Happy Monday!

Happy Monday folks!

I hope you all have been having a wonderful day thus far! I just wanted to say THANK YOU for reading the blog! It's greatly appreciated!

Today, guard your heart. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. You can do anything when God is backing you up!

I am filled with so much unexplainable joy right now! When you truly put God ahead of your own demands and desires, He takes care of you and gives you treasures that can't be bought. No amount of money, material thing, or person can fill that void (that we will all experience) like the love of Jesus can!

We will have good days, bad days, blah days, super exciting days....in the midst of it all GOD is good! Be encouraged no matter what situation you find yourself in today. God will never give you more than you can bear!

One more thing before I go....send up a prayer for me please! Seriously need to start this personal writing project but sometimes fear of the unknown and procrastination stop up my flow. I will continue to pray for you guys too! Thanks much!

"If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it."

RED FLAG

Hopefully you guys read "A Chat with Lorenzo." If not, be sure to check that out here!  One of the questions I asked him had to do with red flags. What are some red flags that Christian ladies should look out for when it comes to being pursued by a male with hidden intentions? I wanted to piggy back off of some of the things that Lorenzo said.


I'm going to be pretty transparent for a moment. I recently got a Facebook message from someone that was very inappropriate. I was pretty shocked considering I use my Facebook page as an opportunity to encourage and minister to people. I have God, Jesus and scriptures all up and down my page. So to get a message that was pretty suggestive was surprising but whatever. It happens I guess. But it encouraged me to write about these RED FLAGS.

• Sex is not a nonchalant topic. If a guy is a man of God, he shouldn't be saying anything that would tempt you or suggest sexual motives. "What are you wearing sexy?" "Send me a sexy  picture." "I love your lips and your hips." lol RED FLAG
• If he doesn't mention God or his relationship with Jesus, not cool. I actually was having a conversation with a guy once and I was talking about the Lord, etc and somehow he kept trying to shift the conversation. If you can't talk about God, then you can't talk to me. RED FLAG
• When does he contact you? Ladies, have you ever met a guy who never texts/calls you before 11pm? What kind of conversation are you expecting me to have that late? An inappropriate one obviously. A man of God will contact you at a decent hour. RED FLAG
• Oh I hate this one. "Oh you're waiting until marriage? That's cool. What's the most you've done?" Boy bye! RED FLAG
•  I read the Bible daily. I have quite a few favorite verses. I know I'm not the only one who has come across this guy. "My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. I can't think of any other ones right now". SMH RED FLAG
• How does he treat his mother/sisters. A man who doesn't respect the women in his life will not respect you. If he disrespects and talks against his mother and/or sisters RED FLAG
• If he only wants to hang out at night, alone, in a secluded place like someone's house, RED FLAG. Men of God do not put themselves in tempting situations. All that secluded late night stuff leads to "Can I take a nap? (At midnight) No ladies. Not acceptable!
• Is he plugged in at his ministry? I definitely think it's very important to be involved at their church. Of course it's great to go to service but are they helping to push the vision? If they're not serving God in some way RED FLAG
•  "I don't want to meet your family, friends, and pastor yet." And this goes on for quite some time. What are you hiding? RED FLAG
• Are they consistent church goers? A few years ago I asked this guy once if he goes to church and he said yes he did. He asked me how often do I go and I said every week. His response was "Daaaang you go like that????" My God smh RED FLAG
• Does he make you better? God gave me this a few months ago. "Don't add a person to your life that subtracts from your progress." Nothing more beautiful than two people God brought together who are riding God's wave together. However, the opposite can be tragic. RED FLAG
• Are they at all concerned about your relationship with Jesus? I think the most beautiful thing is a person who will step back and adjust if they realize they are hindering your walk. Are they willing to step aside or do they continue pursuing selfishly with no regard to your relationship with the Lord. RED FLAG
• Do their priorities line up to yours? Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the Kingdom of God. I refuse to follow a man who puts everything above God. You should only trust a man who fully trusts in God. If not RED FLAG
• Does he make the extra effort to open the door? Remember, your daughter will grow up desiring a man like her father and your sons will learn to be a man from their father. Chivalry is IMPORTANT. I love the men at my church. Every time a woman walks down steps or walks towards the door, you better believe a man is on their way to assist them. If a man never makes an effort RED FLAG

I just realized I need to do a RED FLAGS series lol There are so many I can say and I don't think I've even come close to touching on all of them. Proverbs 4:23 says "Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life." If you guard your heart properly and refuse to release it until God gives "the okay," you will pick up on these red flags. Otherwise you risk looking over them due to your emotions.

