Yea so it's been awhile since I've posted anything...sorry guys!
Have you ever felt like you were going to lose your mind? Like seriously. I was sort of feeling like that pretty much all this week. I can't even explain it all; I just thought I was gonna go crazy and I was tempted to do something real stupid. For some reason, I felt lonely. I would wake up everyday feeling empty. I didn't understand why though. I've felt those feelings before, and they didn't last forever. They would usually come around when I was putting any and everything above God, but I've felt that I've been giving Him an adequate amount of my time lately so I was lost as to WHY I was feeling like this.
After talking to a couple people, I've come to the conclusion that I was and still am BEING BROKEN. I didn't know what "being broken" meant until after I decided to be serious for the Lord a couple years ago. Things are always going peachy until randomly out the blue, I got hit. It's normal to be lonely, because it's likely that it means God is desiring to spend more time with you. (*Thanks Chels*) Ain't it funny that we just came from an awesome conference in Louisiana and the next week, I begin to randomly feel like crap? Yea, it's just the devil.
On this journey to wholeness, I'm steadily learning that there's always going to be obstacles and things that the enemy will throw in my direction to get me off track. That goes for you too. Man, he was really trying to bother me this week y'all. If you know anything about me, you would know that I was never a wild child. I never got sucked into the whole partying/clubbing scene. But for some reason, I started to envy people that were doing that. I was kinda wishing I could "go out" this weekend and do something. People in the world always seem like they're just having the best time ever, and I so wanted to live on the wild side for once. I envied them so much. So I was kinda wishing I had been more worldly in my pre-Christ days lol...smh
Then, I started getting emotional and feeling weird whenever I thought about August approaching. My brother's about to leave and go off to college. Boo hoo! :'( lol...I knew he was gonna leave eventually, but it just seems so real now. I hope he remembers me, himself, and of course the Lord! lol :)
Then I started thinking about my purpose and destiny, and that led to the usual frustration. Then I thought about all the job applications and interviews I've been on recently, and how there's no new job to show for it. The devil was trying to talk me down, make me feel worthless, and discourage me from continuing to press forward in life.
This whole situation just shows me how I'm still not ready to be found; there is still much preparation to be done. True wholeness is still awaiting to be experienced. There is so much to be seen, heard, and done. If there is no one around to encourage you during hard times, sometimes you just gotta get some strength and encourage yourself.
You can't be a wife until you get your own life!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Life & death: Check your voicemail!
So our last post was 10 days ago. Alot has been going on. Candice and I got the opportunity to go to Campmeeting 2011 for a week in Darrow, Louisiana at Dr. Leroy Thompson Sr.'s ministry. Dr. Thompson is our spiritual father's father. So in other words, he's our spiritual grandpa lol And when I say he's full of wisdom, he is truly full of wisdom.
The holy spirit showed up each and everyday but there was one day in particular that was different. I can't describe the feeling but I remember in my mind thinking, "No one in here can doubt that God is real." I always refer to moments like that as being "thick." His presence was thick and it couldn't have been escaped. I believe it was so strong that even those whose hearts had been closed for however many years, etc., were opened on that day. People were being set free from bondages of all kinds just by being present. I was in awe!
My bishop spoke on Wednesday. And I will say that it definitely gave me a greater respect for him. When you receive such an amazing message week after week, it's important not to become familiar with the gift. And to see how people were responding to him, reminded me of how much of a blessing he really is. Bishop said something that really spoke to me. He said, "Just because you're called doesn't mean you'll get there. But it means to have the potential to get there." That stuck with me. Everybody is called for something but the only ones who see the manifestation are the ones who do it the right way.
Whether you're called to pastor, sing, evangelize, minister in other countries, etc., that doesn't guarantee that you'll get there. If someone calls you for a job interview and the caller always goes to voicemail and you never pick up, eventually you're going to end up getting replaced because the job must get done. It's wonderful to be called but it's important to answer. How many of you have sent God to voicemail or put Him on hold when He has a job waiting for you. Check your voicemail! He's calling YOU for a reason.
