Grounded For A Lil Bit

Yep, I'm putting my own self on punishment. Sounds silly, but I can be my worst distraction...my worst enemy...my greatest fear...my biggest obstacle. No one else has to interfere with my progress. It's just me. Maybe you feel the same in your own life?

So, I've decided to just go on punishment for a lil bit...not sure if it will work, since my parents would ground me for getting bad grades when I was younger (i.e. no TV, no video games, etc.) but my grades wouldn't improve. I would just find something else to entertain myself.

I'm just tired of how everything's flowing in my life right now. I'm falling behind in my school work, and I'm getting to that nonchalant stage again...like I don't even care anymore. Just let me find a 9-5 like the regular people and build success from that. Just let me be average and live my life in the expected fashion.

However, I know I'm called to do and be greater than average. We all are. So, I can't keep putting in a below average effort. This goes for everything in my life---from cleanliness to time management to obtaining and maintaining some form of academic excellence. I may not like school, but that is the position that I'm currently holding until I'm pushed to something greater. Plus, if I play my cards right and all my necessary classes are offered this Summer and Fall, I could be walking across a stage DONE with the madness. :-)

Anywho...back to this self-inflicted punishment lol....

Time to cut Facebook and Twitter out for awhile (or at least until I get some stuff done). It is the BIGGEST time waster!!! I can't even tell you how many times I checked my FB on my phone today! Ugh! Too many! And I had soooo much other stuff I could've been doing with my time.

And a couple weeks ago, I downloaded Bejeweled Blitz on my phone. BIGGEST mistake! I can't stay off that thing! I'm always trying to beat my high score, while 1-2 hrs pass like it's nothing. Smh...I talked to my brother Sunday, and he told me to start playing this other game Temple Run. Ughhh! I do not need anything else to take up my precious time. And time is our most precious commodity.

So, I'm seriously about to take some action. If nothing changes, nothing changes. And nothing will ever change until you are so sick and tired of how things are going in your life, that you literally demand a change to sweep over your old habits and tired ways.

Unlike Chelsea, I'm not ashamed to let you into my world (my room) and show you how I've been living...lol... I mean, yea, it is quite embarrassing but that's more motivation for me to clean up entirely.

Peep the Bible in the midst. Yes, I was sitting right there reading it. Haha

Still need to invest in a laundry basket or just force my little fingers to fold my threads.

 My bathroom has come a LONG way since previous postings. Just need to sweep up my curly q's more often...

Not sure how long my hiatus from my current distractions will last, but I know I just need to get some stuff DONE. I need to focus on one thing at a time, and stop allowing my mind and surroundings to be cluttered. That could be a reason as to why I feel drained creatively. Spring Cleaning may be coming a little early this year...pertaining to the mind, body, soul, and ENVIRONMENT! :-)

Distractions Just Love Me

--distraction #65, you so fine you blow my mind--


Maybe it's just me, but distractions just love me.

Every time I think that I've finally regained focus on the important thing of that moment, here comes Mr. Distraction. And of course, he's always fineeeee and charming. Or his swag was just on point, as the young folks would say lol

Here's my story with distractions of the male persuasion.

They come, and then they *POOF* disappear. Literally. I have SO many instances of guys that came in my life for a brief moment, and then quietly exited stage left. In the early instances of this, it would upset me. I didn't understand. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Why doesn't he want to talk to me anymore?

I mean, it was real triflin. A simple "I don't wish to speak to you anymore," would've done the trick. But no, these guys that I had been talking to via text and on the phone just straight up vanished. Then, there's the distractions that I was kinda feelin' a bit. That maybe if given the chance, they could have been more. But they disappeared as well.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern. I might not be the reason for their sudden escape, but I think God has been protecting me from a broken heart. I think He is aware that these carbon copies of THE ONE are only distractions to keep me from fulfilling my purpose and reaching my divine destiny.

Distractions tend to come when we are doing the right thing. When we are staying in our lane and pushing vision (s), that's when the wolf dressed in sheep's clothing tries to lure us off the path. I'm getting much better at recognizing a distraction before my emotions get involved.

Why wholeness is important

I'm not a relationship counselor but I'm led to share this...

A while back I wrote a list of the things that are negotiable and the things that aren't. Every so often I take the list out and make tweaks and adjustments based on newer revelations and greater wisdom. One of the main things I realized is if you don't know what you want, then there's no need to expect it yet. I read a book a while back entitled, "Before you do." It had a very extensive list of questions that everyone should ask their potential interest.

I read that probably about three years ago and while going through the questions, I remembered many of them I couldn't answer myself. So that made me realize the importance of being whole before entering a relationship. Otherwise, you open yourself up to be manipulated and taken advantage of. A lot of people who end up with low self-esteem allowed a person to tell them who they were and then they actually believed it. If you wait until you're whole to let someone in, you already know who you are and won't be persuaded to think otherwise.

TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT

That may seem harsh but in reality, when you're a whole person and know who you are, that's not too hard to say when you come across a person that just isn't quite up to par. That's where your list comes in handy. If you already have made up in your mind what you refuse to settle for, if someone doesn't meet the standard then you have no problem letting them know they are not for you. For example, let's say you definitely want children and that is on your list of non-negotiables. But IN walks this incredibly handsome, educated man of God that seems to have it all together. After "the talk" he says he doesn't want any kids. Now someone who does not have a firm foundation will say, "Hmm, I know he doesn't want children but he is ALMOST to good to be true. Maybe he'll change his mind. He's interested so I better go for it." Now someone who has a firm foundation will say, "He's handsome and educated but he just does not meet the standard. To the left, to the left." That's a woman who knows what she wants and refuses to settle.

