perfect however but just as Candice's last blog talked about trying to change someone, it's not worth it. He has to desire to want these characteristics for himself just like all of us do. I pray for him everyday and that he's changing HIMSELF with God's assistance. So that when it is the right time for us to be together once and for all (after much effort and work with getting myself together. Whew!) I won't have to work twice as hard to try and fix him up too. (No bueno)

We are all a work in progress. But you'll never strive to be better until you understand what God expects you to become. So a six foot healthy teddy bear is wonderful :-) But my "type" is a true man of God! The type of man that can war in the Spirit, pray over our children and take charge. The kind of man who can lead his family to growth and prosperity and help raise sons who become men of God and daughters who desire men of God. It's not too much to ask. That's what God's daughters deserve! Get those standards up!

So that's my type lol what's yours?

Graduations Make Me Smile

Time sure does fly when you're having fun, wouldn't you say? My brother and cousin both graduated from high school this week, and it seems so surreal. I feel like I just graduated! I'm sure however old you are right now, there's something in your life that you did years ago, but it seems like yesterday. It's crazy!

Aren't we cute?

I actually enjoy going to graduations. Yes, some parts are boring. But at some point through the ordeal, I get inspired to go to the next level in my own life. I still have most of my graduation cards from when I graduated in 2007. The money's all spent, but I like reading the motivational words from time to time. Need a pick me up? Head to Hallmark and browse the graduation section...lol..seriously though.

I guess it really hasn't hit me that my baby bro is about to leave the nest (probably for good), but this just reminds me that life goes on. Everyone has to let go of the hand that feeds them one day or another, and if you're over 25 years old, your grip should be loosening. You can't be a baby forever. The road can be scary, but it's just a new chapter in your life.

I think my aunt said this at my cousin's cookout: "Don't be so quick to be a grown up, because it's not as fun as it seems."

I don't necessarily agree with her. Of course, I think the image of independence and freedom is glamorized more than the actual work behind the scenes. However, I plan on having fun 'til I die (while paying my big girl bills and tending to my other responsibilities). I mean, you only get one life. Why not make it fun, ya know?

Then my grandma said that, "These [college years] are about to be the best years of your life."

Umm...I don't really agree with that too. All MY days are about to be the best they can be. There is no day, month, or year promised to us. Enjoy it ALL while you can.

Yea, so I'm glad I was able to attend both graduations/family gatherings. It got me to thinking about ALOT. From mistakes I've made in my past, to forgotten dreams, stupid boys, summer plans, lack of never living a "wild" life, and even a strong strong STRONG desire to be in an interracial relationship. lol...I'm still alert, so I think I'll write more.