I Just Want A Man!!!!

I've officially been single for almost two and a half years. When I first broke up with my ex, I think I forgot how to be single. I had serious urges to text/call him frequently throughout the day. I didn't know what to do with myself; everything I did included him. I didn't have a clue how to be by MYSELF and continue to enjoy life.


I believe everyone goes through a "broken heart" phase. If no one has broken your heart in a relationship, at least ONE person on this earth has disappointed you in some shape or form. When you're hurt in that way, you do everything you can think of to get back to your "HAPPY PLACE."


I was forced in a position to pray. I mean, I already "prayed" less than 5 min a day...while spending a huge chunk of time everyday doing everything and nothing with him. It's a terrible feeling to have someone (who you thought "loved" you), step out on you with some other chick. This was my first H E A R T B R E A K. At the time, I didn't know how I would make it or get through. It's silly now, but I actually thought of committing suicide over this guy. Crazy!!! 


*DON'T EVER LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING PUSH YOU TO THAT LEVEL!*


Anywho, back to my point....everyone deals with heartbreak differently. I was down to my lowest point, so seeking God for help and getting back in the swing of daily prayer did it for me. Before I knew it, I was out of that depression/suicidal phase. I got involved with a couple new activities, met new people, and began on the journey to finding ME! (I'm still on this journey, as we speak...). 


So, I mentioned earlier that it's been almost TWO and a HALF YEARS, and I'm still single!! Uhhhhh....where's my man?! I need him like NOW! I just want someone to hold me sometimes. Can I get a cuddle every now and then? I wanna laugh in someone's face, get goo goo eyes, and feel the flutter of butterflies when they come around. And to be honest, I miss kissing all the time. lol...


                 I JUST WANT A MAN! That's it. Sometimes I think I want a man so much, that I'm almost willing to settle. But something inside tells me to hold on just a little while longer. The best is still yet to come!


There's SO much stuff I gotta get straight in my own life. I don't merely want a relationship based on physical attraction. All the beauty and sexiness is gonna fade, get lumpy, dry, rusty, and crusty in a few (haha) so I don't even want it based on that. All of that is just whipped cream on the cake! (I don't like cherries.) To be continued...

Why are you empty??

Long time no talk FOLKS!


Well this is my first official blog and I feel led to talk about a certain topic, RELATIONSHIPS.
I often wonder why so many women need to be validated by a male. It frustrates me and often makes me wonder why so many don't know better. Validation by PEOPLE is truly a path to remaining unsatisfied.

I was feeling some type of way tonight about this topic. And when I reached out to Candice, she encouraged me to blog. So here I am...

I feel that some people will do whatever it takes to have a relationship with someone except work on themselves to be whole. Instead of making that step, they go to the ends of the earth to find someone who will FIX the problem instead of taking the initiative to fix it themselves.

I guess what it all boils down to is insecurity and although the actions of an insecure person can make you mad (i.e implanting thoughts in your mind to cause chaos or manipulating a situation) I've decided what is needed most is to spend some time praying for them and their situation.

In a way, I guess I can relate. I remember daydreaming about wen I'll be in love or in a relationship. I would fantasize over being married and different relationships I've seen in movies or real life and longed for that connection. But it seems some go to much greater heights than just fantasizing.

I have no clue where this is going or coming from but I'll continue...

WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WILLING TO COMPROMISE???

Is it just me or does the world consist of so many people who SETTLE. (Uh oh, I just said a bad word lol) Settling is one of the WORST things you can do. You hinder yourself and it's a representation of what you think of yourself. As a Christian, I've been taught that some things are NOT under negotiation. So why are so many people willing to settle for whoever wants them?? Where are the standards?? It's frustrating.

When you love yourself and are secure in who you are, you want nothing but the best. I believe God has promised all of us something. And the very top priority on our "promise list" should not be who you will marry. POINT BLANK PERIOD. You owe it to God and yourself to work on YOU, be complete and validated by the only ONE who has the right to validate you, GOD.

I just can't stand the bad rep BEING SINGLE gets. It bothers me the lengths that people will go to find someone and get in a relationship. It seems many live by the saying "whatever it takes." The people they are willing to step over or push to the side, the way they strategically target who they want and allow their emotions to take control and the way they play the "game" to manipulate the hearts of people around them. Satan is having a joyride and enjoying every minute!

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.

