No Right to Judge

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  Matthew 7:1-5

I often feel conviction when I'm around certain people, and the conversation is mostly gossip.  Being a Christian, I have always been taught that gossiping is wrong.  I came to the realization recently that I unintentionally talk about people/bring them down quite often.  I am guilty of being extremely judgmental towards some people from their Facebook profiles/pics, from what I hear about them, and from what I see live.  I often ask for forgiveness from God after leaving an outing with friends, because sometimes I feel that the conversation was mainly about a person or people.  I mean, I have had many very inspiring and uplifting conversations with people.  However, I feel a cringe inside of me when the conversation shifts to the lack that WE see on a certain person (even though I could be a ring leader in the conversation, laughing right along, etc.).  It's wrong to put your mouth on someone, because God has a tendency to use those people that others have thrown out and disregarded.  Just sayin...I'm definitely gonna do better in that department.

I have no right to judge A N Y O N E for any shortcomings, because I have a massive laundry list of my own.  I actually feel ashamed for some of the stuff I've written on this blog, because it just goes to show how much of myself I don't have together.  I constantly try to camouflage my issues with "fluff" to make me happy.  I always catch myself looking to people, places, things, events to fix my problems and hide my pain.  However, that's always no good.  You may get your happy on for a little while, but it doesn't last.  Only joy, my friend.

You must look above to where your help comes from.  It comes from the Lord. I don't know exactly where I'm headed in life.  Maybe you do, and that's great! As for me...umm. Sometimes I feel God is fed up with me, like won't this girl get right already? lol...I'm looking to Him to show me the big picture for my life [the end result], but I just don't think He's gonna reveal it to me just yet.  He has shown me some things, and I'm like, "Ok, what else?  What else?"  But yet, I can't master the few simple things on my plate already.

I'm in school, but I'm the incredible slacker--if I don't feel like going to class, I don't; if I don't feel like doing the work, I won't (I don't know WHERE this attitude came from. I didn't used to be this bad lol).  I can't keep my room clean for a day.  My prayer life is a tad bit inconsistent---long needy prayers one day, short 3 letter sentences the next.  My financial situation--always owing somebody. smh. I don't read the Bible as much as I used to. My inconsistency with this blog--I know it needs to be more than what it is. My hair. My car. My mind and its mindset. My pride. My selfishness.  I have problems haha...

I believe that once I master the hand I've been dealt, a new hand will be given.  To whom much is given, much is required. Stay in your lane. Don't worry about keeping up with the Jones's.  They do not pay your bills or own your soul.  God has a plan for your life.  Be patient.  Don't grow weary.  Encourage yourself.  It may seem weird, but talk to yourself. 

See, Chelsea?  This is what I'm talking about when I write poems.  I start off writing the poem, and then out of nowhere, I preach to myself.  Except it's like a page or two long... lol...nitey nite peeps!   

Everyone Has That Thing...

Hey peeps!


Just letting you know: 1) I have no idea how all my thoughts will flow together tonight/this morning (whatever), 2) I don't know how long this posting or my future postings will be; I will not hold back if I'm in a writing mode. This is pretty much my active journal right now... 3) I started this posting a couple nights ago but never finished it, so my views/thoughts may have changed (but I enjoy blogging and seeing my progress)


I have a bad habit. Like really bad. Like it's a sin, bad. lol...k not really funny. *serious face*


I believe only 1 other person (other than God) knows about it. I'm not going to tell you what it is, and we're definitely not making it a guessing game. [maybe once i get totally set FREE from it :) ]  I don't even know if you can classify this as a "habit," since it's not an everyday thing.  I usually go a couple months, sometimes even 6 months without doing it. But I feel horrible after doing it, like I had the power to not go through with it but...I gave in anyway. smh.


That's what happened twice this week. I did the deed TWICE.  I felt so ashamed, like I let God down.  I mean, God is who I aim to please.  I don't know about you, but when I knowingly do something bad...I just hurt for a little bit (sometimes a couple days) with shame and guilt.  I sometimes cry, and I don't feel worthy of any good thing.


