What Will They Say About You?

Last Saturday, February 11th, I was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Whitney Houston. She was so young, so beautiful, and she made such an impact on the music industry. People would often use her songs when auditioning for talent shows and contests. Still, no one could sing her songs like she could. It's still unbelievable that she's gone. I'm almost in the same shock I was in 3 years ago when Michael Jackson died. Both icons were gone too soon.

I retweeted this last Saturday:

More than ever this fuels my desire to do all I'm supposed to be doing. We just don't know WHEN. She did SO much, inspired SO many. #DieEmpty

I think I've stated something along those lines several times throughout this blog. We just don't know when our life will end. Are you doing all you're supposed to be doing? What will people say about you when you die? Will they have anything meaningful to say on your accomplishments? Will you have inspired anyone to be greater than they are? Whether you touch the lives of a nation or influence a stranger in a positive way, each moment counts. So continue to live like you're dying, and aim to leave your mark on this world.

In memory of Whitney Houston, this is one of my favorite songs from her last album a few years ago. Enjoy!

You are valuable!

So tonight it's on my heart to talk about SELF WORTH. I was blessed to grow up in a very loving home. I was always told that I deserved the best. I realize that not everyone had the same up bringing as I did and some people really don't know what they truly deserve.

Even though I was always told that I deserved the best, I still found myself settling with certain situations in life. Not necessarily from a lack of self worth but moreso because I was giving in to convenience. But I've learned my lesson and will never do that again. Candice and I were having a conversation tonight after church and one of the things we talked about was the fact that people need space to build a foundation with God.

I was going over a poem I wrote a while back and it talks about how God began showing me who I really am AFTER He began removing people out of my life. I've been on this journey of self discovery for 23 years now and I've JUST begun to scratch the surface. And I believe that I'm finally getting there because I'm focusing all my attention on GOD. I write a lot of encouraging statuses on Facebook and one of the things that came to me the other day was "Don't spend more time studying 'How to be a wife/husband" that you neglect to study 'How to be a Christian." (Or something along those lines)

Any relationship can not properly sustain without a solid foundation in Jesus Christ. I won't assume everyone knows how a person receives salvation so I'll explain. Salvation is received when you repent of your sins and ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart. You MUST believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who came to earth to die for our sins so that we will have the opportunity to live eternally in heaven. Salvation isn't received until you accept JESUS. hence the word CHRISTian.

It is with that acceptance that you begin to comprehend how much you truly are worth to God. That's why it's so important to truly KNOW Him. Not just hear about it, not just believe He existed but KNOW Him. Love without Jesus Christ is no love at all. It is with that relationship that you learn how to love.

I hope everyone knows how much, not only God but Jesus Christ, loves you! You are invaluable to Him. So much that He was willing to give His life for You. I know most people desire companionship but without a relationship with Jesus, you won't be able to see what you truly deserve.

My church started singing a hymn I grew up on Sunday, "I know it was the blood." Although they still sing modern songs, I've really warmed up to hearing hymns again. You can't take Jesus or the blood of Jesus out of church. You can't be saved without them! There really is power in those songs. I was feeling it lol Like for real!

Anyway, embrace this season of singleness.  Allow your heart to overflow with the love that Jesus has to offer. Once you've given Jesus your heart THEN everything else will be added. Most of us want families one day. But you can't have a CHRISTian relationship, whether married or dating, without a firm relationship with Jesus Christ. Remember that you deserve the best! Know your worth and walk in it! You've been brought with a price. :-)

"My Goal In Life Is To Be A MOM!"

There's nothing wrong with desiring to be a mom. I want to be a mom to a band of kids one day. :)

There's also nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife. More power to YOU! It's definitely not for everyone, including me.

My issue is when people say that's all they want to be, when they grow up. I'm even more confused when they say that, and they haven't even landed a man yet. *side eye, all day long* 

You want to be a mom, yet you're missing a crucial piece of the puzzle to contribute to your dream. Unless, you're adopting or getting stuff planted into you and whatnot.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers on what she wanted to do with her life. She's married, and I think her son is around 2 years old. I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but I remember we talked about it on at least two separate occasions. She told me that all she ever wanted to be was a mom. (And no, this posting isn't about her specifically. I've talked to quite a few girls who've claimed the same.) 

