Update!

Hey beautiful people! So as I've stated in previous posts, I'm working on getting back in shape. I will admit, it is not easy and requires ALOT of discipline. I was looking through some old pics and came across some prom pictures.

 

Not the best pic but it'll do. 

 This was my healthier days. It's bittersweet seeing these pics. I was extremely active back in these days. Now I had to accept, I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want. That's the downside of growing up. But it is definitely motivation to keep moving, Honestly I have been slacking. I've lost some weight but if I was truly going hard at it, I would be at my goal size by now. But whatever! lol I'll get there.

I brought this last year and it is NO JOKE. Seriously, it is ridiculous in a good and bad way. This technique has to do with spurts of high intensity cardio followed by 12 seconds of recovery. It's a 20 minute workout, however I'm even more exhausted after 20 mins doing this system then 1 hour working out at the gym.

I do this twice a day. Usually the mornings and then again in the evenings (Taking into consideration obligations I have during the week, I may change the times or only do it once that day.) It's really tough but I feel so much better afterwards. I definitely suggest everyone should workout even if you aren't trying to lose weight. You'll have more energy and you'll be happier, I guarantee it.

I just sent a text message to one of my friends who has a recipe for a cauliflower pizza. It sounds gross lol But he swears it's good so I'm going to give it a try and I'll share the results with you all. I've incorporated egg whites into my breakfast. I've always heard they're good for protein but I never really paid a lot of attention to them but I am now.

I'm also eating more raw veggies. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE raw vegetables. I prefer steamed veggies but uncooked veggies are better for you. And yes I eat them with dip or else I couldn't eat them lol

I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..I WILL be consistent..

Ok that is all!

You Can Be Bitter Or...

You can be bitter about events that play out in your life, or you could use those very things to make you better.

You can choose to have a nasty attitude when things don't go your way, or you could be thankful that you're still a necessary ingredient for this Earth.

You can allow yourself to get worked up over simple things that don't even matter, or just  b r e a t h e and trust that GOD (who knows all things) will work everything out for your good.


You can live in unforgiveness and hold grudges all day long. And you might actually think you're doing something by hardening your heart. But in reality, the other person isn't moved by your reactions to their piercing actions. They have moved on with life, and are sleeping peacefully at night.

I may sound like Tyler Perry when I say, "Forgiveness isn't for the other person; it's for you." But it's all biblical.

"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." Matthew 6:15 (Message)


Don't hold up your own blessings. You most certainly will get hurt in this life; it's just necessary to the flow of things. Everything can't be sunshine, rainbows, and ice cream all day/everyday. You will have low and lonely moments, but these are the defining junctures that set you up for a comeback. In the end, [if you're living right] your good days will outweigh your bad days.


And there's your encouragement of the day!


On the same note....


I was craving some chicken tortilla soup from Chick-fil-A today, despite the summery 70 degree weather. Have you tried it? That stuff is the bomb.com! Anyways, I go in the drive-thru and I get to see a few of my co-workers. Everyone's happy to see me, I get my soup (and I even check the bag), and I drive all the way home. I prepare to eat my soup out on the deck since it's SOO nice outside, only to find out that they gave me the wrong soup...chicken noodle! Really?! I contemplated on whether I should drive back up there or just be satisfied with what I got. And.....I wasn't satisfied, since I really really wanted that tortilla one! Bottom line, I got to get the soup I paid for and keep the other soup. I don't know about you, but I saw it as a blessing in disguise. God knew I would be hungry! Because He knows I'm a hungry and growing girl....yes growing! Haha!

"Yea but he has Potential"

So I looked up the definition of potential. Potential is defined as being capable of being but not yet in existence. Have you ever heard someone say, "Yea I know but he/she has a lot of potential"? This can be used in many different situations but I'm specifically referring to dating/courtship.

I was on Facebook the other day and the youth pastor at my church had a status up about pre-marriage. He gave 10 nuggets and one of them stated, "Don't fall in love with potential because too often potential can lose its motivation to grow into Purpose."



