People of the Past

Have you ever gone through something where it seems like no one whose around you now understands you like someone from your past? And when I say people from the past, I'm referring to people who knew you before you really knew yourself. The type of person who could tell what you were thinking by the expression on your face. The type of person who could communicate with you only with a certain glance in your eyes. But also the type of person that really wasn't good for you.

I'm not calling anyone a bad person but there were some people we all had to step back from when we began to get serious in our relationship with God. Maybe there was some romantic interest or maybe there wasn't but I had a dream last night that made me think of this. And I've been there.

I hate to say it but many of those old relationships that surface are a big old distraction. I believe we each move through life in seasons. That's why a transition into a new season can be a bit uncomfortable but it's inevitable. And to be honest, we can't take everyone with us, especially those relationships of the past.

Of course for many people, the past may pop up and come back around but we have to have the discernment to know what steps to take when that happens. Unfortunately a lot of people seek comfort from people from their past because like I said, they KNOW them. But we lie to ourselves when we believe they can offer us something that isn't already readily available to us.

Soul ties are a real thing and can be some of the hardest forms of bondage to break free from. So when God has given you the strength to step away, APPRECIATE IT. DON'T walk back to it when you've already been freed from it. Seeking comfort and acceptance from a person outside of God's will is a trap to get your heart entangled into a season you are already familiar with. Without wisdom and discernment it'll cause you to retrace your footsteps. I've always heard that when you don't learn the lesson the 1st time, God WILL send it back around. Save yourself the backtracking.

I think people should be more open about soul ties. So many people stay in relationships for YEARS while being abused, used, manipulated, disrespected, etc., and that's because their souls will not release them. Of course everyone's relationships haven't ended that way but there was a reason it didn't work in the first place right? Let it be. I have always been told that if you have to hide it, don't do it. Seek accountability and accept what those around you say. Fear of the truth is usually conviction but ultimately can save you from deeper heartache, invested time, and disappointment.

 I can only imagine how God feels knowing that He gave so many people the grace and mercy to be able to break free of a bad relationship only to have them resurface into their lives.

When we make up in our minds, "Not my will but Your will," I believe that's when things line up into place. Everyone wants someone who comforts them and knows them like no one else. But you NEED to experience that before you seek PEOPLE because God has already made Himself available to provide us with all that and more. When we seek others for that, we pretty much are telling Him that He is not enough. And from the depths of my heart, I can guarantee you that He's MORE than enough. But He can only give you what you allow Him to.

 When you know better, you should do better and God holds US accountable based off of what we know. So it doesn't matter what others are doing. We know to seek Him before making decisions and we know to seek Him before releasing our hearts. Therefore if we don't, we face the consequences. I hope this spoke to someone's heart as I am not aiming to condemn. But to encourage each person reading this to remember that God got you to where you are and freed you from your past and it's only His grace that can keep you and ultimately carry you further. Sometimes the enemy is really the "inner me." Keep it moving!

Don't Be So Available

Remember when I had that vent awhile back over my mom? lol (sorry again mother haha)...Well, I forgot to write on what I had planned to be writing on....


I remember when I was trying to get over the break-up of my ex, and my mom was the main one I cried to and confided in. She gave me SOO much advice to help me get over that, and I still have a notebook slightly filled with all those motivational nuggets. One thing that ALWAYS sticks out to me is when she told me, "Don't be so available."


I'm gonna try not to go into too much detail, since the whole ordeal with my ex is a very tiring subject. We've been broken up since 2008; but somehow on every holiday or special event throughout the year, we end up talking to each other via text and then phone and usually meeting somewhere to catch up. He's usually the one that instigates the random texts. If it's my birthday, he'll wish me a good one and a conversation comes out of that. Mainly, it's just Christmas, New Year's, and my Bday.


We'll go months without talking, and if it's not a holiday...that's when the random convos begin---> "Let me ask you a question. If we ever got back together, do you think it would work?" or "Hey, I just wanted to check to see how you were doing." etc...


