Ugh! lol

So I did a pretty strenuous fast a couple weeks ago and I received confirmation on my calling. I kind of got out of myself during my quiet time on one of those days. By out of myself I mean nothing was in the way, not my mind or anything. I had more clarity than ever. I was truely in a different realm and I loved every second of it. One thing that God has shown me is that my ability to walk in forgiveness is not quite up to par yet. I can't do the assignment God has given me properly if I can't completely forgive.
Forgiveness is a part of moving on and life comes with many persecutions. But its not about the persecution, its about the way you handle it. To say the least, the past two years I've felt betrayed more than I probably ever have before. Being that I thought I was in a season where those around me would go "easy" on me because I had so much going on, come to find out, I was wrong! Lol I was not exempt from being talked about, lied on, manipulated, etc and I had to step back and ask if I had prayed for anything specific. Then I realized, I asked God to show me the proper way to forgive. In return, I was faced with situations that forced me to stare forgiveness in the face.
Forgiveness is hard especially when you're in a situation like mine. I've come across so many people with hidden intentions and forgiveness has never come easily for me. One of my male friends has the ability to walk in love like no one else I know. I often go to him and vent about things pertaining to forgiveness and he always comes with a word on walking in love. I want to get to that place, where forgiveness comes just as natural as hostility. I understand that everyone can't and shouldn't be trusted but to get to a place where I can genuinely look at someone and say "you hurt me in this way or that way but I forgive you and love you anyway" is quite difficult.
But God has forgiven and loved each of us through everything we've ever asked forgiveness for so who am I to hold a grudge. I know I'm required to forgive. It just seems that the past year and a half has probably been the hardest year of forgiveness. I felt God saying that every person who seems to have my back won't, and many. have false intentions but that comes with the assignment. So I need to learn how to handle it and love people regardless.
Definitely one of my bigger challenges but I'm open to learn how because its required and I must live above the standard. I can't have unforgiveness clogging up my heart!

Short Hair, Don't Care

So I finally went completely NATURAL for my hair. I hadn't had a relaxer since Oct./Nov 2010, and my cousin cut all the relaxer out (over a month ago) early in July. I finally got the courage to start wearing it out last week, and I must say that I LOVE this new look for me! It is true what they say, that cutting your relaxed hair is so F R E E I N G!! My hair feels so soft, fluffy, and healthy! I feel more confident and somewhat Afro-centric. You should try it one day. :-)

BEFORE

AFTER

Still amazes me that my hair is so curly! Who woulda thought? Not I...

This is an entirely new journey for me. I'm excited about it, yet I have NO IDEA what I've gotten myself into! lol...join me!

Earthquakes, Soul Ties, and Distractions

Little did I know that I would experience a live EARTHQUAKE today. It was so random! Earthquakes and natural disasters rarely RARELY happen in VA! So I'm workin at Chick-fil-A bagging an order, and the building just starts shaking. I'd never felt the ground underneath me shake like that. I seriously thought Jesus was bout to crack the sky. Man, I kinda wish He had...this world is too crazzzyy for words. Everyone was freaking out, and it's just been the talk all day long. And probably will be tomorrow and in days to come. Plus, there's the possible aftershock. Then, there's a hurricane headed our way this weekend. So Jesus might not have come today, but He's on His way.

Remember this song? We used to sing this at my old church back in the day, but it's a fitting song for the present.

I kept thinking today, "Time to get right." Not just for me, but for the world. Jesus is coming back, and I'm not gonna lie...the thought sometimes scares me. I know I'm going to heaven, but it's a frightening fact that the world as I know it is going to end. Even more frightening is the future of those who don't know Jesus.

I don't claim to be super-spiritual, and my aim is definitely NOT to preach at you. I'm just being real. Don't you feel that something is going on beyond the physical, like in the spiritual realm? Natural disasters, bad weather, wars, people acting too foolish...think about what the world has come down to. Sin is so much more embraced now, and I'm sure God isn't pleased. Whew, imagine His wrath when He finally gets to that breaking point when He pulls the plug. I definitely don't wanna be on that end.

So, get right! You don't know the day or the hour. If anything, this whole event made me want to be more serious about God and His purpose in my life.

Now, moving on...soul ties and distractions. R A N D O M but....

Do you think you ever forget your first love? And if you can't, is that considered a soul tie? Or is it a merely a distraction? What do YOU think? [I don't feel like explaining where this is coming from. lol]

Nitey nite...i'll leave you with an AH-MAZING song that's been in my head since yesterday. :-)

Proverbs 31 Bound

Lately, I've been reading Proverbs 31. I think The Message translation is my favorite so far. Whether you're an avid Bible reader or not, I'm pretty sure you have heard talk referring to the "virtuous Proverbs 31 woman." Every guy wants or should want a chick like her. If you haven't read it all, Google it and read Proverbs 31:10-31.