This one really stuck out to me and I started thinking about it. Honestly, being that everyone is created by God, everyone has potential. God has given everyone gifts, purpose, destinies so everyone is capable of being the man/woman that God has created them to be. Of course there are different magnitudes of that fact but just like his statement, potential shouldn't be the basis of any reason to pursue or allow someone to pursue you. "But they have potential." Of course they do!


I know all of you out there are beautiful/handsome people so I can imagine how many people show some form of interest in you BUT let's not forget the importance of being in God's will. I often say that Christian does NOT mean compatible! "You're a Christian? So am I. We're meant to be!" Although none of us are perfect, I don't believe God would send someone who has more potential than they have the motivation to grow into their purpose.


LADIES LADIES LADIES! I'm about to say this because I love yall lol God created a woman to be a helpmate for a man. You can't help a man that can't help himself. If he isn't doing anything, he doesn't need your help. He needs to be pursuing his God-given purpose and get to a place where he needs assistance in order for him to finally arrive at a season where God finally directs him to his "good thing." And vice versa, if a woman can't help herself, how can she be a helpmate for a man? Fellas, if she can't handle her OWN she can't help you with yours.


And that's the whole point of Project Wifey, to step over the line of "potential" into PURPOSE. To not only be capable of becoming who God has called you to be but to be pursuing and walking in it. 


My bishop said something last year that I will never forget. "Just because you are called doesn't mean you'll get there, it means you have the potential to." Everyone has potential but the only ones who reach it are the ones who are MOTIVATED to pursue their destinies. 


Having potential is not enough. How motivated are they? What are they pursuing, if anything? What are their plans for the future? Do they consistently challenge themselves? Are they obedient to God? Do they have the desire to be better? Do they provoke and encourage YOU to be better? 


I love the thought of a man of God who can say "Ok this is what we're going to do!" And a woman of God saying, "We can do this! I have your back!" Ladies, if he isn't going anywhere then he can't take you anywhere. He/she is not going to be perfect but they should at least have the desire to not only get better eventually but BE better daily.

Ladies PLEASE do not settle. The bible says that a man who finds a wife obtains FAVOR. That sounds like it requires some prerequisites to qualify. But you have to also qualify to be a helpmate. Let's not waste any time! This is a perfect season to allow God to mold and train you. God has so many plans for you but faith without works is dead. Handle God's desires and He will handle yours!

#TeamNatural

There's a plethora of information out there on natural hair these days...via blogs, YouTube, and meet-ups/information sessions for those rocking their natural dos. I don't profess to be any sort of expert on the subject, but I thought I'd add my two cents in there somewhere.

I don't remember the exact date I last got a relaxer or when my cousin officially cut my hair. The specifics aren't really that important to me. I transitioned with braids and blowouts from October/November 2010, and I had my cousin cut the remaining relaxed ends in July 2011.

I got my hair straightened this weekend, and I had NO IDEA how long it had gotten. Check out this blog post for some early pics of my natural hair journey.

As of now, the length is just bananas! I'm loving it so much!

Being natural (to me) simply means wearing my hair how it grows out my scalp. It seems silly that the whole topic is suddenly news. This is how we were created. *Not bashing those with relaxed hair* But as you can see above, my hair looks relaxed. It's healthier, and it's about the same length as my former relaxed hair.

I've never felt more confident, hair wise. Someone complimented my hair yesterday, saying that they like the versatility of my hair. And it's true. You can do so much stuff with it... the creativity with hair is endless. Me being a simple newbie, I haven't experimented with too many products or styles. I don't want to be overwhelmed, you know? I've found a couple regimens that work for me right now, and I'm just aiming to perfect those.

I was telling Chelsea that I feel like I'm in a Natural Hair sorority sometimes. Anytime I lock eyes with a fellow naturalista, we share a knowing look. We compliment each other's hairstyles and exchange information on the products we use on our hair. It's pretty sweet!

Sometimes I even find myself giving hair advice to people considering going natural. I have like three minutes to showcase my "expertise." Ha!