I must've did that thing earlier this week, because I kept thinking about it for a couple days.  It felt like a "sadness" spell was coming on---one of those things where in my mind, living & dying are equally the most scariest things EVER at the moment.  I was also inching towards sadness because if I had stayed in college at ODU doing a regular 4-yr plan, I would be graduating next Saturday with a degree in my hand.  Sigh.  On top of that, wonders of the End Times are going on in the world---tornadoes and bad weather everywhere. I just have a STRONG desire for Jesus to come back and take away all this indescribable pain and mental crap that floats in my head from time to time.  I want to be in Heaven...like yesterday! haha...there's just too much going on around and in me that I don't understand.


Sometimes I wish I was born in the 60's or 70's, so then I would have lived a good portion of my life already. I'm 21, and I've heard these are supposed to be the greatest years of my life.  But they're ok...I guess.  I'm sure I'll appreciate it when I'm older.  I feel that I don't fit in with this generation.  I LOVE: old school music, life without SOO many gadgets to pull us from the simple life, life when the young people respected their elders, life minus the extreme violence, life with morals and values, etc.  Like seriously, I sometimes feel like I don't belong in this generation or world.  But I know that God knows what He's doing, and He has placed me here for such a time as this.  I'm just waiting to figure out where He wants me.


Anyway, back to that thing I do...that bad habit I do from time to time.  I really need to stop it; even though it gives an instant gratification, I feel as if I silently suffer that day and a few days after.  I believe it is a way for the enemy to get back in my thoughts and aim to control my mind.  I've learned that the devil goes after the weaker people.  I'm not saying I'm weak, but I'm not the strongest Christian around.  I am learning; and as I always say, this is a process. 

How healthy are you?

I want to live a long and prosperous life. I've finally realized that unfortunately that means I can't indulge in the foods that I always have loved. It's true,
the older you get the more you have to watch what you eat. I was warned that it would all catch up with me but I was in denial but in my conscious mind, I see that it has! lol So I'm committing to a healthier lifestyle, healthy food and active living. Ugh, great! But you gotta be who you desire right? I want my husband to be healthy and active but there would be no point if when he's running a mile, I'm in a car driving behind him haha No, I want to be fit enough to be able to run beside him so "Adios!" to cake and bacon (only with moderation of course) and hello water, veggies, and exercise. Yay! :-/

So I've been saying this for a while, "Get back to your high school weight Chelsea!!!" But I'm serious about it now. Little second, I gained 10-15 pounds last year! Oh no, not I. When I saw a picture and barely recognized myself, that was the push. Gotta get this going. Now Candice is naturally small. I use to be like that but I developed bad eating habits in high school and was destroying my metabolism. I was pretty much borderline anorexic. I won't even say borderline. I'll call it what it is, Anorexic. By definition anorexia is when you restrict calories.

At that time I didn't realize that my lack of a healthy BALANCED diet would have such negative effects on my body but it did. My metabolism hasn't been the same since. So one of my main goals is getting my metabolism back up to par. I plan on having kids and I really don't want to hold on to all that baby weight years after I've had them so gotta get that metabolism up!So I use to be pretty active. No just playing sports but when you grow up in the country like I did and had a house in the middle of a few acres, outside was where the fun was. My cousins and I would literally go outside after we ate Sunday dinner (which was usually right after church at about 3pm) and run around nonstop until it was dark. (In the summer time that could mean as late as 9 pm) But when I got to college, I was one of the unfortunate ones to gain the freshmen fifteen, not to mention I was dating someone at that time who LOVED (beyond words) to eat. But words of advice to the ladies, US WOMEN CAN'T EAT LIKE MEN! Lesson learned.

So whats my plan you ask?

• CUT DOWN ON BREAD
  
• CUT DOWN ON PASTAS
  
• (ONE OF THE HARDEST) CUT DOWN ON SWEETS :-(
  

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY!