Yea, so I've been reading this chapter and reading it and reading....and....I'm not her! At all! At least not yet...

That woman had it going on! She was productive and organized, and also made sure that her family was constructive with their time as well. Her days were all planned out---she probably had so much already completed before the time I usually wake up! And now in the summer (and when I'm not working), that's around 10AM. She wasn't lazy at all; she was a very successful businesswoman. She knew how to create multiple streams of income for her household--from selling her own handmade clothing to buying acres of land!

Unlike myself (yet lol), she was also "SKILLED in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking." I imagine that she could throw down in the kitchen..or the hut, tent, whatever. lol. Her place was probably so spotless and organized. I can't wait for the day when I'll be consistent in putting everything in its proper place. I don't know why I feel the need to throw everything on top of the bed or stuff things in drawers...smh. I'll get there one day soon though. :-)

I've realized that this virtuous woman did so much for her family and others. She wasn't just a pretty girl making googly eyes with her husband; she WORKED and did her job well. She embodied excellence and was an influential being in her community. She feared God, submitted to her husband, and kept her kids in check as well.

I just celebrated my 22nd birthday last week, and I've just felt that it's time for me to "grow up" in so many ways. If you saw me, you'd probably think I was still in high school. That's not a bad thing, but I'd like to dress in a way that is more appealing...not even for a man, but for me. I could have a ton of money in my bank account, and I would hardly go shopping even when I could stand a few new outfits. (I can still wear some things from middle and high school smh). Most likely, I'd spend the money on food. Bottom line: I'd just like to dress like a 22 year old should.

Ironically on my bday, my mom mentioned that I need "to put myself in a position to be found." She wasn't saying that I need to approach guys or be on the lookout for a man, but rather to just be prepared. Sometimes he's there, but he can't see you because you're not the YOU you're supposed to be. You're hidden from his view. Hope that makes sense. And once again, becoming this Proverbs 31 figure is NOT an adventure to somehow meet the man of my dreams. I mean, if it happens it happens. :-) But, that's not the ultimate goal.

I have several immature, childish characteristics. Maybe you do too. We all need to "grow up" in some way or another. Maturity doesn't necessarily mean older in age. It's the lessons you learn in life combined with the tests you pass on those subjects. I encourage each of you to read Proverbs 31 today--male or female. Ladies, you need to know your virtuous role. And fellas, you need to recognize who "the ONE" is supposed to look like so you don't settle for any ol' pretty thing that opens up her legs...oops! Did I just say--yurrpp! tee-hee! :-)

Be Inspired...

I stumbled across this on Facebook, and I love it! Enjoy!

Just Do It!

Hey all!

I do apologize for the inconsistency in this blog...I would say I've been so busy and haven't had the time, but then I'd be lying. I haven't really had any specific topics to talk about, but some of you may like my random ramblings...so here we go! :)

I just got some random inspiration from my mom. She was telling me of how she saw David and Tamela Mann (Mr. Brown & Cora from Tyler Perry's projects) on an interview. Apparently Tamela never intended to be an actress. Her main thing was to just sing songs in Perry's plays; however, Tyler Perry saw something else in her. And as we have seen, she is an accomplished actress with a few movies and a TV show under her belt. From what I understand, she never had any or much experience in acting. But look at where it got her!

My mom also mentioned Joni Lamb, co-founder of the Daystar Television Network. Lamb and her husband knew NOTHING about operating a television network, but God had placed the idea on their hearts to do so. Just from hearing that and knowing about the success of their network now, got me to thinking about my own God-given ideas and dreams (including this blog). If the Lord gave you an idea or witty invention, He will always provide ALL the necessities to allow it to come into fruition. 

There are tons of ideas on several subjects always floating around in my head, but what gets me is the HOW-TO on how to make it happen. So I may think on these ideas several times throughout the day, but I've realized that nothing is gonna happen until I make an effort. I may not know how to get there, but I know someone who does... *Enter, The Man Upstairs*

Faith without works is dead. I have to constantly remind myself of that, since I kind of feel inconsistent in areas where I should be fully consistent and diligent in. My mind tends to go idle at times, especially since it's summertime. smh...this should be the time when I'm at a peak of some sort and being actively productive in SOMETHING! 