So keep your heart pure from confusion and truly hide yourself in God. The wrong guys won't stand a chance at getting past our loving Father, because God truly loves His daughters and desires the best for us. But I'm excited about that ONE who will get the approval :-) Ladies remember that you are THE prize!

 To get even more insight on men of God, check out this Reader's Favorite, Click Here Happy reading!

I remember when...

Everyone this is Candice! I'm sure if you read our blog you know her as the silly clumsy one who always finds herself in the craziest situations. Well all that is true lol I know that Candice as well. But I also know the Candice who is the funniest person I know, full of life, pure at heart, and destined for greatness!

One of the things I appreciate about Candice most is that she is incredibly trustworthy. That is an extremely important characteristic in a friend to me. She stays true to her word. She always holds up her end. It's nice to have someone around you who you don't have to worry about whispering behind your back. Or sharing personal things with the people around them. She's one of those people. I can tell her whatever and not worry about hearing it repeated. I never have to say "Keep this between us." She already knows and that's a characteristic you don't come across a lot. Maybe a handfull in a lifetime.

As I said, she has a pure heart. She never aims to hurt or disrespect anyone. She wants the best for people. She's not envious or prideful. She's full of joy and energy. She also believes in me as well as the things God has placed inside of me. We encourage each other. We fuss and get on each others nerves too. It's kind of funny actually.

Her brother thinks we're crazy I think. I'll admit, we are pretty strange. I've always felt weird but it's pretty cool to know someone even weirder haha It's cool to just be able to BE. One day in particular we were at Short Pump shopping center and this swing music came on and we started swing dancing in the middle of the floor. Who else could I do that with?? lol Or recently, we saw a new couple at our church who are dating, walking to their car. We were not expecting it AT ALL and were so happy. I turned on shouting music and we started shouting in my car lol It was quite a funny scene but a typical day for us.

She's the type of friend who never feels obligated to know everything. She doesn't pry into my life but leaves the door open for when I choose to share. I can count on her to pray. Plus I don't doubt that when things are going in my favor that she is sincerely happy for me. She's also consistent. She isn't a different person every day of the week.

One of the best things about her is that she isn't draining. She encourages me in the same ways I encourage her. She vents to me in the same ways I vent to her. She doesn't make more withdrawals than she does deposits. She's not full of drama. She isn't ALWAYS having a bad day or having an issue. She's pretty laid back and doesn't gossip. Just an all around cool person.

I felt led to write this because Candice and I have a funny friendship and I wanted to change it up a bit. We're always fussing and cracking jokes on each other. Figured I'd be civil for the purpose of this blog. :-)

Her parents actually told me that when her mother was pregnant with her brother, Candice wanted him to be a girl so they could name her Chelsea. Funny how things work out lol So yeah. Everyone needs a friend like Candice. There are very few people who have the type of heart that she does. And although we're both on this journey of becoming BETTER, I think she already has a great character to build upon.

Yall better watch out! There's a treasure on the inside of her. I believe God is going to use her for some amazing things. And lastly, the BEST thing about her is that she LOVES God. I'm excited for her future. One day we'll look back and say "Wow I remember when..."

A Chat with Lorenzo

Tell us a little about yourself.

Well I am 24yrs Old.  I did my undergrad at Liberty majoring in Worship &Music Ministry and now working on a Master’s degree in Christian Leadership. I have 8 brothers and sisters and I am the youngest. I love family and I love spending time with good friends and most importantly the Lord. I made the first conscious decision to pursue a calling in ministry at the age 19. It has definitely been a journey. I have had the honor and privilege of traveling with a singing group called the Sounds of Liberty for four years. We have traveled all over singing in different churches and at many conferences and events. I have learned so much from that.

My passions are singing for the glory, I love love love leading worship and seeing people Worship the Living God, that is what He desires for us to worship Him. I must say also that there are not too many things that make me happier than someone coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior.

What is your definition of wholeness? And do you think wholeness for women is different than for men? If so, in what ways?

My definition of wholeness is to be full and complete, and I believe that comes from Jesus.

It is a man and woman being confident in whom they are as person and understanding the role that they have as a man and woman of God. There may be small differences but I think wholeness, for the majority of things is the same. It is a person knowing how to conduct him/her behavior in any given situation. I think it has a lot to do with character, having integrity in all of your decisions being a person of example, worthy of respect. Again I believe that this person has to have the realization that wholeness can only be obtained in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What are some characteristics that you feel a woman of God should possess?