My bishop has said in the past that you shouldn't look at where a person currently is but you should look at their potential. Now I definitely agree with that but one thing that's also important is that the person also knows their own potential. Otherwise you're in the mode of "transformer," meaning the "I can change them" mindset. NEGATIVE! Most people will aim as far as they can see. If they can't seem themselves higher or further then they won't strive for it. If ambitious is on your list of non-negotiables then a person with a tainted self image or lack of drive may need more time to work on themselves.

Now certain things, I feel might be a stretch. You shouldn't be expecting the perfect person, otherwise you'll be disappointed. But I feel that God will reveal certain characteristics that will help you know when "the one" has appeared. But you should also have discernment and know enough about yourself to know when "the one" hasn't. Patience is key to getting what you really desire. The enemy doesn't want an ordained union so many times he'll send distractions. Some that look and act like "the promise" and some that don't. But patience is one of the things that separate the wolves from the sheep. A wolf can only stay in sheep's' clothing for so long before their "wolfy" characteristics surface. So how mature is your discernment?

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek Him in order to find it."

That's one of my favorite quotes. My mom always told me it's important for a young lady to have tunnel vision, meaning that you're so focused on God that when someone does appear, you're in a mindset of "OK so who sent you?" Not in a rude or negative way but in a "I'm focused and don't want my time wasted so if you are who you say you are, show me before I let you in" kind of way. The closer Ive gotten to focus, the more I understand it. The more I understand it, the more I realize the importance of knowing who you are in Christ FIRST. Opportunities will present themselves but when you have a solid relationship with God, you know when someone is helping that relationship or when they're hindering it. An addition should make life better. Don't add a person that subtracts your progress.

It seems like a lot but in reality, God has asked for our hearts, males and females. Not just part of our hearts but the whole thing. When God knows we have trusted Him with every part of ourselves, he knows He can bless us with "the one" and we won't forget our FIRST love. We'll know who we are and won't believe anyone but God. Don't settle for whose available just because they're available or settle for someone who doesn't have the characteristics on your non negotiable list. But recognize when you're still in the molding phase, when you and God are secluded in your own private place. When distractions have no chance and your heart aches with love for Jesus alone. THAT'S where He wants us. So that when "the one" does appear, it may not be perfect but it'll be a solid relationship of THREE, a non destroyable foundation.

My Week Recap...

Hello beautiful people!


I know, I know...I'm slacking! Blahhh lol...Side Note:  Where is my co-host Chelsea??? She hasn't written in ages...boooo! Oh well, the show must go on! :)


This week was the week of Mother's Day.  That day was pretty fun.  My family and I took my mom out to this new Italian restaurant in my town.  That was a different change of pace.  Usually if we want Italian, we hit up Olive Garden or something.  I can't remember the name of the place...I think it was the word "flavors" in Italian.  Anyway, it was definitely tasty and I enjoyed the family time.


Even though it was Mother's Day, I felt like I spent a huge chunk of time with my dad.  I will admit that I am a "daddy's girl."  I just love him!  


I guess for the past few years I have been meaning to plant a garden with my grandpa (dad's father), since he was a beast when it came to stuff like that.  He would plant cucumbers, tomatoes, salad, and even apples.  I was really looking forward to this Spring so he could show me the ropes to gardening.  Unfortunately, he passed away at the ripe age of 91 this past December. Even in his absence, I was determined to keep his legacy alive somehow.

In March, I bought a few seeds from Lowe's to start my garden off--cucumber, squash, corn.  This was a project my dad and I were going to work on.  We'd been putting it off quite a bit until Mother's Day afternoon.  Finally, though, I learned a few basics to gardening.  It was a very nice day outside, perfect weather!  I will post pictures up when stuff starts sprouting out the ground.  I'm excited!!  My dad is supposed to be planting some onions and tomatoes as well.  Have you ever tried fried green tomatoes?? Ummm, YUM!  They are so good!! My dad introduced me to these a few years ago.  If you add sugar, they are sooooo bum!!! Yummy!  I want some like...now! haha...and what about cucumbers soaked in vinegar?? Perfect summer snack!  I don't know how healthy that is, but I'm not one of those chicks counting their carbs.  I'm not stuffing my face with lard and grease either.  I believe in moderation. I am getting to the point where I want to eat healthier, but I'm not giving up my sugary cereals or my Sweet Frog/icecream addiction.  At least not yet. :)

Moving on......


Let's talk about DISTRACTIONS for a quick minute. Without going into great detail, just know that I was temporarily distracted sometime this week by a certain someone.  


It's CRAZYYY how distractions will just appear when you are on the right track to finally getting your stuff together.  That's what happened to me. I was at work one day this week, thinking of a storyline to write when I got home.  (I like writing fictional stories/poems, fyi. Maybe I'll give you all a sneak peak soon.)  But man, I was so focused and couldn't wait to get home and write out all my ideas.  I was gonna get me some Sweet Frog, relax, and write! write! write! However....


A certain person distracted me that day.  I'm sure that was not their intent, since I know they truly want the best for me (no matter what others may think).  But, they were being a distraction nonetheless. [And yea, enough on that situation, ahem...]


Distractions can come in many shapes, sizes, and forms.  People can be a distraction to your purpose and your goals, so watch the company that you keep.  Seriously, not everyone is FOR you.  There are people out there praying for your demise and failure.  


Note: When attacks/distractions are coming at you like nobody's business, it usually means that YOU are doing something right.  So, take joy in that. Keep on keeping on.