Her statement just didn't sit well with me. In my mind, I'm always thinking that having children is never guaranteed. Of course, there are a plethora of options out there nowadays to fulfill a desiring parent's needs. However, many folks want to create their own mini-me's with their respective mates.  

If your life's desire is to only be a wife/mother/homemaker, I just wonder what happens to your identity when the kids are grown and out the house. What happens when they go off to college or move to another city or state....who will you be then? What will define you then, since you won't have a child to readily cater to?

So, I remember asking my co-worker what she liked to do. Was there anything else that she thought of being when she grew up? What were her passions? At first, she hunched her shoulders and said she didn't know. That kind of made me sad. It's kind of weird, but I love encouraging people to walk into their purpose and go after their dreams. Yet, my own motivation to help others barely touches me in a way to move forward.

She then mentioned that she loved animals, and she had taken a few classes awhile ago to do something in the veterinary field. However, school wasn't really her thing. So, she took some time off (like many of us do). I gave her some "homework," and I told her to look up a school so she could enroll this Spring semester and finish her degree.

It was in the late months of 2011, when she came to work one day and proclaimed that she was going to cosmetology school in January. I was shocked at the change, but she was pretty amped about her decision. I could tell that this was an area where she would exhibit some passion. I ran into her today, and she just looked so happy dressed in her black hair apron. She explained all that she'd been up to in school, including learning how to do a relaxer on the first day of school! Wow! Listening to her speak on her future profession, almost made me consider going into the cosmetology field myself! Haha. 

She constantly tells my co-workers that it was I that pushed her to do this, that it was I that gave her that "homework assignment." 

Wow...didn't know my words had that much of an influential effect. And I didn't think she was actually going to take my advice. I mean, I feel like a "do as I say, not as I do" type gal...in the fact, that most days any self-motivation I have goes in one ear and out the other.

Maybe my purpose is to make sure you have a purpose? Hmmm....

Don't forget our motto:

"You can't be a wife until you get your own life!" 

Don't wait until marriage and kids to start living. Tomorrow isn't promised, and nothing except Jesus is guaranteed. Each one of us has a purpose to unlock and fulfill for the duration of our time here on this Earth. What are your passions, frustrations, likes, and dislikes? What would you do if money wasn't a factor? Your biggest frustration could be something that you are meant to solve. You were created for more than your 9-5, and you are more than the title of "mother" or "father." Take the time to find out.

Stay Strong!

Ladies and gentlemen, be mindful of a man/woman who does not fear God. "If they ain't fleeing, they ain't fearing." (Poor English I know but I thought it was catchy.) *shrugs*
 Fearing God keeps you out of trouble and gives you the strength to flee sexual temptations, amongst other things. God is faithful, so let's not cheat on Him. Here's a few verses for encouragement. Purity is the way to live!

Sports Thoughts

How 'bout them GIANTS!!! Ayeeeee!!! Did they not bring it?! Did they not? Eli Manning ALL DAY!!! *fist pump*

Sike, who am I kidding? I'm so unfamiliar with football lingo and the hypeness folks get while watching some beefy dudes tackle a little ball. I tried to get into the game though. I really did. I seriously need a Football for Dummies book, because the men in my life are not explaining the game on a level I can comprehend. My brain feels fried after listening to talk about 1st downs, 10 yd lines, interceptions, and the end zone. The only thing I understand fully is TOUCHDOWN!!! Why can't they just be fast enough to avoid getting beat up and just smoothly run to get a touchdown? It would be so simple that way.

Well, I guess that's the ultimate goal. But anyway...

One day I'm just gonna know the terms and the game. And hopefully, it'll be before I meet Mr. Man. I don't want him to have to explain the game to me. That's my job right now...when we meet (or start talking, if we've already met), it's just gonna be great. We can yell at the TV together, rooting for our fav teams. By then, I should have one or just go with the Redskins (my household's team). I'm not gonna be left out cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. Imma be with him and/or friends finally getting involved in the world of football.

I just admire females that are into sports. I wanna be like y'all when I grow up...lol seriously!

Can't wait for March Madness! Last year was the MOST basketball I've ever watched in my life, due to VCU's success. I just never knew that stuff could be so interesting!

Am I the only non-sports watcher out there? If not, what's your favorite sport to watch? Favorite teams? What/who should I be watching??

Can I Help You?

I'm often led to read Proverbs 31 to gain more insight into the woman I'm meant to be. I wrote this post last year pertaining to the subject.