SO OF COURSE THAT MEANS

• ALOT OF WATER, FRUITS AND VEGGIES

It won't be hard but I guess this will also be a lesson in discipline. I'll also be exercising 5 times a week. I won't tell you my weight loss goal or my current weight. I have in my mind where I would like to be but I understand it's not ALL about weight. I'm aiming for health. I WILL be the incredible SHRINKING WOMAN. Be prepared to see some of me disappear lol I know that HE'LL (wink wink) appreciate my hard work and so will I! Let's go!

The "Wifey" Doesn't Pout

Hello all! Sorry I've been away for so long (like a week), but you should be getting used to my #1 Excuse: I'm a procrastinator. Haha...one day, I'll be on top of things though!


I hope you all had a great weekend/Easter! I had a fun-filled week (last week), weekend, and Easter.  Church was on point, and I thought I would just go home and take a mini nap before dinner (since I had been running on low sleep like everyday).  I was sleeping ever so peacefully, until my mom called me.


"Candice, what are you doing?"


"I'm taking a nap." (I don't sleep hard lol)


"I need you to help me fix dinner."


I immediately became frustrated, because here I am trying to nap!  And she wants me to help cook dinner  today of all days.  I don't even cook like talking 'bout.  I know I always say I want to learn, but I want to learn when I feel like learning, ya know?  Not on the spot, when I'm tryin' to sleep.


So, I went to the kitchen feeling some type of way.  I was clearly pouting, and I just stood with a mean attitude.


"You're eating with us, aren't you?" my mom said; my nasty looks obviously didn't faze her.


I nodded.  "I should've had you in the kitchen a long time ago," she said.


"Blah blah blah," is what I'm THINKING in my head and I proceeded to make this cheesy potato casserole my mom always makes.


My mom was trying to hold a conversation with me while we cooked, but I was still upset that she interrupted my beauty sleep.  So I acted like a kid, giving one word responses and shrugs.  After awhile, I guess something clicked inside that I was acting extremely childish. So, I let my guard down and acted like my normal self.


It's really silly now, especially since my mom only asked me to cook one thing--the cheesy potato casserole.  On top of that, she had already cut the potatoes.  All I had to do was chop the onions, melt the butter, and stir that (along with a can of Cream of Mushroom and shredded cheese) with the potatoes.  Simple, right?  


Pouting isn't cute...at all!  It's childish when you stick your lip out just because things don't do your way.  Um, suck it up!  Life doesn't revolve around you!  Think about someone other than yourself.  Then YOU will be placed on  someone else's "list" when they choose to think of someone other than themselves.

There's LIFE out there. GET ONE!

I like to think of myself as a pretty spontaneous person. I don't hesitate when someone wants to pick up and go somewhere. ANYWHERE. I'm down. Even if it's the day before. Just hit me up! lol Which is very similiar to what happened last week and now I'm in ATL and one thing this trip has shown me is, there's LIFE outside of where you presently are but sometimes we like to stay in the familiar. I'm not saying to pick up and move. I'm a firm believer in Spiritual Direction but I've continued to ask myself am I living life to the fullest? Is my season in familiar territory over??

I love Va. Not because of it's geographic location or its attractions, etc but because most of my family and friends are there, my home is there, my memories are there but where does God want me to be? I want to make sure that I've submitted every portion, crevice, space to God. I don't want to submit my gifts to Him but use them in the wrong place due to disobedience. That makes me wonder if that's just as bad as not using them at all. I want to encourage people who God has given a vision to, to not shy away from the unknown. Not necessarily location but even areas of your life where the gifts He's revealing to you is out of YOUR norm. Push to have a life! And not just any life but the life that is meant for you. Step out on a leap of faith. Your destiny awaits!

One thing I've realized about being WHOLE is, on this journey it's important to at least be on the correct path. No one's keeping score and God does not desire someone perfect. But you have to AT LEAST have the ability to discern which path is the right one. The next step is to develop the COURAGE to travel it. Many times in unknown territory you will end up feeling ALONE and often that's where God wants you. You yearn for His direction when you need it the most and the more you desire and seek Him, the less likely you are to step out of His will for your life. Wherever I'm suppose to be physically and spiritually, I'm ready.I'm living and learning and I plan to have a life.