The Pros:

• Wake up and go! [Just spray some water, add some oil, and fluff! So easy!]
• What's an umbrella? [Unless you're wearing your hair straight, rain is your friend!]
• Unique curls/styles [Natural hair is so pretty, and there's so many options!]
• Versatility
• More confidence!

Being apart of #TeamNatural seems like a fad/ongoing trend these days. But I predict within the next couple of years, we will be able to distinguish those going natural to follow the crowd from those who truly want to embrace this significant life change.

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday folks!

I hope you all have been having a wonderful day thus far! I just wanted to say THANK YOU for reading the blog! It's greatly appreciated!

Today, guard your heart. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. You can do anything when God is backing you up!

I am filled with so much unexplainable joy right now! When you truly put God ahead of your own demands and desires, He takes care of you and gives you treasures that can't be bought. No amount of money, material thing, or person can fill that void (that we will all experience) like the love of Jesus can!

We will have good days, bad days, blah days, super exciting days....in the midst of it all GOD is good! Be encouraged no matter what situation you find yourself in today. God will never give you more than you can bear!

One more thing before I go....send up a prayer for me please! Seriously need to start this personal writing project but sometimes fear of the unknown and procrastination stop up my flow. I will continue to pray for you guys too! Thanks much!

"If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it."

RED FLAG

Hopefully you guys read "A Chat with Lorenzo." If not, be sure to check that out here!  One of the questions I asked him had to do with red flags. What are some red flags that Christian ladies should look out for when it comes to being pursued by a male with hidden intentions? I wanted to piggy back off of some of the things that Lorenzo said.


I'm going to be pretty transparent for a moment. I recently got a Facebook message from someone that was very inappropriate. I was pretty shocked considering I use my Facebook page as an opportunity to encourage and minister to people. I have God, Jesus and scriptures all up and down my page. So to get a message that was pretty suggestive was surprising but whatever. It happens I guess. But it encouraged me to write about these RED FLAGS.

• Sex is not a nonchalant topic. If a guy is a man of God, he shouldn't be saying anything that would tempt you or suggest sexual motives. "What are you wearing sexy?" "Send me a sexy  picture." "I love your lips and your hips." lol RED FLAG
• If he doesn't mention God or his relationship with Jesus, not cool. I actually was having a conversation with a guy once and I was talking about the Lord, etc and somehow he kept trying to shift the conversation. If you can't talk about God, then you can't talk to me. RED FLAG
• When does he contact you? Ladies, have you ever met a guy who never texts/calls you before 11pm? What kind of conversation are you expecting me to have that late? An inappropriate one obviously. A man of God will contact you at a decent hour. RED FLAG
• Oh I hate this one. "Oh you're waiting until marriage? That's cool. What's the most you've done?" Boy bye! RED FLAG
•  I read the Bible daily. I have quite a few favorite verses. I know I'm not the only one who has come across this guy. "My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. I can't think of any other ones right now". SMH RED FLAG
• How does he treat his mother/sisters. A man who doesn't respect the women in his life will not respect you. If he disrespects and talks against his mother and/or sisters RED FLAG
• If he only wants to hang out at night, alone, in a secluded place like someone's house, RED FLAG. Men of God do not put themselves in tempting situations. All that secluded late night stuff leads to "Can I take a nap? (At midnight) No ladies. Not acceptable!
• Is he plugged in at his ministry? I definitely think it's very important to be involved at their church. Of course it's great to go to service but are they helping to push the vision? If they're not serving God in some way RED FLAG
•  "I don't want to meet your family, friends, and pastor yet." And this goes on for quite some time. What are you hiding? RED FLAG
• Are they consistent church goers? A few years ago I asked this guy once if he goes to church and he said yes he did. He asked me how often do I go and I said every week. His response was "Daaaang you go like that????" My God smh RED FLAG
• Does he make you better? God gave me this a few months ago. "Don't add a person to your life that subtracts from your progress." Nothing more beautiful than two people God brought together who are riding God's wave together. However, the opposite can be tragic. RED FLAG
• Are they at all concerned about your relationship with Jesus? I think the most beautiful thing is a person who will step back and adjust if they realize they are hindering your walk. Are they willing to step aside or do they continue pursuing selfishly with no regard to your relationship with the Lord. RED FLAG
• Do their priorities line up to yours? Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the Kingdom of God. I refuse to follow a man who puts everything above God. You should only trust a man who fully trusts in God. If not RED FLAG
• Does he make the extra effort to open the door? Remember, your daughter will grow up desiring a man like her father and your sons will learn to be a man from their father. Chivalry is IMPORTANT. I love the men at my church. Every time a woman walks down steps or walks towards the door, you better believe a man is on their way to assist them. If a man never makes an effort RED FLAG