Recently, I've been thinking more about dating and marriage. I'm at an ideal age to get married and begin a family. My mom has been hinting at it A LOT lately. Even the Bible notes that you should "enjoy the wife you married as a young man." (Proverbs 5:18 MSG)

I'm young. So, it's about that time! =)

I'm probably not ready, and I have lots to work on. But, who doesn't? If we wait for perfect conditions, we will never get anywhere. But I'm not here to talk about that. Mainly here to discuss a shift taking place within my mindset.

The husband was created to lead the household.

The wife was created to help her husband.

If the husband has no vision for his wife and household, what exactly is the wife assisting him in? Something to think about, right? It makes you look at possible significant others differently. If they're not about something RIGHT NOW (prior to marriage), a ring and a marriage certificate won't change the situation. Marriage isn't the time for a man to start asserting his authority and taking charge. It isn't the time to experiment and dabble in who you are. Self-assessment is a life-long process, but living single is a GREAT time to hear what God is telling you to do, without the duties/responsibilities of marriage muffling His voice.

My view on marriage is slowly, but surely, shifting to God's view on marriage. I was created to help, not run around doing my own thing. I'm opening my mind to the word, submission. I still feel iffy about submitting. Like what if I don't feel like it on some days? What if he's cocky, and happens to be a male chauvinist pig? What if he puts the fact that I'm a woman into some sort of box, like expects me to be a stay-at-home homemaker when I have my own dreams and goals...Unless God speaks, I just can't.

But God knows what I like more than myself, and I'm sure He wouldn't send me someone that would degrade one of His creations.

I've just been thinking more about this "help-meet" thing. When I look at potential guys now, I think to myself: Can I help you? or What can I help you with? If it's nothing, I begin to shift my focus to something else. It's gonna take more than pretty eyes, a sweet smile, and a nice build to keep me around.

As for guys, you should be thinking: Can she help me? If she is not willing to pray for you or help you in the endeavors that God has laid upon your heart, let her go. Furthermore, leave the lazy ones alone as well. Ouch, just stepped on my own toe. :-(

I might have to expand this to a Part 2 or something. So much more needs to be said. But I'll leave it at that for now.   

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

Vehicular Drama

How much do you know about cars?

If you're a female and your car were to break down on the side of the road, what would you do? (Assuming that your cell phone went dead and your car charger somehow wasn't in your console.)

What if your car just stopped in the middle of the highway?

Or your car won't shut off, even after the key has been taken out the ignition?

Do you know how to change a tire? Check your oil? What about the tire pressure?

This post is mainly directed to the ladies, since I'm a bit biased towards the fellas...in the fact, that I think you ALL should know about what goes on under the hood. (Feel free to debate it. Haha)

So, I've had at least 3 issues with my car since the beginning of the year. I think the first happened on Martin Luther King, Jr. day. I was driving and proceeding to stop at a red light. I stopped, and the car just turned off on me. I was kind of on a hill, so I had to keep my foot on the brake, lest my car back into the car behind me. I wasn't panicking at first. The car was still on, yet off. I don't know, I can't explain it. Like I could still see some lights on (gears and lights on the dash). I started jiggling my keys, trying to start the car back up. I did this for the duration of that red light. And of course, the light would turn back green on me before I got it running again. Smh. Cars were blowing their horns at me, even though I had my emergency blinkers on. Rude. Don't do that. Clearly I couldn't move.

So then I hit PANIC mode. I started crying like a baby, and I called my dad. At that moment, my key jiggling paid off and the car switched back on. I felt real dumb and embarrassed, because I was trying to explain the problem that was a problem no more to my dad. And in the midst of that crying non-sense....lookin' like a punk lol...

The second occurrence happened a little after the first. I was getting ready to leave my house to go somewhere one day, and my key wouldn't fit in the ignition. I tried several times to fit it in there, and it just would not slide in with ease. I was trying to avoid the route in calling my dad. I always call and rely on him to fix my car troubles, and I have had MANY since obtaining my first car in 2006. But I ended up calling him anyway. He told me to just play with the steering wheel a little bit, even though it was locked since the car was off. Lo and behold, that actually did the trick.