Well, I'm getting there and I'm happy to report that I've got my mind under control!!! I literally thought I was going crazy about a week or two ago. But I realized I had to reach and pull closer to God, and I had to be reminded that He's my EVERYTHING. He just wanted his daughter's full attention. :-)

I've also been developing new habits. I'm reading the Word daily now, so that definitely helps. I shoulda been doing that the whole time, but....I tend to slip sometimes and get caught up in life doing everything and nothing at the same time. So, even if it's just a few verses, I take the time out to read my Bible daily. I pray more selflessly, and I listen for God's voice as well. 

I've also started a new goal to read at least 1 book a week. It is POSSIBLE!! You just have to make the time out to do so. So, that's what I'm doing now....I'm reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. What are you reading??? Start something!! An idle mind is a terrible thing...

Mind Attacks

Yea so it's been awhile since I've posted anything...sorry guys!

Have you ever felt like you were going to lose your mind? Like seriously. I was sort of feeling like that pretty much all this week. I can't even explain it all; I just thought I was gonna go crazy and I was tempted to do something real stupid. For some reason, I felt lonely. I would wake up everyday feeling empty. I didn't understand why though. I've felt those feelings before, and they didn't last forever. They would usually come around when I was putting any and everything above God, but I've felt that I've been giving Him an adequate amount of my time lately so I was lost as to WHY I was feeling like this.

After talking to a couple people, I've come to the conclusion that I was and still am BEING BROKEN. I didn't know what "being broken" meant until after I decided to be serious for the Lord a couple years ago. Things are always going peachy until randomly out the blue, I got hit. It's normal to be lonely, because it's likely that it means God is desiring to spend more time with you. (*Thanks Chels*) Ain't it funny that we just came from an awesome conference in Louisiana and the next week, I begin to randomly feel like crap? Yea, it's just the devil.

On this journey to wholeness, I'm steadily learning that there's always going to be obstacles and things that the enemy will throw in my direction to get me off track. That goes for you too. Man, he was really trying to bother me this week y'all. If you know anything about me, you would know that I was never a wild child. I never got sucked into the whole partying/clubbing scene. But for some reason, I started to envy people that were doing that. I was kinda wishing I could "go out" this weekend and do something. People in the world always seem like they're just having the best time ever, and I so wanted to live on the wild side for once. I envied them so much. So I was kinda wishing I had been more worldly in my pre-Christ days lol...smh

Then, I started getting emotional and feeling weird whenever I thought about August approaching. My brother's about to leave and go off to college. Boo hoo! :'( lol...I knew he was gonna leave eventually, but it just seems so real now. I hope he remembers me, himself, and of course the Lord! lol :)

Then I started thinking about my purpose and destiny, and that led to the usual frustration. Then I thought about all the job applications and interviews I've been on recently, and how there's no new job to show for it. The devil was trying to talk me down, make me feel worthless, and discourage me from continuing to press forward in life.

This whole situation just shows me how I'm still not ready to be found; there is still much preparation to be done. True wholeness is still awaiting to be experienced. There is so much to be seen, heard, and done. If there is no one around to encourage you during hard times, sometimes you just gotta get some strength and encourage yourself.

Life & death: Check your voicemail!

So our last post was 10 days ago. Alot has been going on. Candice and I got the opportunity to go to Campmeeting 2011 for a week in Darrow, Louisiana at Dr. Leroy Thompson Sr.'s ministry. Dr. Thompson is our spiritual father's father. So in other words, he's our spiritual grandpa lol And when I say he's full of wisdom, he is truly full of wisdom.

The holy spirit showed up each and everyday but there was one day in particular that was different. I can't describe the feeling but I remember in my mind thinking, "No one in here can doubt that God is real." I always refer to moments like that as being "thick." His presence was thick and it couldn't have been escaped. I believe it was so strong that even those whose hearts had been closed for however many years, etc., were opened on that day. People were being set free from bondages of all kinds just by being present. I was in awe!

My bishop spoke on Wednesday. And I will say that it definitely gave me a greater respect for him. When you receive such an amazing message week after week, it's important not to become familiar with the gift. And to see how people were responding to him, reminded me of how much of a blessing he really is. Bishop said something that really spoke to me. He said, "Just because you're called doesn't mean you'll get there. But it means to have the potential to get there." That stuck with me. Everybody is called for something but the only ones who see the manifestation are the ones who do it the right way.

Whether you're called to pastor, sing, evangelize, minister in other countries, etc., that doesn't guarantee that you'll get there. If someone calls you for a job interview and the caller always goes to voicemail and you never pick up, eventually you're going to end up getting replaced because the job must get done. It's wonderful to be called but it's important to answer. How many of you have sent God to voicemail or put Him on hold when He has a job waiting for you. Check your voicemail! He's calling YOU for a reason.