Live completely while single so you won't live BROKEN in a relationship. Be fulfilled alone so you won't be empty with company. And above ALL else, don't compromise. Patience is a virtue. And being single is a blessing. If you can't focus enough to work on yourself while single, you definitely won't be able to when you add someone else to the picture. Just something to think about.

I'm grateful to know that. And I hope and pray that more people will get that revelation. You can't be someone else's wife, until you get your own life! Do yourself, your future mate, and family a favor and heal the wounds, fill the voids, purify your heart and seek wholeness before you attach yourself to a person. That's the only way to be completely and permanently fulfilled. A relationship to HEAL wounds will ultimately create a relationship that causes deeper ones.

Convicted Much?

Wow, I just want to say how thankful I am to God for giving me a pastor that doesn't just tell the congregation Bible stories every week. I'm thankful that my pastor hears directly from God and speaks what is most necessary for the people at that specific moment in their lives. It's just sooo funny how he was all up in my life tonight at Bible study.


All the mental crap and depressing thoughts that had been racing through my mind this past week was all confirmed to be nothing but the ENEMY (devil) trying to trip me up so I would lose focus. I'm telling you, the 
mind is definitely something that needs to be trained. You have to monitor what you see with your EYES and what you hear with your EARS, because it ultimately leads to a dwelling spot in your mind.


My problem this week and in the past when the enemy would put random, questionable, depressing thoughts in my head was: I just let him. Yea, I would allow all his negativity to just seep into my mind and heart until I suddenly began thinking that I was worthless and living was now pointless. L I E S !! 

That's all the devil does is lie. He's the father of lies, and some of us are just so naive to believe him (myself included). So, here are some key points I learned tonight for defeating the enemy:

• Don't just remain mute, while the enemy is putting contrary thoughts in your head.
• Your mouth is a weapon, so USE it! 
• Saturate your thinking with TRUTH (the Bible)
• Stay away from an empty mind; fill your mind with the right stuff beneficial to your spirit.

~Your ATTITUDE determines your ALTITUDE.~

Check out the link to my church...Mt. Gilead Full Gospel International Ministries, Richmond VA http://thebalmingilead.org/welcome.htm

*It has the potential to change your life...changed mine*

Alone and Sometimes...Lonely

Ever felt alone in a room full of people?  Ever felt alone even in your own household? What about that feeling of being the "odd man out?" I know I have---too many times. I've been classified as: quiet, shy, weird, stuck up, anti, etc. by people who really don't know me. I guess the image I project would prove all those accusations to be true. But the truth is...

I am a pretty quiet person, UNTIL I know you well enough to be vulnerable. I'm definitely NOT stuck up.  I'm just a girl that would like to be genuinely included in something and/or others' lives.  I don't want to be tolerated or only recognized out of a feeling of obligation. I know I can be a great friend to many but sadly, I haven't been so bold to create the friendships I desire throughout my life.

I had the best group friendship encounters from 2009-2010. I just felt so great, like wow! So, this is what having friends feels like. That sounded dorky and almost as if I was a loner before 2009. I wasn't really a loner, but I often felt left out because I had been judged as the "weird, quiet girl" for most of my life. I had a few friends and acquaintances here and there, but never such a closeness as I found with the ladies I befriended in the summer of '09. 

It's funny how a year changed that whole scene. I learned last year that people really do come in and out of your life for seasons and reasons. I was left with one consistent true friend from that bunch, Chels. I feel blessed that I have at least one friend in the world PLUS my family, because being alone and lonely sucks. I still wish I had a nice group of at least 2 more close girlfriends. (Sorry, I don't think I know how to be "just friends" with a guy right now. My mind would be in the clouds...ha!) I just really need and desire stable, consistent friends---friends that share my morals, bring newness to my life, and have the ability to bring out the best in me and vice versa.  

As I mentioned on my previous posting, this week/weekend was just weird. I got hit with a plague of loneliness mixed with emptiness inside, but I didn't really let it show outwardly. I was hit with this "plague" a  few times last year, and I believe those were growing points where God was breaking me so I could be more like He created me to be. I'm sensing that is the case this time around as well, because I know I will be drawing near to Him soon for answers and comfort. To be continued....

Weird Week...

This week has definitely been a weird week for me.  First, I kept constantly waking up in the middle of the night choking (yea, scary).  My doctor later told me I was probably dealing with acid reflux.  I didn't even know what that was; I'd heard of it.  But after taking the pills the doctor gave me, I was fine.