Seeds of drive were implanted in me last week. I realized that I control how far I go. Although I already knew that, while I was looking at Dr. Thompson I realized that he was walking in his calling. And suppose he decided not to answer, I wouldn't be able to write about the wisdom and encouragement that I've received from him. Fast forward, 40 years from now. I want someone to be writing about me. And the only way I can become who I'm called to be is to answer God and get Him off HOLD.
The holy spirit showed up each and everyday but there was one day in particular that was different. I can't describe the feeling but I remember in my mind thinking, "No one in here can doubt that God is real." I always refer to moments like that as being "thick." His presence was thick and it couldn't have been escaped. I believe it was so strong that even those whose hearts had been closed for however many years, etc., were opened on that day. People were being set free from bondages of all kinds just by being present. I was in awe!
My bishop spoke on Wednesday. And I will say that it definitely gave me a greater respect for him. When you receive such an amazing message week after week, it's important not to become familiar with the gift. And to see how people were responding to him, reminded me of how much of a blessing he really is. Bishop said something that really spoke to me. He said, "Just because you're called doesn't mean you'll get there. But it means to have the potential to get there." That stuck with me. Everybody is called for something but the only ones who see the manifestation are the ones who do it the right way.
Whether you're called to pastor, sing, evangelize, minister in other countries, etc., that doesn't guarantee that you'll get there. If someone calls you for a job interview and the caller always goes to voicemail and you never pick up, eventually you're going to end up getting replaced because the job must get done. It's wonderful to be called but it's important to answer. How many of you have sent God to voicemail or put Him on hold when He has a job waiting for you. Check your voicemail! He's calling YOU for a reason.
Seeds of drive were implanted in me last week. I realized that I control how far I go. Although I already knew that, while I was looking at Dr. Thompson I realized that he was walking in his calling. And suppose he decided not to answer, I wouldn't be able to write about the wisdom and encouragement that I've received from him. Fast forward, 40 years from now. I want someone to be writing about me. And the only way I can become who I'm called to be is to answer God and get Him off HOLD.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Um..I will not entertain it!
Where do I begin? I must say that I truly believe I'm in a vital season of my life. I have very mixed feelings at the moment. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm feeling this way after my bishop spoke about FAITH.
By mixed emotions, I'm referring to the push and pull I feel of having dreams to accomplish and visions God has shown me but wondering how I can get from here to there. Naturally when someone gives us directions, many of us want to know that next few steps after. I've noticed in my life, God hasn't done that. He'll only tell me one thing to do at a time. Once I've done it, He proceeds to the next step. Many times it doesn't make sense. But that's faith, knowing that He'll direct me wherever I'm suppose to go. I guess I have quite a few moments where I have to knock that self-doubt thought out of my mind. It SEEMS impossible at times but God works best with impossible situations.
I have no other desire than to be who God created me to be. But I was in a little FUNK earlier. Of course I know the journey will be worth it in the end but I guess there's a certain pressure that you feel to meet the requirements. All that we go through helps to create us into who we are meant to be. God knows the results of things that break us or hurt us and it must be done to get to where He needs us.
So I guess it's fair to say I woke up feeling discouraged. I dwelled in it for a few moments but then God reminded me that I'm going to campmeeting in Louisiana next week. So I was quickly convinced that I should be expecting great things! That's when the enemy comes at you right? When something good is on the way! So the discouragement turned into great expectation. It's not always easy being me. But one thing I know is that as long as I stay focused on what's important I won't be consumed by negativity.
I have in my mind a portion of where God wants me and at times it feels overwhelming because it seems too far fetched. But who am I to tell God what I'm capable of lol Who I really am is beyond where I am and I must enjoy the process of getting there. I do most days but sometimes I want to skip the lesson and just BECOME but it doesn't work like that.