I just realized I need to do a RED FLAGS series lol There are so many I can say and I don't think I've even come close to touching on all of them. Proverbs 4:23 says "Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life." If you guard your heart properly and refuse to release it until God gives "the okay," you will pick up on these red flags. Otherwise you risk looking over them due to your emotions.

So keep your heart pure from confusion and truly hide yourself in God. The wrong guys won't stand a chance at getting past our loving Father, because God truly loves His daughters and desires the best for us. But I'm excited about that ONE who will get the approval :-) Ladies remember that you are THE prize!

 To get even more insight on men of God, check out this Reader's Favorite, Click Here Happy reading!

I remember when...

Everyone this is Candice! I'm sure if you read our blog you know her as the silly clumsy one who always finds herself in the craziest situations. Well all that is true lol I know that Candice as well. But I also know the Candice who is the funniest person I know, full of life, pure at heart, and destined for greatness!

One of the things I appreciate about Candice most is that she is incredibly trustworthy. That is an extremely important characteristic in a friend to me. She stays true to her word. She always holds up her end. It's nice to have someone around you who you don't have to worry about whispering behind your back. Or sharing personal things with the people around them. She's one of those people. I can tell her whatever and not worry about hearing it repeated. I never have to say "Keep this between us." She already knows and that's a characteristic you don't come across a lot. Maybe a handfull in a lifetime.

As I said, she has a pure heart. She never aims to hurt or disrespect anyone. She wants the best for people. She's not envious or prideful. She's full of joy and energy. She also believes in me as well as the things God has placed inside of me. We encourage each other. We fuss and get on each others nerves too. It's kind of funny actually.

Her brother thinks we're crazy I think. I'll admit, we are pretty strange. I've always felt weird but it's pretty cool to know someone even weirder haha It's cool to just be able to BE. One day in particular we were at Short Pump shopping center and this swing music came on and we started swing dancing in the middle of the floor. Who else could I do that with?? lol Or recently, we saw a new couple at our church who are dating, walking to their car. We were not expecting it AT ALL and were so happy. I turned on shouting music and we started shouting in my car lol It was quite a funny scene but a typical day for us.

She's the type of friend who never feels obligated to know everything. She doesn't pry into my life but leaves the door open for when I choose to share. I can count on her to pray. Plus I don't doubt that when things are going in my favor that she is sincerely happy for me. She's also consistent. She isn't a different person every day of the week.

One of the best things about her is that she isn't draining. She encourages me in the same ways I encourage her. She vents to me in the same ways I vent to her. She doesn't make more withdrawals than she does deposits. She's not full of drama. She isn't ALWAYS having a bad day or having an issue. She's pretty laid back and doesn't gossip. Just an all around cool person.

I felt led to write this because Candice and I have a funny friendship and I wanted to change it up a bit. We're always fussing and cracking jokes on each other. Figured I'd be civil for the purpose of this blog. :-)

Her parents actually told me that when her mother was pregnant with her brother, Candice wanted him to be a girl so they could name her Chelsea. Funny how things work out lol So yeah. Everyone needs a friend like Candice. There are very few people who have the type of heart that she does. And although we're both on this journey of becoming BETTER, I think she already has a great character to build upon.