One of the things I had to discipline myself with was staying away from PLEASING PEOPLE. I love everyone but alot of decisions were not based on my relationship with God and but more on my relationship with PEOPLE. I've realized that the people who know me and TRUELY love me, will support whichever direction I feel led to go. I'm realizing that making decisions based on EMOTIONS and FEELINGS, led to more EMOTIONAL FEELINGS. Ironic huh? Not really. But I'm almost 23, which is the perfect time to truely get in tune with my discernment. I now know the feeling when discernment invades my own personal thoughts and speaks to me through Godly wisdom and maturity is when I submit to that.

I want a life full of blessings because I was obedient and this trip has taught me how comfortable I STILL am. Just when I thought I was in the unfamiliar! lol But it's not enough.

There's a whole world out here. Wherever He wants to send me, I'm there! Where I am is not enough. I have to push much further!

You Can't Be a WIFE Until You Get Your Own LIFE!!!

"You can't be a wife until you get your own life!"

Chelsea came up with that phrase, and I love it!!! Go ahead and think it's corny if you want to, but really think about it. It seems to ring true. Even though it mentions "wife," the concept can apply to the fellas to. I mean, technically yes, you can get married without figuring out who you are, what you like, what bugs you, what life goals you're aiming for BUT.....you place someone else in a position to try and get to know you and pull things out of you that you haven't even tapped into on your own. Too many people are getting involved with a "significant other," when it's not their season to be.

For many, now is the time to be SINGLE. Now, is the season of preparation. Now, is the time to get that credit back on track and pay off student loans and your car [talking to myself  :) ]. Why not get a hobby, if you don't have one already? This year, I'd like to learn how to play the sax and trumpet. I hope I finally get to go on a skydiving adventure this spring/summer, since these last couple of years it's been a fail because of the lack of planning on my part. I've been meaning to take a swing dancing class with Chelsea, since it just looks so flippin fun! haha...I've also always wanted to go to the Essence Music Festival, so maybe the impossible will be made possible this summer so I can go. Sooooo, what do you like to do or plan on doing? That was just a snippet of mine.

Note: If you are dating someone right now and you can't do any activity unless they're there, you are lurking towards a problem! You need a life outside of them! As romantic as it sounds to spend time with your "love" nearly every hour of the day, 7 days a week....you are inching towards the possibility for the relationship to grow to be stale, mundane, and predictable. No one wants to hear that they are now "a boring person." So, keep things fresh and don't be so attached at the hip!

As for the non-daters at the moment (like myself), there are a ton of things to work on. I'll be the first to admit that I can't cook. I mean, I think I got main breakfast dishes covered and a few side items for dinner. But, I had to smh at myself last month when I burned rice in the microwave! Wow, right? And I was about to make the driest brownies in the world a couple weeks ago, until Chelsea told me I needed to add more water... lol! I didn't know! haha. My mom has tried to teach me how to cook, but I pushed it away several times because I get extremely HOT in the kitchen so easily and frustrated when the food either sticks to the pan after I sprayed a ton of non-stick spray or it just flat-out doesn't look like the picture!

Sooo (in no particular order), I need to learn how to....

• Cook!

• Parallel park

• Keep my hair up on the regular!

• Be a better steward over my time and finances

• Really plan my future

• Be consistent with my prayer life with God

Just a few things I need to work on RIGHT NOW! Everyone should always be working on something. No one has "made it" yet; there's always room for improvement. 

Learn to be alone sometimes, without the company of friends or a "significant other." Find out who you are. Ask God, continue to keep Him first, and He will reveal things to you. Utilize your gifts/talents. If you don't have a clue as to what they could be, just tap inside yourself. It's not that hard. Chances are YOU KNOW. It has been said that "your gift will make room for you." So, get to work! Get busy about your purpose and everything else should flow and stem from that.

Get Some Drive-Thru Etiquette!