Woman of prayer, Heart of worship, Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, Kindness, Comforter, Encourager, Motivator, Respectful, Trustworthy, Unselfish, Submissive (context of marriage), And the list goes on…….

Discernment is important. What are some red flags you feel a woman should look out for if being pursued by a man who secretly has ungodly intentions?

1. Conversation

The way a man just talks with you can say a lot. Where does the conversation start, what is the direction, how do you leave feeling, where does your mind go. If it is easy for the conversation to get inappropriate, then it’s a flag. I think that the conversation should be God honoring, and you feel safe. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that EVERY convo will be about God, but if a man that is pursuing you never talks about God in a way that shows he is pursuing God, RED FLAG goes up.

2. Actions

In this man’s pursuit is he showing any signs of him caring about your relationship with Christ. In his pursuit does he point you to Jesus? Look at the way he treats people, mainly when not necessarily in a spotlight situation. Anybody can put up a front but subconsciously the real person comes out. How is integrity in small situations and big situations? Also if he is constantly trying to be alone with you secluded from everyone, especially late. RED FLAG

Proverbs 18:22 tells us that a man FINDS a wife. There are many women who take the first step in pursuing or showing interest in a man. What are your thoughts on that?

I completely agree with Proverbs 18:22. Personally for me if a girl is trying to pursue a man that is a complete turn off.  I think a guy should start the pursuit always, I don’t see a problem with a girl meeting us halfway. Sometimes we guys can be really dumb and unaware so we need hints to know that what we are doing is working and a lot of hints for the really slow guys.

A girl that will flat out ask a guy out on a date with the intentions of wanting to pursue a romantic relationship, I think, is a bit much. Trust us ladies, all you have to do is show interest back and we will do the rest. A real man will step up and do what he needs to do in order to make something happen, if a guy doesn’t step up he doesn’t come close to deserving you. Be patient with us.

In your opinion, how can premature dating or dating outside of God’s will affect a person and their relationship with God?

If you are outside of God’s will then you are missing out on the full blessings that God has for you. I think by dating prematurely you are missing out on the gift of singleness, and growing in the Lord the way you have the potential to.  Dating outside of God’s will, will only lead to misery in the long run even if the relationship starts good. I have experienced that in my own life. There is always a lesson to learn from any relationship though. God can use anything and make it good.

Are there any bible verses in particular that help you remain patient when waiting on the promises of God to be fulfilled?

Matthew 6:33-34 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and know that I am God."

In what ways can a person take full advantage of the gift of singleness until God’s timing to pursue a relationship?

1. Study the Word and spend time with God and figure out who you really are in Christ and as a person. Figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy. Learn your love language; figure out how you love and ways that you liked to be loved. Figure out your spiritual gifts and how God wants to use you in ministry. (We are all called). Accomplish goals that you have. Learn to be your own person so that you bring something to a relationship and you are not looking for a man/woman to complete you.

2. Do work for the kingdom. Spend as much time as possible working in a church, witnessing to people about Jesus. Nothing better than doing work for the Kingdom and seeing the fruit of your labor.

Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts. In what ways do you believe a person can guard their heart when developing friendships with people of the opposite sex? Are there any specific steps you take in order to keep that boundary?

This is kind of a tough question to answer for me.

 I would say to keep it in a group setting for majority of the time when developing a friendship. Every once in a while a lunch or dinner would be cool.

Personally, I could be weird in this, but I don’t develop a lot of friendships with the opposite sex. I have acquaintances but I don’t get too close to girls that I am not pursuing and I guess that would be a way that I guard my heart. If I am close to a girl it means I have probably known her for more than a couple of years and/or had to be around her for something. I guess avoidance would be the way I guard my heart.

Any final thoughts/words of encouragement?

Take advantage of being single, learn about yourself, read books, go to conferences etc. and prepare yourself for your mate and ask God to prepare your mate for you. Focus on God’s will for today and get lost in doing His work and he will handle yours.

If you have any specific questions you would like us to ask the fellas, send us an email at projectwifey@gmail.com. Stay tuned for more male features!

Moment of Truth

Moment of truth.....

....because as you all know, I'm as honest as they come.

So, I have a stalking problem...lol. No, no...I'm not being stalked. I am the stalker. Facebook and Twitter are my playgrounds. Maybe I'm not the only one with this problem?? ;-)

I confess that I've been stalking two individuals mighty heavily this week, just waiting to see if anything on their pages has been updated. And of course, these are guys. Mighty fine, I might add. One dude, I just keep reading too into his tweets. I think all his tweets/sub-tweets are about me. Yeah, that's vain. He doesn't even know me; I can count on one hand how many times I've talked to him in life. Then the other one only updates his page like once every 6 months! Still, I search through his stuff like I'm looking for gold.