Yall better watch out! There's a treasure on the inside of her. I believe God is going to use her for some amazing things. And lastly, the BEST thing about her is that she LOVES God. I'm excited for her future. One day we'll look back and say "Wow I remember when..."

A Chat with Lorenzo

Tell us a little about yourself.

Well I am 24yrs Old.  I did my undergrad at Liberty majoring in Worship &Music Ministry and now working on a Master’s degree in Christian Leadership. I have 8 brothers and sisters and I am the youngest. I love family and I love spending time with good friends and most importantly the Lord. I made the first conscious decision to pursue a calling in ministry at the age 19. It has definitely been a journey. I have had the honor and privilege of traveling with a singing group called the Sounds of Liberty for four years. We have traveled all over singing in different churches and at many conferences and events. I have learned so much from that.

My passions are singing for the glory, I love love love leading worship and seeing people Worship the Living God, that is what He desires for us to worship Him. I must say also that there are not too many things that make me happier than someone coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

What is your definition of wholeness? And do you think wholeness for women is different than for men? If so, in what ways?

My definition of wholeness is to be full and complete, and I believe that comes from Jesus.

It is a man and woman being confident in whom they are as person and understanding the role that they have as a man and woman of God. There may be small differences but I think wholeness, for the majority of things is the same. It is a person knowing how to conduct him/her behavior in any given situation. I think it has a lot to do with character, having integrity in all of your decisions being a person of example, worthy of respect. Again I believe that this person has to have the realization that wholeness can only be obtained in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What are some characteristics that you feel a woman of God should possess?

Woman of prayer, Heart of worship, Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, Kindness, Comforter, Encourager, Motivator, Respectful, Trustworthy, Unselfish, Submissive (context of marriage), And the list goes on…….

Discernment is important. What are some red flags you feel a woman should look out for if being pursued by a man who secretly has ungodly intentions?

1. Conversation

The way a man just talks with you can say a lot. Where does the conversation start, what is the direction, how do you leave feeling, where does your mind go. If it is easy for the conversation to get inappropriate, then it’s a flag. I think that the conversation should be God honoring, and you feel safe. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that EVERY convo will be about God, but if a man that is pursuing you never talks about God in a way that shows he is pursuing God, RED FLAG goes up.

2. Actions

In this man’s pursuit is he showing any signs of him caring about your relationship with Christ. In his pursuit does he point you to Jesus? Look at the way he treats people, mainly when not necessarily in a spotlight situation. Anybody can put up a front but subconsciously the real person comes out. How is integrity in small situations and big situations? Also if he is constantly trying to be alone with you secluded from everyone, especially late. RED FLAG

Proverbs 18:22 tells us that a man FINDS a wife. There are many women who take the first step in pursuing or showing interest in a man. What are your thoughts on that?

I completely agree with Proverbs 18:22. Personally for me if a girl is trying to pursue a man that is a complete turn off.  I think a guy should start the pursuit always, I don’t see a problem with a girl meeting us halfway. Sometimes we guys can be really dumb and unaware so we need hints to know that what we are doing is working and a lot of hints for the really slow guys.

A girl that will flat out ask a guy out on a date with the intentions of wanting to pursue a romantic relationship, I think, is a bit much. Trust us ladies, all you have to do is show interest back and we will do the rest. A real man will step up and do what he needs to do in order to make something happen, if a guy doesn’t step up he doesn’t come close to deserving you. Be patient with us.

In your opinion, how can premature dating or dating outside of God’s will affect a person and their relationship with God?

If you are outside of God’s will then you are missing out on the full blessings that God has for you. I think by dating prematurely you are missing out on the gift of singleness, and growing in the Lord the way you have the potential to.  Dating outside of God’s will, will only lead to misery in the long run even if the relationship starts good. I have experienced that in my own life. There is always a lesson to learn from any relationship though. God can use anything and make it good.

Are there any bible verses in particular that help you remain patient when waiting on the promises of God to be fulfilled?

Matthew 6:33-34 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and know that I am God."

