I knew I was going to marry him

One thing I've learned over my 24 years of living is that sometimes while you're IN your current situation, you don't recognize the severity of your situation. Sometimes it takes taking yourself out of that situation for just a moment and asking yourself, "If this wasn't my current circumstance but the circumstance of someone I love, what would it look like to me?"

There are so many things that can blind us of our situations. In reference to relationships, there are reasons why God desires us to save sex until marriage. Not only does He want us to live purely but God knows of the bonds that are created when people engage in sex before marriage. Sex is a representation of "forever" which is why people use the phrase "soul tie." A soul tie will blind you and keep you from walking away from circumstances that are no good for you. And there's also the "yo yo effect" when a soul tie keeps a person going back to a someone who you were never meant to be with in the beginning.

It doesn't always take sex to create a soul tie. I'm sure the majority of people at some point in their lives have allowed their minds to entertain a thought. That thought turned into a paragraph which then turned into a story which then turned into a novel all while reality had yet to even take one step.

I remember when I was in middle school. I'm ashamed to say it but I was a HUGE B2K fan. My friends, cousins, and I would always go to their concerts. We met them a couple of times and it just seemed like the best times of our lives. I was specifically "in love" with Omarion. I knew I was going to marry him. I spent so much time daydreaming about how things would be WHEN we got married, WHEN we had kids, etc. I was completely convinced that we were meant for one another. Clearly, that was crazy. But in my 12 year old mind, I had idolized this person to the point that I thought I KNEW  all about him when I didn't even know him. Needless to say, when he kissed Jennifer Freeman in the "Girlfriends" video, I was heartbroken. (But that's a different post lol)

But that's the exact thing that some people do today as adults. They can't let someone go, whose obviously a red flag because they've allowed their mind to connect the happiness of their future with a person of their present, who God intended to be in their past. I can respect blindness. We've all been blind at some point in our lives. But there also comes a point where we have to see ourselves as the kings and queens that we are.

My challenge to you, no matter how you feel about your current situation, relationship, job, etc,. is to step back a moment and ask yourself, "If this was my sister's, brother's, daughter's, son's, mother's or father's circumstance, how would it look to me? What would I tell them? Would I believe God had better for them? Would I think they were in a mode of compromise?" If you'd be happy for them, praise God for His faithfulness in your life. But if there's anything inside of you that makes you doubt that your current situation would be attractive attached to someone you love, then pray that God will fully open your eyes.

If he doesn't treat you the way you would want your daughter to be treated or if she doesn't treat you the way you would want your son to be treated, you are undervaluing yourself. As I said in a previous post, everyone has potential and the ability to change. But when your happiness is a gamble depended on their "change" you may be setting yourself up to lose.

You are valuable!

So tonight it's on my heart to talk about SELF WORTH. I was blessed to grow up in a very loving home. I was always told that I deserved the best. I realize that not everyone had the same up bringing as I did and some people really don't know what they truly deserve.

Even though I was always told that I deserved the best, I still found myself settling with certain situations in life. Not necessarily from a lack of self worth but moreso because I was giving in to convenience. But I've learned my lesson and will never do that again. Candice and I were having a conversation tonight after church and one of the things we talked about was the fact that people need space to build a foundation with God.

I was going over a poem I wrote a while back and it talks about how God began showing me who I really am AFTER He began removing people out of my life. I've been on this journey of self discovery for 23 years now and I've JUST begun to scratch the surface. And I believe that I'm finally getting there because I'm focusing all my attention on GOD. I write a lot of encouraging statuses on Facebook and one of the things that came to me the other day was "Don't spend more time studying 'How to be a wife/husband" that you neglect to study 'How to be a Christian." (Or something along those lines)

Any relationship can not properly sustain without a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. I won't assume everyone knows how a person receives salvation so I'll explain. Salvation is received when you repent of your sins and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart. You MUST believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who came to earth to die for our sins so that we will have the opportunity to live eternally in heaven. Salvation isn't received until you accept JESUS. hence the word CHRISTian.

It is with that acceptance that you begin to comprehend how much you truly are worth to God. That's why it's so important to truly KNOW Him. Not just hear about it, not just believe He existed but KNOW Him. Love without Jesus Christ is no love at all. It is with that relationship that you learn how to love.

I hope everyone knows how much, not only God but Jesus Christ, loves you! You are invaluable to Him. So much that He was willing to give His life for You. I know most people desire companionship but without a relationship with Jesus, you won't be able to see what you truly deserve.

My church started singing a hymn I grew up on Sunday, "I know it was the blood." Although they still sing modern songs, I've really warmed up to hearing hymns again. You can't take Jesus or the blood of Jesus out of church. You can't be saved without them! There really is power in those songs. I was feeling it lol Like for real!

Anyway, embrace this season of singleness.  Allow your heart to overflow with the love that Jesus has to offer. Once you've given Jesus your heart THEN everything else will be added. Most of us want families one day. But you can't have a CHRISTian relationship, whether married or dating, without a firm relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember that you deserve the best! Know your worth and walk in it! You've been brought with a price. :-)