I don't know where this "stalk-ish" behavior came from. I mean, I think we all occasionally gaze longer than we should at someone's page and/or pictures. I don't know why, but this has been a little out of control for me in this week alone. It could be due to those feelings of wanting a mate. This week, those feelings came rushing in like a flood. Out of nowhere. I guess that's one disadvantage of being single. Sometimes you wake up and realize, "Hey I'm ____ years old, and I'm still single!" What's the hold up, God?

Now, sometimes this single life can be so exciting and amazing. You're independent, and you don't have to answer to anyone. Whatever you want to do, you can do...without a relationship slowing up progress. You can get stuff done, stuff that would've been pushed back for 5, 10, 15 years because of the infatuous feelings a relationship brings.

Then, sometimes being single sucks. Point blank, period. Sometimes you just want someone's company, and you want to be needed. You want to be the missing piece to someone's puzzle. You want to just be vulnerable to that one person and allow them to witness you, flaws and all. You want to hurry up and renounce the title of "single" so that you can live the life you've always dreamed of. That happily ever after life. That "We've been married for 50 years, and we're still in love" kind of life. It's possible.

Excuse me for being gushy. I'm just feeling that way right now.

 And I apologize to the guys I was stalking. Not ladylike AT ALL.

"When a MAN FINDS...." and hopefully you know the rest. *Proverbs 18:22*

YOU CAN DO IT!

I can SO relate to this poem. It definitely gives a different view of weight loss. Alot of people see weight loss as an opportunity to look and feel better. And although that's true God desires us to be healthy. Our bodies are temples not to be abused by gluttony. This gave me an added boost to not only get healthy for physical reasons but also spiritual reasons.

YOU CAN DO IT! 

What Will They Say About You?

Last Saturday, February 11th, I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Whitney Houston. She was so young, so beautiful, and she made such an impact on the music industry. People would often use her songs when auditioning for talent shows and contests. Still, no one could sing her songs like she could. It's still unbelievable that she's gone. I'm almost in the same shock I was in 3 years ago when Michael Jackson died. Both icons were gone too soon.

I retweeted this last Saturday:

More than ever this fuels my desire to do all I'm supposed to be doing. We just don't know WHEN. She did SO much, inspired SO many. #DieEmpty

I think I've stated something along those lines several times throughout this blog. We just don't know when our life will end. Are you doing all you're supposed to be doing? What will people say about you when you die? Will they have anything meaningful to say on your accomplishments? Will you have inspired anyone to be greater than they are? Whether you touch the lives of a nation or influence a stranger in a positive way, each moment counts. So continue to live like you're dying, and aim to leave your mark on this world.

In memory of Whitney Houston, this is one of my favorite songs from her last album a few years ago. Enjoy!

You are valuable!

So tonight it's on my heart to talk about SELF WORTH. I was blessed to grow up in a very loving home. I was always told that I deserved the best. I realize that not everyone had the same up bringing as I did and some people really don't know what they truly deserve.

Even though I was always told that I deserved the best, I still found myself settling with certain situations in life. Not necessarily from a lack of self worth but moreso because I was giving in to convenience. But I've learned my lesson and will never do that again. Candice and I were having a conversation tonight after church and one of the things we talked about was the fact that people need space to build a foundation with God.

I was going over a poem I wrote a while back and it talks about how God began showing me who I really am AFTER He began removing people out of my life. I've been on this journey of self discovery for 23 years now and I've JUST begun to scratch the surface. And I believe that I'm finally getting there because I'm focusing all my attention on GOD. I write a lot of encouraging statuses on Facebook and one of the things that came to me the other day was "Don't spend more time studying 'How to be a wife/husband" that you neglect to study 'How to be a Christian." (Or something along those lines)

Any relationship can not properly sustain without a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. I won't assume everyone knows how a person receives salvation so I'll explain. Salvation is received when you repent of your sins and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart. You MUST believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who came to earth to die for our sins so that we will have the opportunity to live eternally in heaven. Salvation isn't received until you accept JESUS. hence the word CHRISTian.

It is with that acceptance that you begin to comprehend how much you truly are worth to God. That's why it's so important to truly KNOW Him. Not just hear about it, not just believe He existed but KNOW Him. Love without Jesus Christ is no love at all. It is with that relationship that you learn how to love.