Seeds of drive were implanted in me last week. I realized that I control how far I go. Although I already knew that, while I was looking at Dr. Thompson I realized that he was walking in his calling. And suppose he decided not to answer, I wouldn't be able to write about the wisdom and encouragement that I've received from him. Fast forward, 40 years from now. I want someone to be writing about me. And the only way I can become who I'm called to be is to answer God and get Him off HOLD.

Um..I will not entertain it!

Where do I begin? I must say that I truly believe I'm in a vital season of my life. I have very mixed feelings at the moment. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm feeling this way after my bishop spoke about FAITH.

By mixed emotions, I'm referring to the push and pull I feel of having dreams to accomplish and visions God has shown me but wondering how I can get from here to there. Naturally when someone gives us directions, many of us want to know that next few steps after. I've noticed in my life, God hasn't done that. He'll only tell me one thing to do at a time. Once I've done it, He proceeds to the next step. Many times it doesn't make sense. But that's faith, knowing that He'll direct me wherever I'm suppose to go. I guess I have quite a few moments where I have to knock that self-doubt thought out of my mind. It SEEMS impossible at times but God works best with impossible situations.

I have no other desire than to be who God created me to be. But I was in a little FUNK earlier. Of course I know the journey will be worth it in the end but I guess there's a certain pressure that you feel to meet the requirements. All that we go through helps to create us into who we are meant to be. God knows the results of things that break us or hurt us and it must be done to get to where He needs us.

So I guess it's fair to say I woke up feeling discouraged. I dwelled in it for a few moments but then God reminded me that I'm going to campmeeting in Louisiana next week. So I was quickly convinced that I should be expecting great things! That's when the enemy comes at you right? When something good is on the way! So the discouragement turned into great expectation. It's not always easy being me. But one thing I know is that as long as I stay focused on what's important I won't be consumed by negativity.

I have in my mind a portion of where God wants me and at times it feels overwhelming because it seems too far fetched. But who am I to tell God what I'm capable of lol Who I really am is beyond where I am and I must enjoy the process of getting there. I do most days but sometimes I want to skip the lesson and just BECOME but it doesn't work like that.

I won't entertain discouraging feelings. Now I am definitely EXPECTING. I'll probably keep a journal of what I learn and different revelations while I'm at campmeeting. I'm even hungrier than I was before so it's all good! The only one who has a shot at becoming ME, is ME. Step 237840374 on the road to wholeness! lol

Revamp! Revamp! Revamp!

Wherever you are in the world, I just wanna say THANK YOU for reading the Project Wifey blog!!! What do you think of it?? Comment below. I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to read our previous postings from a few months ago. I'm sure you can relate to this journey--whether you are male or female, young or old.

We are about to revamp this blog within the next couple of months, turning it into an actual website. It's just too "Plain Jane" for my taste. I know you're thinking the same lol...Chelsea and I are in the works of finding a website designer, planning the next steps to this blog, and continuing to live our single lives while getting closer to "wifey" status. This is not a journey to find a man and keep him, but it's rather a journey to become ALL that we are meant to be regardless of a man standing by our side.

Stay tuned to...

• Video clips on recipes we'll be cooking up (from the basics on up to the fancy shmancy stuff when we can decorate a dish with parsley and/or fruit lol)

• A weekly "What We're Reading" segment on books that we're entertaining our lives with. REMEMBER==> READERS ARE LEADERS.

• Organizing and cleaning all our spaces (room, closet, bathroom, car)

• A spot where YOU can share what you're doing on the regular to obtain your "wifey" status aka WHOLENESS...this includes the fellas too! (We all need to be whole!!)

• How To's on pretty much anything (changing a tire, checking/changing oil, cleaning an oven, swimming [that's for me, can't swim :-/ ], fishing, managing natural hair, homeownership, planting a garden, etc.

• Segments on our health and weight loss journeys (for those who need it) but we ALL need to get on a more healthier track for life

• Traveling adventures! Having fun! Exploring new and exotic places! Giving back to the community and the world! Encouraging YOU to walk in your divine purpose and know YOURSELF before you try to explain who you think you are to a potential mate or even a new friendship.

• .....AND MORE!!!

YAY! I'm getting excited just writing about what is to come! Prayerfully, the revamping will take place THIS SUMMER. I'm learning to be a person that's not just a "big talker," but a doer. I want to walk the talk out, and go forth in the direction of my dreams!! Don't you? You should!! There's a whole world to see and so many things that you're supposed to have done before you see the man upstairs!! Let's goooooo!

SN: If you're interested in contributing in any sort of way to this project, please hit us up!! Looking for website designers, graphic designers, T-shirt designers, people that know more than us lol...let's help each other out!~~> "There's room for everyone in the Kingdom."