In what ways can a person take full advantage of the gift of singleness until God’s timing to pursue a relationship?

1. Study the Word and spend time with God and figure out who you really are in Christ and as a person. Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy. Learn your love language; figure out how you love and ways that you liked to be loved. Figure out your spiritual gifts and how God wants to use you in ministry. (We are all called). Accomplish goals that you have. Learn to be your own person so that you bring something to a relationship and you are not looking for a man/woman to complete you.

2. Do work for the kingdom. Spend as much time as possible working in a church, witnessing to people about Jesus. Nothing better than doing work for the Kingdom and seeing the fruit of your labor.

Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts. In what ways do you believe a person can guard their heart when developing friendships with people of the opposite sex? Are there any specific steps you take in order to keep that boundary?

This is kind of a tough question to answer for me.

 I would say to keep it in a group setting for majority of the time when developing a friendship. Every once in a while a lunch or dinner would be cool.

Personally, I could be weird in this, but I don’t develop a lot of friendships with the opposite sex. I have acquaintances but I don’t get too close to girls that I am not pursuing and I guess that would be a way that I guard my heart. If I am close to a girl it means I have probably known her for more than a couple of years and/or had to be around her for something. I guess avoidance would be the way I guard my heart.

Any final thoughts/words of encouragement?

Take advantage of being single, learn about yourself, read books, go to conferences etc. and prepare yourself for your mate and ask God to prepare your mate for you. Focus on God’s will for today and get lost in doing His work and he will handle yours.

If you have any specific questions you would like us to ask the fellas, send us an email at projectwifey@gmail.com. Stay tuned for more male features!

Moment of Truth

Moment of truth.....

....because as you all know, I'm as honest as they come.

So, I have a stalking problem...lol. No, no...I'm not being stalked. I am the stalker. Facebook and Twitter are my playgrounds. Maybe I'm not the only one with this problem?? ;-)

I confess that I've been stalking two individuals mighty heavily this week, just waiting to see if anything on their pages has been updated. And of course, these are guys. Mighty fine, I might add. One dude, I just keep reading too into his tweets. I think all his tweets/sub-tweets are about me. Yeah, that's vain. He doesn't even know me; I can count on one hand how many times I've talked to him in life. Then the other one only updates his page like once every 6 months! Still, I search through his stuff like I'm looking for gold.

I don't know where this "stalk-ish" behavior came from. I mean, I think we all occasionally gaze longer than we should at someone's page and/or pictures. I don't know why, but this has been a little out of control for me in this week alone. It could be due to those feelings of wanting a mate. This week, those feelings came rushing in like a flood. Out of nowhere. I guess that's one disadvantage of being single. Sometimes you wake up and realize, "Hey I'm ____ years old, and I'm still single!" What's the hold up, God?

Now, sometimes this single life can be so exciting and amazing. You're independent, and you don't have to answer to anyone. Whatever you want to do, you can do...without a relationship slowing up progress. You can get stuff done, stuff that would've been pushed back for 5, 10, 15 years because of the infatuous feelings a relationship brings.

Then, sometimes being single sucks. Point blank, period. Sometimes you just want someone's company, and you want to be needed. You want to be the missing piece to someone's puzzle. You want to just be vulnerable to that one person and allow them to witness you, flaws and all. You want to hurry up and renounce the title of "single" so that you can live the life you've always dreamed of. That happily ever after life. That "We've been married for 50 years, and we're still in love" kind of life. It's possible.

Excuse me for being gushy. I'm just feeling that way right now.

 And I apologize to the guys I was stalking. Not ladylike AT ALL.

"When a MAN FINDS...." and hopefully you know the rest. *Proverbs 18:22*

YOU CAN DO IT!

I can SO relate to this poem. It definitely gives a different view of weight loss. Alot of people see weight loss as an opportunity to look and feel better. And although that's true God desires us to be healthy. Our bodies are temples not to be abused by gluttony. This gave me an added boost to not only get healthy for physical reasons but also spiritual reasons.

YOU CAN DO IT!