I hope everyone knows how much, not only God but Jesus Christ, loves you! You are invaluable to Him. So much that He was willing to give His life for You. I know most people desire companionship but without a relationship with Jesus, you won't be able to see what you truly deserve.

My church started singing a hymn I grew up on Sunday, "I know it was the blood." Although they still sing modern songs, I've really warmed up to hearing hymns again. You can't take Jesus or the blood of Jesus out of church. You can't be saved without them! There really is power in those songs. I was feeling it lol Like for real!

Anyway, embrace this season of singleness.  Allow your heart to overflow with the love that Jesus has to offer. Once you've given Jesus your heart THEN everything else will be added. Most of us want families one day. But you can't have a CHRISTian relationship, whether married or dating, without a firm relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember that you deserve the best! Know your worth and walk in it! You've been brought with a price. :-)

"My Goal In Life Is To Be A MOM!"

There's nothing wrong with desiring to be a mom. I want to be a mom to a band of kids one day. :)

There's also nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife. More power to YOU! It's definitely not for everyone, including me.

My issue is when people say that's all they want to be, when they grow up. I'm even more confused when they say that, and they haven't even landed a man yet. *side eye, all day long* 

You want to be a mom, yet you're missing a crucial piece of the puzzle to contribute to your dream. Unless, you're adopting or getting stuff planted into you and whatnot.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers on what she wanted to do with her life. She's married, and I think her son is around 2 years old. I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but I remember we talked about it on at least two separate occasions. She told me that all she ever wanted to be was a mom. (And no, this posting isn't about her specifically. I've talked to quite a few girls who've claimed the same.) 

Her statement just didn't sit well with me. In my mind, I'm always thinking that having children is never guaranteed. Of course, there are a plethora of options out there nowadays to fulfill a desiring parent's needs. However, many folks want to create their own mini-me's with their respective mates.  

If your life's desire is to only be a wife/mother/homemaker, I just wonder what happens to your identity when the kids are grown and out the house. What happens when they go off to college or move to another city or state....who will you be then? What will define you then, since you won't have a child to readily cater to?

So, I remember asking my co-worker what she liked to do. Was there anything else that she thought of being when she grew up? What were her passions? At first, she hunched her shoulders and said she didn't know. That kind of made me sad. It's kind of weird, but I love encouraging people to walk into their purpose and go after their dreams. Yet, my own motivation to help others barely touches me in a way to move forward.

She then mentioned that she loved animals, and she had taken a few classes awhile ago to do something in the veterinary field. However, school wasn't really her thing. So, she took some time off (like many of us do). I gave her some "homework," and I told her to look up a school so she could enroll this Spring semester and finish her degree.

It was in the late months of 2011, when she came to work one day and proclaimed that she was going to cosmetology school in January. I was shocked at the change, but she was pretty amped about her decision. I could tell that this was an area where she would exhibit some passion. I ran into her today, and she just looked so happy dressed in her black hair apron. She explained all that she'd been up to in school, including learning how to do a relaxer on the first day of school! Wow! Listening to her speak on her future profession, almost made me consider going into the cosmetology field myself! Haha. 

She constantly tells my co-workers that it was I that pushed her to do this, that it was I that gave her that "homework assignment." 

Wow...didn't know my words had that much of an influential effect. And I didn't think she was actually going to take my advice. I mean, I feel like a "do as I say, not as I do" type gal...in the fact, that most days any self-motivation I have goes in one ear and out the other.

Maybe my purpose is to make sure you have a purpose? Hmmm....

Don't forget our motto:

"You can't be a wife until you get your own life!" 

Don't wait until marriage and kids to start living. Tomorrow isn't promised, and nothing except Jesus is guaranteed. Each one of us has a purpose to unlock and fulfill for the duration of our time here on this Earth. What are your passions, frustrations, likes, and dislikes? What would you do if money wasn't a factor? Your biggest frustration could be something that you are meant to solve. You were created for more than your 9-5, and you are more than the title of "mother" or "father." Take the time to find out.

Stay Strong!

Ladies and gentlemen, be mindful of a man/woman who does not fear God. "If they ain't fleeing, they ain't fearing." (Poor English I know but I thought it was catchy.) *shrugs*
 Fearing God keeps you out of trouble and gives you the strength to flee sexual temptations, amongst other things. God is faithful, so let's not cheat on Him. Here's a few verses for encouragement. Purity is the way to live!