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a fun, relaxing weekend! I meant to blog something, but as you have learned---I'm the QUEEN OF PROCRASTINATION! haha...I'm working on it; this is all a process.


Just for a little background info: I've worked at Chick-fil-A, the fast-food chain, for almost five and a half years now. It was my first job in high school, and yes sometimes I'm embarrassed that I'm STILL there. But hey, it pays the bills, and I'm thankful that I'm able to keep a job for so long.


Anyway, I was just telling Chelsea last week that everyone should work in some type of restaurant at least once in their lives. It will really teach you how to appreciate what employees go through to serve you. At the last store meeting, my boss reminded us that without customers, we basically don't have jobs. I also heard a quote sometime last year, and it just sticks with me. "If you're not serving others, then what are you doing?"


If you think about it, every job you can think of requires you to serve others. Whether you do hair, sell drugs, deliver mail, or work at a bank...you are SERVING somebody. Even the most selfish money hungry people seek ways for folks to buy their products; they are serving up a form of entertainment.


Sometimes serving others is hard, especially when you are forced to deal with rude and undeserving people. I worked Friday and Saturday this weekend, and I can't even explain my level of frustration with people and the disorganization of the workplace. As usual, everyone flooded in the doors wanting breakfast when breakfast was bound to be over within 20 min. People don't realize that you need time to switch over from breakfast to lunch, so it'd be wise to wake up a little earlier if you're craving some morning food.


I often work in the drive-thru, and some of you don't realize how rude you actually are (and sometimes that can make it frustrating). People have gotten so technologically advanced that they don't know how to put a cell phone down for less than 5 min so they can have their order taken precisely. And then, they have the nerve to get mad when the order is wrong! Hellooooo?! Get off your phone and listen!


One of my co-workers wrote this little thing a couple of years ago on the many annoyances of the Chick-fil-A drive-thru/fast-food period. I ran across it yesterday, when I was deleting old messages on Facebook. I decided to repost it. Maybe you'll laugh, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't. Bottom line: Respect those that serve you, and those that serve you will respect you. (But at the chicken spot, we're taught that the customer is always right. Always. Ummm, not really. But ok, I'll pretend that you are. haha)

"you and me could write a bad romance"

•  it's a chick-fil-a sandwich, not just a chick-fil-a, we'll take fried sandwich too

• it's pronounced fi-VE and twel-VE.

• if i didn't ask you what kind of sauce you wanted, don't tell me, the people at the window will ask, thank you

• no, we don't have "child-sized" milkshakes...cuz your little kid should not have that many calories, thanks

• its pronounced MILKSHAKE, not meeeuuulllkkshake or however the heck you just said it

• they're just nuggets, i don't need you to read out the ENTIRE NAME, as long as you don't say MCNUGGETS, we're straight

• please, please, please say the size and amount of ice you want in your drink up front, cuz chances are i've made it by the time you're done ordering

• talk faster please, you're wasting valuable time

• unless i ask, i usually understand what you mean, you don't have to repeat every little part

• of course its sweet lemonade, the diet is just sweetened with splenda, ya don't have to imply that its sweet, i know the difference

• i'm not incompetant just beacause i "work fast food". don't talk to me like that

• i can't read your mind, lets not get an attitude....

• let's not order 93984875 milkshakes, i'm already bustin my butt for other peoples drinks, thanks

• go to walmart, buy some tea, and make your own freakin gallons

• um, get of your car, walk inside and order a tray, you're lazy.

• if you're gonna make an order for more than $35, you can come inside too.

• don't take forever to stare at the menu and just order the simplest item, gahhh

• lets not hang your money out of the window like a jerk

• GET OFF YOUR PHONE!

• of course i'm still here, where would i freakin go, duh?

• uhmmm is NOT a proper answer, let's gooooo alreadyyy

• HELLO?!?!? is RUDE. a simple, i'm ready to order now will work

• if you need a min, at least let me know, don't just sit there and get an attitude with me

•  ^ you can ask nicely, "can i have a min.,please?" not "gimme a min", or "hold on"...especially if you are on the phone.

