Tyler Perry Inspiration

This is so inspiring, and I just wanted to share it with you. A lot of people have mixed opinions of Tyler Perry, but the man has always been an inspiration to me. Enjoy, and take heed to what he's saying.

Why wholeness is important

I'm not a relationship counselor but I'm led to share this...

A while back I wrote a list of the things that are negotiable and the things that aren't. Every so often I take the list out and make tweaks and adjustments based on newer revelations and greater wisdom. One of the main things I realized is if you don't know what you want, then there's no need to expect it yet. I read a book a while back entitled, "Before you do." It had a very extensive list of questions that everyone should ask their potential interest.

I read that probably about three years ago and while going through the questions, I remembered many of them I couldn't answer myself. So that made me realize the importance of being whole before entering a relationship. Otherwise, you open yourself up to be manipulated and taken advantage of. A lot of people who end up with low self-esteem allowed a person to tell them who they were and then they actually believed it. If you wait until you're whole to let someone in, you already know who you are and won't be persuaded to think otherwise.

TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT

That may seem harsh but in reality, when you're a whole person and know who you are, that's not too hard to say when you come across a person that just isn't quite up to par. That's where your list comes in handy. If you already have made up in your mind what you refuse to settle for, if someone doesn't meet the standard then you have no problem letting them know they are not for you. For example, let's say you definitely want children and that is on your list of non-negotiables. But IN walks this incredibly handsome, educated man of God that seems to have it all together. After "the talk" he says he doesn't want any kids. Now someone who does not have a firm foundation will say, "Hmm, I know he doesn't want children but he is ALMOST to good to be true. Maybe he'll change his mind. He's interested so I better go for it." Now someone who has a firm foundation will say, "He's handsome and educated but he just does not meet the standard. To the left, to the left." That's a woman who knows what she wants and refuses to settle.

My bishop has said in the past that you shouldn't look at where a person currently is but you should look at their potential. Now I definitely agree with that but one thing that's also important is that the person also knows their own potential. Otherwise you're in the mode of "transformer," meaning the "I can change them" mindset. NEGATIVE! Most people will aim as far as they can see. If they can't seem themselves higher or further then they won't strive for it. If ambitious is on your list of non-negotiables then a person with a tainted self image or lack of drive may need more time to work on themselves.

Now certain things, I feel might be a stretch. You shouldn't be expecting the perfect person, otherwise you'll be disappointed. But I feel that God will reveal certain characteristics that will help you know when "the one" has appeared. But you should also have discernment and know enough about yourself to know when "the one" hasn't. Patience is key to getting what you really desire. The enemy doesn't want an ordained union so many times he'll send distractions. Some that look and act like "the promise" and some that don't. But patience is one of the things that separate the wolves from the sheep. A wolf can only stay in sheep's' clothing for so long before their "wolfy" characteristics surface. So how mature is your discernment?

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek Him in order to find it."

That's one of my favorite quotes. My mom always told me it's important for a young lady to have tunnel vision, meaning that you're so focused on God that when someone does appear, you're in a mindset of "OK so who sent you?" Not in a rude or negative way but in a "I'm focused and don't want my time wasted so if you are who you say you are, show me before I let you in" kind of way. The closer Ive gotten to focus, the more I understand it. The more I understand it, the more I realize the importance of knowing who you are in Christ FIRST. Opportunities will present themselves but when you have a solid relationship with God, you know when someone is helping that relationship or when they're hindering it. An addition should make life better. Don't add a person that subtracts your progress.

It seems like a lot but in reality, God has asked for our hearts, males and females. Not just part of our hearts but the whole thing. When God knows we have trusted Him with every part of ourselves, he knows He can bless us with "the one" and we won't forget our FIRST love. We'll know who we are and won't believe anyone but God. Don't settle for whose available just because they're available or settle for someone who doesn't have the characteristics on your non negotiable list. But recognize when you're still in the molding phase, when you and God are secluded in your own private place. When distractions have no chance and your heart aches with love for Jesus alone. THAT'S where He wants us. So that when "the one" does appear, it may not be perfect but it'll be a solid relationship of THREE, a non destroyable foundation.

Take Away My Boy-Crazies!

Heyyy-loo!

So, I've been trying to get in the habit of blogging daily since this is a day by day journey to become the woman I'm meant to be (whether I'm married or single). Yea, that's not going as planned but I'm aiming to be better.

Warning: This posting may be random. So many random thoughts, feelings, emotions running wild in my head.

I think I'm just a tad bit boy-crazy, but it's SO unintentional. Sometimes I feel that I have at least two separate relationships with random guys going on in my head. I wonder if it's lust. I don't really think about these two guys unless I see them, and then my mind starts to wander and create a fictional relationship/fantasy. Note: These aren't nasty, graphic, sexual fantasies. It's just simple stuff: good conversation, smiling, laughing, spontaneous dates, playing with our fictional kids (haha), etc.

Tonight, I ran into this guy I guess I used to "talk" to (but not really). The whole situation was RANDOM! I want to, but I just can't stop analyzing the situation. It's probably nothing more than a distraction to get me off course, but still....why was he at the same event I was? Why did I have to see him? Why did we have to talk? Hmm, I wonder what he's up to? Should I give him my number again so we can reconnect and catch up? Ugh!! I just wish it never happened. I feel frazzled for no reason. (Like that word? Haha!) Then I got home and sadly, I stooped low to the position of a Facebook stalker. 

Before tonight, I had never been able to find him on Facebook. I never knew his full name, just a nickname he went by. He was also from New York, so of course, that would've been a pain trying to find him. But I did find him. How, you ask? Being super nosy! Smh...! But even then, his page was all blocked from the public so I couldn't really spy like I wanted to. This is not Godly. I should be smacked! lol

I need to stop having imaginary relationships with dudes I don't even talk to on the regular. These guys probably don't know the first thing about me for real. God will make it possible if it's meant to be. No need in trying to chase someone who ain't the real thing. 

But it was just so random though! I can't get off that. Hopefully, I go to sleep and forget I saw him. And, hopefully I don't see the other two guys anytime soon. Or if I do, I need the strength and wisdom to be able to look the other way and/or be busy about something, ANYTHING!

This is NOT the time to let my mind wander. Time to get and Stay focused! Recognize a distraction when it appears randomly.

One of the many goals of Project Wifey is to direct us to a place where we become so busy about our purpose and destiny that we're not even thinking about a relationship. I believe that some things come when you're NOT looking for it---including relationships.

So, let's get busy about WHY we're here on this Earth. Sure, a marriage may be linked into that. But, let's not make it a primary focus. More soon....