Then, yesterday something else happened...on account to one of my many ditzy moments. I had just gotten off work and was parking my car in my driveway, and the key wouldn't turn back so I could turn the car completely off. Ugh! Not again, I thought. I kept taking the key out, and the radio was still playing and the interior lights remained on. The car was off, but I got my dad on the phone again. He was at work, so he called my uncle to come over and look at it.

I always hate those moments when someone can fix something so FAST, after you've been struggling for awhile to fix it yourself. And that's what happened when my uncle came over. He simply turned the key back (it didn't work immediately), but he did it again and the car turned off. I felt stupid, and he was probably wondering what the big deal was....lol

However, I drove to Bible study about a half hour later. I parked my car there, and the car still didn't turn off. Really?! I called one of my guy friends from church, and his dad came out to examine my car. He couldn't get it to shut off. So, I was glad that someone understood what I was talking about. I was not making this up! lol...Still, within a few minutes, my friend's dad got the car to shut off. He said my gear wasn't all the way in Park. I was confused, because clearly it was.

Apparently my cup (which was a little too big for my cup holder) was the cause of this whole ordeal. SMH!

The gear wasn't all the way in Park because the cup was in the way. Wow. I felt embarrassed once again...a cup caused this whole scene? Really?

I've got to learn more about vehicles, man. I'm tired of being that clumsy, scatterbrained girl. And I definitely don't want to be crying like a baby anymore over a car.

I took a step forward this week in taking care of my car. I took it to the car wash, and I rarely ever do that. Ya gotta start somewhere, right. And now, I'm really excited to take it back there on a regular basis. Call me a dork, I'm used to it. Haha!

I need to stop jumping in and out of my car, but actually give it time to warm up. The weather has just been too amazing outside, so I'm not sure if the car really needs to "warm up," but taking care of what I have is key to what I will have next.

To whom much is given, much is required.

I need to repent...

So I'm sitting here at like 1 am leaning over my Bible reading Isaiah 61 and crying my eyes out. (For real.) That chapter is entitled "The Year of the Lord's Favor." I've read this chapter before but of course if you are a regular Bible reader then you know that no verse always sounds the same. There's new revelation just waiting to be revealed. As I continuously questioned God about who I am, He sent me to this chapter. 

So as I was sitting here reading this I asked God "how can I possibly get there?" It's good to know that He has called me for a purpose and that's something I've never questioned because I've always known. But I asked Him, God how will I ever get there!? Is there anything holding me up?

As I pondered this question over and over, I felt the spirit of God tell me that I've ALLOWED people to put me in a box. That is all too true because I have. No one has experienced all the gifts God has blessed me with because I'm still learning more about them myself. But I think about moments I've done some form of ministry and afterwards someone will usually say, "I didn't know you had all that in you!?" Although I'm sure it's meant as a compliment, sometimes I want to snap back with a "Of course you didn't! Because you don't really know me!"

I don't mean it in a self righteous way but when people say that, what I really hear is "Woah! You've stepped out of that box I had you locked in!" I guess because I've always been slow to speak and more observant than extra talkative, people equate that to only being able to accomplish certain tasks. But based off of what God has called me to do, He revealed to me that those very qualities is what will bring HIM glory. It won't be deniable, that it is truly the Spirit of God that is flowing through me and not my own power.

As a teenager, I would do speaking engagements and I would never tell anyone. Because I was tired of hearing, "I didn't know you could do that!" I didn't like that it was such a big deal. I remember thinking "why is it THAT surprising? lol The holy spirit can use anyone." So instead of hearing that, I would just keep it to myself. (And close family members of course.)

But what God revealed to me was this, I've been ashamed of my anointing. Talk about an unexpected answer! lol Everyone is anointed for something, but the very things I've been anointed to do are the very things that I've wanted to hide. I guess that's why the anointing chooses us and we don't choose the anointing. I REALLY dislike attention. But I've realized that the last year or so, God has unexpectedly put me on display with little control on my part.

For example, I wrote a blog a while ago about going to an open mic to do a poem, getting on stage and ending up preaching hahahaha "Who was that????" Crazy thing is I didn't want to sit down. It took me back to being a little kid, teenager, even now as a young adult (lol) preaching in the mirror with a hairbrush. I remember thinking "God no one was suppose to REALLY see that!" And even getting put on the spot to do spoken word at a conference. (As I sat chilling in the back only to be called to the front.)