However, I was immediately struck with all these cold/flu symptoms: sore throat, runny/stuffed nose, and just feeling super cold and/or hot.


Then one day, I just woke up feeling empty.  Like, nothing matters anymore. Like, I was scared to live/scared to die. I just felt "down" inside, even though on the outside I appeared to be my usual self...just a little sickly.


So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and this blog. I've been thinking of how "busy" I've been lately, and how God just seems sooo far away in the midst of my so-called "busy" life.  My relationship with Him seems too stale right now. Probably because I often just give Him drive-bys of my time. (That could be a primary reason why I'm feeling empty). I'm guilty of putting my friends, family, money, jobs, school, success, and other desires over Him. He's the most important part of my being, but I leave Him on the shelf most days and only talk to Him for less than 5 min a day. Sad.


Yea, changes need to take place and sacrifices need to be made starting today.  I think I will watch Passion of the Christ later, just to be reminded of the price that was paid for me.  I need to fall back in love with Jesus and stop worrying about silly things.  This scripture has been on REPEAT in my mind.

Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Matthew 6:33-34 (The Message)

To be honest, it wasn't really my goal to get all spiritual on this Project Wifey blog.  I really had no intention of putting any scriptures up here or getting all gushy over God. But that's crazy and a shame, because I AM a Christian and Jesus CAN be EVERYTHING to me and YOU if we let Him.  I'm still learning a lot about that, and I guess this is what the blog is about.

I have no set agenda for this; I just want and need to be whole.  So, maybe first things first. I need to seek the help and assistance of GOD before anyone or anything!  He is the source of my joy and peace.

As I mentioned in my last post, I think I'm in another position to be broken. It hurts a little right now, and a lot of things don't make sense.  However, I know it's all working for my good....back to sleep now. haha...oh, and pick up Kirk Franklin's latest CD HELLO FEAR. It's working wonders for me in my "blahhh" state...

So Many Problems, Man

Yea, I've been slacking on this blog already. Smh....but that's a major issue in my life--SLACKING!  I feel like I've done it all my life.  When I started college, that's when it hit the hardest.  All of a sudden it was OK to skip classes and do a half-way job on homework and assignments.  One time, I purposely missed a test because I was running about 10 min late to class and didn't want to walk in late in front of my hundreds of peers.  Yea, not cool.


I drop at least one class a semester, and it's always after the cut-off date where you can get refunded.  I've wasted so much money on classes; I can't stand thinking about how much I will owe when I finally graduate (if I do).  My career aspirations have switched from becoming a pediatrician to dentist to orthodontist to elementary school teacher, to some job an Associate's in Business Admin can fulfill, and now the winner is Journalism.  For now.


I'm so flip-floppish, all over the place.  My life is a pure mess.  Yes, pure.


I have two credit cards, which I'm struggling to pay the minimum payments on.  I'm working two jobs, and I think I'm over both of them.  *However, I am very thankful that I have not just one job but TWO.* The interior of my car, room, and bathroom are just disgusting.  Just trashy.


My time management is horrible.  I'm late to EVERYTHING! Church, work, school, social events.  I try to be better, but I don't know how.


I stay up til around 2am nearly every night, not partying or out & about around town....just awake.


I'm the Queen of Procrastination, so that affects nearly every other area in my life from progressing.  It's pretty sad when I think about everything I've procrastinated on in life.  I should be farther in life than I am right now.  This May, I should be on the verge of graduating from college with a Bachelor's in something.  But noooo, I just had to be a "confused with life" and "I don't know who or what I'm supposed to be or do" slacker.


Yea, I'm upset with myself.  I often go to bed unsatisfied with what I haven't accomplished, and I awake sometimes with that same unsatisfaction mixed in with the hope that the day will be different.  I feel like I watch the weeks go by, working part-time jobs day in and out and going to school...for what?  When does the "more to life" phase step in?


Excuse the rant...just how I was feeling.  And these words are only a minute representation of what's going on in my head right now.  I'm so mad at myself for so many things.  I would probably be lying if I said I actually loved ME and that I was so confident in myself.  Negative.  I have a lot of work to do to get to that level.  I'm in an Identity Crisis yet again and I feel like I'm on my way to be "broken" once more....

Introducing ME!

Hola! I'm Chelsea but often called Chels. I will say that when Candice came to me with this idea, I was incredibly excited. Being that I was currently on this journey of my own, to know that God had given her a vision was extremely encouraging!