These talking moments usually last a couple or days or so, because he wants to be my friend. I argue that we can't. (I mean, this dude cheated on me and until this year, he was still with that same girl. Be your friend? Umm, where they do that at?) So, we argue the same arguments since 2008. Like, it's the same conversations...same words--EVERYTHING.


Last encounter--yesterday. lol. So, here it is June 6, 2011. I'm NOT going to be available to him anymore. You all are my witnesses. haha


By texting him back and answering the phone all those random times, I was almost being used like a puppet. I probably appeared to him to be "the one that will always be there, will never leave." Welp, no more! I'm tired of it! The only solution I can think of is to just ignore him. You're probably thinking, duh! Move on! Change your number!


I don't feel like changing my number and going through all of that...lol. It's bad enough that we both have memorized one another's numbers, soo there's a lesson for ya. Don't memorize your significant other's number!! (at least until you get married lol) When you don't know it, it won't be so easy to contact "old faithful."


Even if you're dating right now, don't be so available. You don't have to put everything down and stop what you're doing every time they call. Remember, you need a life OUTSIDE of your mate, and sometimes from your regular group of friends too. People don't have to know all of your whereabouts. They're not your spouse, so you don't have to answer to them right now. Technically, you're still "single" but don't be a player either. Be a mystery, and keep all of them guessing on your next move.  

Take Away My Boy-Crazies!

Heyyy-loo!

So, I've been trying to get in the habit of blogging daily since this is a day by day journey to become the woman I'm meant to be (whether I'm married or single). Yea, that's not going as planned but I'm aiming to be better.

Warning: This posting may be random. So many random thoughts, feelings, emotions running wild in my head.

I think I'm just a tad bit boy-crazy, but it's SO unintentional. Sometimes I feel that I have at least two separate relationships with random guys going on in my head. I wonder if it's lust. I don't really think about these two guys unless I see them, and then my mind starts to wander and create a fictional relationship/fantasy. Note: These aren't nasty, graphic, sexual fantasies. It's just simple stuff: good conversation, smiling, laughing, spontaneous dates, playing with our fictional kids (haha), etc.

Tonight, I ran into this guy I guess I used to "talk" to (but not really). The whole situation was RANDOM! I want to, but I just can't stop analyzing the situation. It's probably nothing more than a distraction to get me off course, but still....why was he at the same event I was? Why did I have to see him? Why did we have to talk? Hmm, I wonder what he's up to? Should I give him my number again so we can reconnect and catch up? Ugh!! I just wish it never happened. I feel frazzled for no reason. (Like that word? Haha!) Then I got home and sadly, I stooped low to the position of a Facebook stalker. 

Before tonight, I had never been able to find him on Facebook. I never knew his full name, just a nickname he went by. He was also from New York, so of course, that would've been a pain trying to find him. But I did find him. How, you ask? Being super nosy! Smh...! But even then, his page was all blocked from the public so I couldn't really spy like I wanted to. This is not Godly. I should be smacked! lol

I need to stop having imaginary relationships with dudes I don't even talk to on the regular. These guys probably don't know the first thing about me for real. God will make it possible if it's meant to be. No need in trying to chase someone who ain't the real thing. 

But it was just so random though! I can't get off that. Hopefully, I go to sleep and forget I saw him. And, hopefully I don't see the other two guys anytime soon. Or if I do, I need the strength and wisdom to be able to look the other way and/or be busy about something, ANYTHING!

This is NOT the time to let my mind wander. Time to get and Stay focused! Recognize a distraction when it appears randomly.

One of the many goals of Project Wifey is to direct us to a place where we become so busy about our purpose and destiny that we're not even thinking about a relationship. I believe that some things come when you're NOT looking for it---including relationships.

So, let's get busy about WHY we're here on this Earth. Sure, a marriage may be linked into that. But, let's not make it a primary focus. More soon....