The anointing God has placed on my life will require me to step out. And I've realized I'm not 100 percent comfortable with that. Some people JUST WANT TO BE SEEN. That is so not me lol I remember sharing with one of my big brothers about one of the assignments God requires of me and he said, "How do you REALLY feel about that?" (Now realizing that his emphasis on REALLY was an indicator that he knew something I had yet to find out.) And I answered, "it's cool", not knowing that the assignment would require more than what I had prepared to offer.

(I hope yall appreciate my transparency because this is new to me lol And I'm being extra real but I was led to share.)

So the chapter that God led me to in Isaiah gave me much needed encouragement. I do understand however that just being aware of gifts doesn't put you in a position to use it ASAP. Operating out of a premature gift can cause havoc. You need wisdom and understanding before you can properly FLOW so of course certain areas need patience.

So I say all this to say, do not allow the "box" that people will OFTEN try to place you in become your own personal jail. You can convince yourself that that's where you are comfortable and should be, when truly that's not where you belong. Although people will have opinions about you based on what they've grown accustomed to, they don't really know YOU. They only know what you're hiding behind. And the real you is still working its way through the disguise (Talking to myself) I'm just humbled that God wants to use me. How selfish of me to hide such a blessing. "You will be used for things far beyond what you believe you qualify for!"

I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF THE ANOINTING!

Well anyway, Bless God!

I'm out. I'm about to go pray and repent lol For real.

Peace.

Tyler Perry Inspiration

This is so inspiring, and I just wanted to share it with you. A lot of people have mixed opinions of Tyler Perry, but the man has always been an inspiration to me. Enjoy, and take heed to what he's saying.

Grounded For A Lil Bit

Yep, I'm putting my own self on punishment. Sounds silly, but I can be my worst distraction...my worst enemy...my greatest fear...my biggest obstacle. No one else has to interfere with my progress. It's just me. Maybe you feel the same in your own life?

So, I've decided to just go on punishment for a lil bit...not sure if it will work, since my parents would ground me for getting bad grades when I was younger (i.e. no TV, no video games, etc.) but my grades wouldn't improve. I would just find something else to entertain myself.

I'm just tired of how everything's flowing in my life right now. I'm falling behind in my school work, and I'm getting to that nonchalant stage again...like I don't even care anymore. Just let me find a 9-5 like the regular people and build success from that. Just let me be average and live my life in the expected fashion.

However, I know I'm called to do and be greater than average. We all are. So, I can't keep putting in a below average effort. This goes for everything in my life---from cleanliness to time management to obtaining and maintaining some form of academic excellence. I may not like school, but that is the position that I'm currently holding until I'm pushed to something greater. Plus, if I play my cards right and all my necessary classes are offered this Summer and Fall, I could be walking across a stage DONE with the madness. :-)

Anywho...back to this self-inflicted punishment lol....

Time to cut Facebook and Twitter out for awhile (or at least until I get some stuff done). It is the BIGGEST time waster!!! I can't even tell you how many times I checked my FB on my phone today! Ugh! Too many! And I had soooo much other stuff I could've been doing with my time.

And a couple weeks ago, I downloaded Bejeweled Blitz on my phone. BIGGEST mistake! I can't stay off that thing! I'm always trying to beat my high score, while 1-2 hrs pass like it's nothing. Smh...I talked to my brother Sunday, and he told me to start playing this other game Temple Run. Ughhh! I do not need anything else to take up my precious time. And time is our most precious commodity.

So, I'm seriously about to take some action. If nothing changes, nothing changes. And nothing will ever change until you are so sick and tired of how things are going in your life, that you literally demand a change to sweep over your old habits and tired ways.

Unlike Chelsea, I'm not ashamed to let you into my world (my room) and show you how I've been living...lol... I mean, yea, it is quite embarrassing but that's more motivation for me to clean up entirely.

Peep the Bible in the midst. Yes, I was sitting right there reading it. Haha

Still need to invest in a laundry basket or just force my little fingers to fold my threads.

 My bathroom has come a LONG way since previous postings. Just need to sweep up my curly q's more often...

Not sure how long my hiatus from my current distractions will last, but I know I just need to get some stuff DONE. I need to focus on one thing at a time, and stop allowing my mind and surroundings to be cluttered. That could be a reason as to why I feel drained creatively. Spring Cleaning may be coming a little early this year...pertaining to the mind, body, soul, and ENVIRONMENT! :-)