• when i was little, i ate whatever my parents ordered me, if not, i didn't eat. you don't need to sit there and wait for your kids to decide what they want, just get them what you want them to have!!!

• it's not charbroiled or charcoalbroiled....there's.. nothing here to do with broiling or charcoal.....stop now.

• well done's the word, not "fried hard"

• its POLYNESIAN...not difficult

• don't just lay your hand on the window and expect me to reach, put some effort into it

• i HATE repeating myself, seriously, what do you think i said??

• PAY ATTENTION...ketchup, mayo or sauce?, "no thanks, just ketchup"...duhhhrrr

• your sauce?? where are we again??

• no, we don't have fish, burgers, frostees, arby's sauce, tarter sauce, "regular fries", or chocolate icecream

• a chocolate milshake, but half chocolate half vanilla....think about it, you're dumb

• lets nooooottt add crap at the window and say we did

• yes. you'll get your straw, spoon or napkins, hold the eff on

• dude, you don't need to drive that fast, just don't creep along either...

• speak up! just don't shout...

• can't ya'll just pay someone back later?? same car orders are lamee.....

• no as a matter of fact, you didn't say "no ice", if ya did i woulda remembered...

• no, you didn't say "large"....jerk

• a meal comes with the usual...fries and a drink....where do you live? under a rock?

• it already comes in a medium size, dude

• it's not really a pleasure to serve you at the window

• can we not order from the passenger side? k thanks

• they're waffle fries...normal fries in a waffle shape...whats so difficult???

• let me finish talking before you answer or drive away please

•  diet....diet what??

• if you say coke or pepsi...ill know what it means, dont worry bout it...if we don't have it ill let you know.

• why do want a milkshake when its reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy cold outside??

• the salads and wraps are pre-made. no, we won't make a special one for you, just don't order that.

• if you want icecream instead of a toy, tell the order taker, don't wait til ya get to the window

• if you have to come back though, just let the order taker know what you need so things don't get complicated at the window

• we're outta breakfast, get your butt outta bed earlier

• if its on the breakfast menu, its only for breakfast

• yes a milksahake costs more instead of a drink, why wouldn't it???

• if you don't like our prices or how fast we do things, go to mcdonalds...right down the road

• speak English please....

• "may i have it without ice" is acceptable, not "can i get no ice in it"...uhm nooo

• will it kill you to say "thank you"? geeezzzz

• yes, you have to get whats on the coupon, unless its a drink....stop asking..

• no, it is not minute made lemonade... ewww..try fresh squeezed, lets not insult the lemonade...

• why do you need 7837646738 sauces for 4 nuggets?????

• define "lots of"

• i'm not laughing. shut up

• the fries were perfectly hot, do you WANT to burn your mouth and my hand, seriouslyy???

• sorry we got it wrong, stuff happens, get over it

• bring your lazy butt inside if you aren't disabled, have a lot of kids, or are in a hurry

• no, we don't want your nasty trash to thow away in here, theres a trash can further up, or thow it away at home

• credit cards are our fave. :)

• where are you gettin allllll these coupons?

• um you don't say the "t" at the end of filet.....get that straight please

• lets keep it simple, and quick ;)

• uhhh its all chicken, its not that difficult

• read the menu, dont sayyyy excuse me? if i say chargrilled, spicy, or ceasar, 8 or 12, 3 or 4....its all spelled out

• its "VALUE SIZED"

• define "extra, extra"

• the biggest size drink is a "large"...32 oz

• we don't have "boy" or "girl" toys

•  you've never heard of Chick-fil-a???? whaaattt??

• we changed the menu like a year ago or so, so lets not get an attitude and say "you changed the menu on me." where have you been if you knew the menu so well to begin with..

• don't blow smoke in the window person's face, ewww.

