Um..I will not entertain it!

Where do I begin? I must say that I truly believe I'm in a vital season of my life. I have very mixed feelings at the moment. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm feeling this way after my bishop spoke about FAITH.

By mixed emotions, I'm referring to the push and pull I feel of having dreams to accomplish and visions God has shown me but wondering how I can get from here to there. Naturally when someone gives us directions, many of us want to know that next few steps after. I've noticed in my life, God hasn't done that. He'll only tell me one thing to do at a time. Once I've done it, He proceeds to the next step. Many times it doesn't make sense. But that's faith, knowing that He'll direct me wherever I'm suppose to go. I guess I have quite a few moments where I have to knock that self-doubt thought out of my mind. It SEEMS impossible at times but God works best with impossible situations.

I have no other desire than to be who God created me to be. But I was in a little FUNK earlier. Of course I know the journey will be worth it in the end but I guess there's a certain pressure that you feel to meet the requirements. All that we go through helps to create us into who we are meant to be. God knows the results of things that break us or hurt us and it must be done to get to where He needs us.

So I guess it's fair to say I woke up feeling discouraged. I dwelled in it for a few moments but then God reminded me that I'm going to campmeeting in Louisiana next week. So I was quickly convinced that I should be expecting great things! That's when the enemy comes at you right? When something good is on the way! So the discouragement turned into great expectation. It's not always easy being me. But one thing I know is that as long as I stay focused on what's important I won't be consumed by negativity.

I have in my mind a portion of where God wants me and at times it feels overwhelming because it seems too far fetched. But who am I to tell God what I'm capable of lol Who I really am is beyond where I am and I must enjoy the process of getting there. I do most days but sometimes I want to skip the lesson and just BECOME but it doesn't work like that.

I won't entertain discouraging feelings. Now I am definitely EXPECTING. I'll probably keep a journal of what I learn and different revelations while I'm at campmeeting. I'm even hungrier than I was before so it's all good! The only one who has a shot at becoming ME, is ME. Step 237840374 on the road to wholeness! lol