So, I've been trying to get in the habit of blogging daily since this is a day by day journey to become the woman I'm meant to be (whether I'm married or single). Yea, that's not going as planned but I'm aiming to be better.
Warning: This posting may be random. So many random thoughts, feelings, emotions running wild in my head.
I think I'm just a tad bit boy-crazy, but it's SO unintentional. Sometimes I feel that I have at least two separate relationships with random guys going on in my head. I wonder if it's lust. I don't really think about these two guys unless I see them, and then my mind starts to wander and create a fictional relationship/fantasy. Note: These aren't nasty, graphic, sexual fantasies. It's just simple stuff: good conversation, smiling, laughing, spontaneous dates, playing with our fictional kids (haha), etc.
Tonight, I ran into this guy I guess I used to "talk" to (but not really). The whole situation was RANDOM! I want to, but I just can't stop analyzing the situation. It's probably nothing more than a distraction to get me off course, but still....why was he at the same event I was? Why did I have to see him? Why did we have to talk? Hmm, I wonder what he's up to? Should I give him my number again so we can reconnect and catch up? Ugh!! I just wish it never happened. I feel frazzled for no reason. (Like that word? Haha!) Then I got home and sadly, I stooped low to the position of a Facebook stalker.
Before tonight, I had never been able to find him on Facebook. I never knew his full name, just a nickname he went by. He was also from New York, so of course, that would've been a pain trying to find him. But I did find him. How, you ask? Being super nosy! Smh...! But even then, his page was all blocked from the public so I couldn't really spy like I wanted to. This is not Godly. I should be smacked! lol
I need to stop having imaginary relationships with dudes I don't even talk to on the regular. These guys probably don't know the first thing about me for real. God will make it possible if it's meant to be. No need in trying to chase someone who ain't the real thing.
But it was just so random though! I can't get off that. Hopefully, I go to sleep and forget I saw him. And, hopefully I don't see the other two guys anytime soon. Or if I do, I need the strength and wisdom to be able to look the other way and/or be busy about something, ANYTHING!
This is NOT the time to let my mind wander. Time to get and Stay focused! Recognize a distraction when it appears randomly.
One of the many goals of Project Wifey is to direct us to a place where we become so busy about our purpose and destiny that we're not even thinking about a relationship. I believe that some things come when you're NOT looking for it---including relationships.
So, let's get busy about WHY we're here on this Earth. Sure, a marriage may be linked into that. But, let's not make it a primary focus. More soon....
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