• the person taking your order and the person taking your money are not the same....we see the difference

• breast feed your kid on your own time, not in the drive-thru....yeah, it happened

• here's a knife, cut your own sandwhich in half

• the cups are marked...and btw...the lemonade is the yellow one....and the tea is brownish...um duh

•  ohhh...chick-fil-a combo?? uhhh they all are

these are the things people should know, its not hard people! hahaha

**this is why we're right and the customer is usually wrong 

Now, don't go thinking that we're rude. You may not understand. There's some days that I feel so much joy in serving the public. Then, there's days like this weekend. I was frustrated with the organization of the job as well as the customers. Don't criticize about how we feel, the wait it took for you to get your food, or anything else until you work a considerable amount of time in a restaurant. Understand that everyone has a bad day. You do, don't you? Why is it so hard to believe that a restaurant won't?

That's Why I'm Not a Wife......yet!

So, I've read Chelsea's posting "Enjoy Becoming" (below) about three times. From reading that, I realize how different we are and how I'm definitely NOT "wifey material" yet. It kinda convicted me actually. I feel like I'm the slacker above slackers, and I guess from reading her posting...that makes me just a little bit SELFISH.


To be honest, I'm not thinking about my future family realistically. I daydream quite often about how my family will look externally--picture perfect, 3-5 kids, a spontaneously loving husband, nice house and cars, the dog I never had, and a family feel like that on the Cosby Show. However, I'm not thinking about all the hard work that goes on behind the scenes to get there.


Chelsea mentioned that she's finally getting serious about her education and has set her priorities in order. Me? Ummm...


I'm just not there. I know I have the potential to do and be better in school, but I just SLACK and PROCRASTINATE so much! I just get mad at myself when I think of how much I slack off in my studies and in other areas in my life.

• I'm late to nearly EVERYTHING! And I'm so tired of it! 

• The interior of my room, bathroom, and car stays messy. (And I have the pictures to prove it! Yes, I'm about to expose myself! haha)

I hate, hate, HATE folding clothes. Can you tell?

So, they pretty much stay there and I pick out what I need from day to day. Shame, I know.

I should at least invest in a laundry basket or something.

Product junkie. I don't even use half of that stuff.

Ugh!

Scum. Oh, and the drain sometimes reeks of rotten eggs. Gotta keep the Draino on deck! lol

As you can see, my cleanliness is a HUGE issue. I didn't have any pics of my car up here, but it's no exception to my messy ways. This is one of the reasons Why I'm NOT a Wife Yet and why I still live at home with my parents at age 21 (not a horrible thing, but I'd like to move out in the near future). I need to learn how to clean my space regularly. I'm only messy when it comes to MY stuff. I definitely keep the kitchen clean, since I can't stand dirty dishes piling up in the sink. I'm a clean person at work as well.

So, I know I'm not ready to be a wife as of now. I'm sure my future hubby would be frustrated with me, and I wouldn't want to raise kids in a filthy environment. So, I guess I will buy a laundry basket next week to eliminate the growing pile of clothes on my bed. (I don't know why I never thought of that before.)

From reading Chelsea's posting, I realized how unfocused I really am when it comes to my education. I almost don't even care about school, but she pointed out that it's pretty selfish that I'm not starting to care about my future family (whenever I start one). Even though I'm a little shaky with sticking to a major (because I am unsure of whether it's my life calling or not), I should just apply myself and at least stop wasting precious money on classes I have to repeat because of poor grades. Hopefully, I'll have my Bachelor's in Professional Writing/Journalism by the end of 2012. My life is not my own. My struggles are not mine alone. I do this for my offspring, my legacy. And if I never have kids, I do this to please God and to be able to be a blessing to someone else in the future.

Enjoy Becoming

How about we get our priorities straight! Yes? GREAT! :-)

I'm actually enjoying this process of BECOMING.One of the best feelings is knowing the promises God has made you and seeing them begin to manifest. *sigh* Why even complain?? Life is hard but this life is only temporary so you might as well enjoy the PROCESS.

Self-discovery is definitely a prerequisite to ultimately BECOMING. Being that it's often a challenging process, so many people try to step over that part of the puzzle. DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! I am a firm believer that nothing good comes easy. Everybody wants the ultimate beautiful "dream" lifestyle, but many don't want to work for it. That's so contradicting. Success comes from hard work so you're actually going to have to do something lol But it's a process and I'm glad that at 22, I have already taken steps on the road of becoming.