I won't entertain discouraging feelings. Now I am definitely EXPECTING. I'll probably keep a journal of what I learn and different revelations while I'm at campmeeting. I'm even hungrier than I was before so it's all good! The only one who has a shot at becoming ME, is ME. Step 237840374 on the road to wholeness! lol
By mixed emotions, I'm referring to the push and pull I feel of having dreams to accomplish and visions God has shown me but wondering how I can get from here to there. Naturally when someone gives us directions, many of us want to know that next few steps after. I've noticed in my life, God hasn't done that. He'll only tell me one thing to do at a time. Once I've done it, He proceeds to the next step. Many times it doesn't make sense. But that's faith, knowing that He'll direct me wherever I'm suppose to go. I guess I have quite a few moments where I have to knock that self-doubt thought out of my mind. It SEEMS impossible at times but God works best with impossible situations.
I have no other desire than to be who God created me to be. But I was in a little FUNK earlier. Of course I know the journey will be worth it in the end but I guess there's a certain pressure that you feel to meet the requirements. All that we go through helps to create us into who we are meant to be. God knows the results of things that break us or hurt us and it must be done to get to where He needs us.
So I guess it's fair to say I woke up feeling discouraged. I dwelled in it for a few moments but then God reminded me that I'm going to campmeeting in Louisiana next week. So I was quickly convinced that I should be expecting great things! That's when the enemy comes at you right? When something good is on the way! So the discouragement turned into great expectation. It's not always easy being me. But one thing I know is that as long as I stay focused on what's important I won't be consumed by negativity.
I have in my mind a portion of where God wants me and at times it feels overwhelming because it seems too far fetched. But who am I to tell God what I'm capable of lol Who I really am is beyond where I am and I must enjoy the process of getting there. I do most days but sometimes I want to skip the lesson and just BECOME but it doesn't work like that.
I won't entertain discouraging feelings. Now I am definitely EXPECTING. I'll probably keep a journal of what I learn and different revelations while I'm at campmeeting. I'm even hungrier than I was before so it's all good! The only one who has a shot at becoming ME, is ME. Step 237840374 on the road to wholeness! lol
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Revamp! Revamp! Revamp!
Wherever you are in the world, I just wanna say THANK YOU for reading the Project Wifey blog!!! What do you think of it?? Comment below. I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to read our previous postings from a few months ago. I'm sure you can relate to this journey--whether you are male or female, young or old.
We are about to revamp this blog within the next couple of months, turning it into an actual website. It's just too "Plain Jane" for my taste. I know you're thinking the same lol...Chelsea and I are in the works of finding a website designer, planning the next steps to this blog, and continuing to live our single lives while getting closer to "wifey" status. This is not a journey to find a man and keep him, but it's rather a journey to become ALL that we are meant to be regardless of a man standing by our side.
Stay tuned to...
- Video clips on recipes we'll be cooking up (from the basics on up to the fancy shmancy stuff when we can decorate a dish with parsley and/or fruit lol)
- A weekly "What We're Reading" segment on books that we're entertaining our lives with. REMEMBER==> READERS ARE LEADERS.
- Organizing and cleaning all our spaces (room, closet, bathroom, car)
- A spot where YOU can share what you're doing on the regular to obtain your "wifey" status aka WHOLENESS...this includes the fellas too! (We all need to be whole!!)
- How To's on pretty much anything (changing a tire, checking/changing oil, cleaning an oven, swimming [that's for me, can't swim :-/ ], fishing, managing natural hair, homeownership, planting a garden, etc.
- Segments on our health and weight loss journeys (for those who need it) but we ALL need to get on a more healthier track for life
- Traveling adventures! Having fun! Exploring new and exotic places! Giving back to the community and the world! Encouraging YOU to walk in your divine purpose and know YOURSELF before you try to explain who you think you are to a potential mate or even a new friendship.
- .....AND MORE!!!
YAY! I'm getting excited just writing about what is to come! Prayerfully, the revamping will take place THIS SUMMER. I'm learning to be a person that's not just a "big talker," but a doer. I want to walk the talk out, and go forth in the direction of my dreams!! Don't you? You should!! There's a whole world to see and so many things that you're supposed to have done before you see the man upstairs!! Let's goooooo!
SN: If you're interested in contributing in any sort of way to this project, please hit us up!! Looking for website designers, graphic designers, T-shirt designers, people that know more than us lol...let's help each other out!~~> "There's room for everyone in the Kingdom."
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