Moment of Truth

Moment of truth.....

....because as you all know, I'm as honest as they come.

So, I have a stalking problem...lol. No, no...I'm not being stalked. I am the stalker. Facebook and Twitter are my playgrounds. Maybe I'm not the only one with this problem?? ;-)

I confess that I've been stalking two individuals mighty heavily this week, just waiting to see if anything on their pages has been updated. And of course, these are guys. Mighty fine, I might add. One dude, I just keep reading too into his tweets. I think all his tweets/sub-tweets are about me. Yeah, that's vain. He doesn't even know me; I can count on one hand how many times I've talked to him in life. Then the other one only updates his page like once every 6 months! Still, I search through his stuff like I'm looking for gold.

I don't know where this "stalk-ish" behavior came from. I mean, I think we all occasionally gaze longer than we should at someone's page and/or pictures. I don't know why, but this has been a little out of control for me in this week alone. It could be due to those feelings of wanting a mate. This week, those feelings came rushing in like a flood. Out of nowhere. I guess that's one disadvantage of being single. Sometimes you wake up and realize, "Hey I'm ____ years old, and I'm still single!" What's the hold up, God?

Now, sometimes this single life can be so exciting and amazing. You're independent, and you don't have to answer to anyone. Whatever you want to do, you can do...without a relationship slowing up progress. You can get stuff done, stuff that would've been pushed back for 5, 10, 15 years because of the infatuous feelings a relationship brings.

Then, sometimes being single sucks. Point blank, period. Sometimes you just want someone's company, and you want to be needed. You want to be the missing piece to someone's puzzle. You want to just be vulnerable to that one person and allow them to witness you, flaws and all. You want to hurry up and renounce the title of "single" so that you can live the life you've always dreamed of. That happily ever after life. That "We've been married for 50 years, and we're still in love" kind of life. It's possible.

Excuse me for being gushy. I'm just feeling that way right now.

 And I apologize to the guys I was stalking. Not ladylike AT ALL.

"When a MAN FINDS...." and hopefully you know the rest. *Proverbs 18:22*

Don't Be So Available

Remember when I had that vent awhile back over my mom? lol (sorry again mother haha)...Well, I forgot to write on what I had planned to be writing on....


I remember when I was trying to get over the break-up of my ex, and my mom was the main one I cried to and confided in. She gave me SOO much advice to help me get over that, and I still have a notebook slightly filled with all those motivational nuggets. One thing that ALWAYS sticks out to me is when she told me, "Don't be so available."


I'm gonna try not to go into too much detail, since the whole ordeal with my ex is a very tiring subject. We've been broken up since 2008; but somehow on every holiday or special event throughout the year, we end up talking to each other via text and then phone and usually meeting somewhere to catch up. He's usually the one that instigates the random texts. If it's my birthday, he'll wish me a good one and a conversation comes out of that. Mainly, it's just Christmas, New Year's, and my Bday.


We'll go months without talking, and if it's not a holiday...that's when the random convos begin---> "Let me ask you a question. If we ever got back together, do you think it would work?" or "Hey, I just wanted to check to see how you were doing." etc...


These talking moments usually last a couple or days or so, because he wants to be my friend. I argue that we can't. (I mean, this dude cheated on me and until this year, he was still with that same girl. Be your friend? Umm, where they do that at?) So, we argue the same arguments since 2008. Like, it's the same conversations...same words--EVERYTHING.


Last encounter--yesterday. lol. So, here it is June 6, 2011. I'm NOT going to be available to him anymore. You all are my witnesses. haha


By texting him back and answering the phone all those random times, I was almost being used like a puppet. I probably appeared to him to be "the one that will always be there, will never leave." Welp, no more! I'm tired of it! The only solution I can think of is to just ignore him. You're probably thinking, duh! Move on! Change your number!


I don't feel like changing my number and going through all of that...lol. It's bad enough that we both have memorized one another's numbers, soo there's a lesson for ya. Don't memorize your significant other's number!! (at least until you get married lol) When you don't know it, it won't be so easy to contact "old faithful."


Even if you're dating right now, don't be so available. You don't have to put everything down and stop what you're doing every time they call. Remember, you need a life OUTSIDE of your mate, and sometimes from your regular group of friends too. People don't have to know all of your whereabouts. They're not your spouse, so you don't have to answer to them right now. Technically, you're still "single" but don't be a player either. Be a mystery, and keep all of them guessing on your next move.