I believe my priorities are finally in order. It frustrates me when people don't have their own lives together and they try to add so many others to their chaos with relationships, friends, etc. PRIORITIES FOLKS. One thing at a time!

I'm finally finding enjoyment in continuing my education and I believe that has to do with being obedient to where God wants me for now and not doing only what I want to do. I've given up on making such selfish decisions. Those are no good. On days where I don't want to do assignments or read, etc I think about my future family and how important it is to be able to provide for them and immediately I'm motivated. Your priorities should have your future in mind. If it were solely for me, I probably would slack, but I think about how blessed my childhood was and I want to be able to do even more for my kids so education is important to me so that's definitely on my list of priorities.

Self discovery is about SELF. If you don't understand yourself, how can you expect anyone else to. I'm sure that would be pretty hard. It's like introducing someone to a stranger. POINTLESS. I challenge whoever reads this to dig deep in their heart and write down what's important to you. BE HONEST! If you aren't one hundred percent sure who you are and your list includes things like romantic relationships, having lots of money and big houses, it is definitely time to reevaluate. Not saying those things aren't possible but faith without works is dead. You gotta start at the beginning and go higher!

Take advantage of this time to understand yourself and prioritize your own life. I have and I'm loving it. Once you get in a flow, things will begin to fall into place. Let's BECOME and enjoy the process at the same time!

Take Away My Boy-Crazies!

Heyyy-loo!

So, I've been trying to get in the habit of blogging daily since this is a day by day journey to become the woman I'm meant to be (whether I'm married or single). Yea, that's not going as planned but I'm aiming to be better.

Warning: This posting may be random. So many random thoughts, feelings, emotions running wild in my head.

I think I'm just a tad bit boy-crazy, but it's SO unintentional. Sometimes I feel that I have at least two separate relationships with random guys going on in my head. I wonder if it's lust. I don't really think about these two guys unless I see them, and then my mind starts to wander and create a fictional relationship/fantasy. Note: These aren't nasty, graphic, sexual fantasies. It's just simple stuff: good conversation, smiling, laughing, spontaneous dates, playing with our fictional kids (haha), etc.

Tonight, I ran into this guy I guess I used to "talk" to (but not really). The whole situation was RANDOM! I want to, but I just can't stop analyzing the situation. It's probably nothing more than a distraction to get me off course, but still....why was he at the same event I was? Why did I have to see him? Why did we have to talk? Hmm, I wonder what he's up to? Should I give him my number again so we can reconnect and catch up? Ugh!! I just wish it never happened. I feel frazzled for no reason. (Like that word? Haha!) Then I got home and sadly, I stooped low to the position of a Facebook stalker. 

Before tonight, I had never been able to find him on Facebook. I never knew his full name, just a nickname he went by. He was also from New York, so of course, that would've been a pain trying to find him. But I did find him. How, you ask? Being super nosy! Smh...! But even then, his page was all blocked from the public so I couldn't really spy like I wanted to. This is not Godly. I should be smacked! lol

I need to stop having imaginary relationships with dudes I don't even talk to on the regular. These guys probably don't know the first thing about me for real. God will make it possible if it's meant to be. No need in trying to chase someone who ain't the real thing. 

But it was just so random though! I can't get off that. Hopefully, I go to sleep and forget I saw him. And, hopefully I don't see the other two guys anytime soon. Or if I do, I need the strength and wisdom to be able to look the other way and/or be busy about something, ANYTHING!

This is NOT the time to let my mind wander. Time to get and Stay focused! Recognize a distraction when it appears randomly.

One of the many goals of Project Wifey is to direct us to a place where we become so busy about our purpose and destiny that we're not even thinking about a relationship. I believe that some things come when you're NOT looking for it---including relationships.

So, let's get busy about WHY we're here on this Earth. Sure, a marriage may be linked into that. But, let's not make it a primary focus. More soon....