Sooo..let's get to know me a little. I don't really know any other way to say this but I was always the "poster child." I've always gotten good grades, was respectful, and PERFECT. Not really, but you know how that goes. I pretty much let people define me and in their eyes, I could do nothing wrong. But talk about the pressure!

I started off in school majoring in Pre-Med. I was always great at Math and Science so when people told me "Yea you're a doctor." I accepted it as what I was suppose to do. Wrong Choice! haha Coming from a family of alot of ministers, pastors, "church folk," I was very involved with church but by involved, meaning I was there but not THERE. Can somebody say "lukewarm?"

But I am happy to say that eventually I got on track of having a REAL relationship with God and have been going strong for a few years now. And I can't even explain how awesome it is! But one thing I realized is that the person I thought I knew, was really the person that everyone told me I was. And that the REAL me, the person God had predestined me to be, had yet to surface. Then I began the journey of self discovery and everyday I'm more amazed at the things that are being revealed. Who would've thought???

But on top of that, I must become who God intended me to be for His sake, my families sake, and all the people that I'm predestined to cross paths with. Project Wifey is a documentation of becoming the "all around" woman. The ideal woman or man has the qualities that I feel a wife or husband should have. So how important is it to be the person you desire to have in your life. So excited!

Remember to smile alot today!

And The Introductions Continue.....

Hello all!


I'm Candice Victoria and I want to welcome you to my official "Project Wifey" site.  If you've read the first posting, then you learned that this is a journey that two young ladies (my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Chels, and myself) are taking.  Each of us will take turns blogging and v-logging via YouTube, once we get a nice, reliable camera--hopefully within the next couple of months =).


Now what exactly is Project Wifey again??


As of now, it's a blog of self-discovery.  It's a way for us to get our life together, work on ourselves, and become reacquainted with who we really are.


Why the name Project Wifey?


Well, I've been observing relationships all over the world for awhile.  Well, not literally (haha) but... through the media, in high school/college, in the church, in my immediate and extended families, and even a relationship of my own that went sour.


I always wonder WHY there are soooo many divorces going on, especially with celebrities.  You can't even keep up with who's with who now, because as soon as a marriage gets goin', you find out they're splitting up.  And some of these people are divorcing after 15, 18, 20 years of marriage! Like, what the world?


I don't understand why people would invest in such a luxurious wedding if they weren't gonna STAY together. I understand that unforeseen circumstances happen, such as a cheating partner or domestic violence in the relationship, but I'm under the impression that people just get bored! And they go with the notion that, "The grass is greener on the other side."  I don't think these people know who they really are, so they jump into relationship after relationship trying to fill a void that their partner is unable to fill.


People have so many high expectations for their potential mate, but they don't even measure up to their own expectations.  I love this line from Lyfe Jenning's song, "Statistics":

"Be the person you want to find.  Don't be a nickel out here looking for a dime."

So, the name of this blog pretty much came from that statement.  We're trying to be ALL that we expect others to be.  For the ladies: we are developing "wifey" attributes, so when Mr. Right comes along, we are READY and we won't have to go through a long depressing period of, "I don't know who I am!!! ...Or what I like or what I wanna do with my life!!!" lol

For the fellas, don't let the term "wifey" keep you away.  Everyone needs to go on this journey.  You need to know and love yourself before you expect others to dig through your dirty laundry.

Ok, I think I've written enough for tonight.  Sorry, if it sounded like I was all over the place.  I was watching TV, looking at YouTube, and trying to get my thoughts together. Haha...but I'm excitedddd!

Have a good night/morning peeps!

Contact Us

We are always looking for people we can feature! If you're single, engaged, married, or divorced and you would like to be featured on our blog, OR if you have any ideas, questions, suggestions, etc., please email us at projectwifey@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Introducing Project Wifey

I'm sure most people might see Project Wifey written somewhere and think to themselves, "Hmm, this must be about somebody trying to get a man." Well, not quite. Project Wifey is much more than any of that. There is a very important journey that every person must go on, the journey of self discovery. Separations and divorces are so common today. It's easy to blame so many other factors but what's the root of the issue? Is it possible that a lack of self understanding and wholeness between two individual people can cause chaos once the two become one? This will be a journey of two Christian young women who are determined to get all that God has for them during their season of singleness and ultimately striving for the true definition of wholeness.

Candice Victoria

Chels. C