I knew I was going to marry him

One thing I've learned over my 24 years of living is that sometimes while you're IN your current situation, you don't recognize the severity of your situation. Sometimes it takes taking yourself out of that situation for just a moment and asking yourself, "If this wasn't my current circumstance but the circumstance of someone I love, what would it look like to me?"

There are so many things that can blind us of our situations. In reference to relationships, there are reasons why God desires us to save sex until marriage. Not only does He want us to live purely but God knows of the bonds that are created when people engage in sex before marriage. Sex is a representation of "forever" which is why people use the phrase "soul tie." A soul tie will blind you and keep you from walking away from circumstances that are no good for you. And there's also the "yo yo effect" when a soul tie keeps a person going back to a someone who you were never meant to be with in the beginning.

It doesn't always take sex to create a soul tie. I'm sure the majority of people at some point in their lives have allowed their minds to entertain a thought. That thought turned into a paragraph which then turned into a story which then turned into a novel all while reality had yet to even take one step.

I remember when I was in middle school. I'm ashamed to say it but I was a HUGE B2K fan. My friends, cousins, and I would always go to their concerts. We met them a couple of times and it just seemed like the best times of our lives. I was specifically "in love" with Omarion. I knew I was going to marry him. I spent so much time daydreaming about how things would be WHEN we got married, WHEN we had kids, etc. I was completely convinced that we were meant for one another. Clearly, that was crazy. But in my 12 year old mind, I had idolized this person to the point that I thought I KNEW  all about him when I didn't even know him. Needless to say, when he kissed Jennifer Freeman in the "Girlfriends" video, I was heartbroken. (But that's a different post lol)

But that's the exact thing that some people do today as adults. They can't let someone go, whose obviously a red flag because they've allowed their mind to connect the happiness of their future with a person of their present, who God intended to be in their past. I can respect blindness. We've all been blind at some point in our lives. But there also comes a point where we have to see ourselves as the kings and queens that we are.

My challenge to you, no matter how you feel about your current situation, relationship, job, etc,. is to step back a moment and ask yourself, "If this was my sister's, brother's, daughter's, son's, mother's or father's circumstance, how would it look to me? What would I tell them? Would I believe God had better for them? Would I think they were in a mode of compromise?" If you'd be happy for them, praise God for His faithfulness in your life. But if there's anything inside of you that makes you doubt that your current situation would be attractive attached to someone you love, then pray that God will fully open your eyes.

If he doesn't treat you the way you would want your daughter to be treated or if she doesn't treat you the way you would want your son to be treated, you are undervaluing yourself. As I said in a previous post, everyone has potential and the ability to change. But when your happiness is a gamble depended on their "change" you may be setting yourself up to lose.

Your Excuses Are Unexcused Now

We make too many excuses.

Maybe not everyone, but a lot of us do.

Always trying to justify our shortcomings by using the age old phrase: This is just me. This is how I am.

But after awhile, don't YOU get tired of hearing those monotonous thoughts running through your head? Don't YOU ever get to the point where you desire change, where you really want to move forward...past all the excuses holding you back?

This post was actually inspired from getting yelled at by my parents...lol

It's kind of sad, but if you've been following the blog since the early days, I wrote a post on my cleaning habits. Still struggling with that today (shows I haven't changed as much as I'd like). But anyway, I wrote on that previous blog that I hate folding clothes! I don't mind washing and drying everything, but afterwards I just don't wanna mess with them. So, I have a habit of keeping the pile of clean clothes on my bed, and I sometimes just sort through what I want to wear from there...unless it's hanging in my closet.

Then, sometimes (unintentionally) I leave my shoes and miscellaneous papers lying on the floor. I get caught in the daily rush and routine of life that my room and bathroom can just look so horrible, looking crazy that only one person is living in this certain section of the house.

So, of course I constantly get yelled at as to why I can't keep my room clean...why I can't pick up after myself. In the most recent occurrence of scoldings, I attempted to explain to my mom that I just hate folding clothes...that it's just hard for me. That it's just a bad habit. I try to keep my room clean, but once I wash clothes and/or I'm rushing in the mornings getting ready for work or school.....it's over. 

Usually, I'm threatened with "eviction" notices by my parents, claiming that if I don't get my act together, I'll have to find somewhere else to live. Those are always empty words, though...lol...Maybe if they did that for real, I'd be forced to grow up. 

But this time, my mom said some things that stuck out to me. Something along the lines of...stop making excuses of why you act a certain way, learn to change your habits, etc. 

I knew she was right. This had been going on far too long.

And then randomly...when I was getting ready to fall asleep last night, I kept kicking something on the bed. I was annoyed that there was so much stuff on the bed, that it was now on my main sleeping side. Then, a thought popped in my head. This won't work when you're married, because where's he going to sleep? It kinda made me laugh, but it was true. I must tackle these seemingly simple tasks now, because that definitely wouldn't fly in marriage. But....that's another blog, another day.

Maybe you have some things in your life that you're letting yourself slide by with.  Your worst enemy lies within yourself, since you are in control of all your choices (good or bad). Don't hold back from doing what needs to be done today. Going around in constant circles around the same issues isn't doing anyone any good. Someone is waiting on you to GET IT TOGETHER! You have something, small or big, to offer the world. Don't hold your own self back from a better life!

What You Should Be Listening To....

Hey everyone!

I hope you guys are doing great! Sorry for being MIA for months...got a lot going on these days. I just had to share some new (to me) music with you. You have to check this guy out---Christon Gray--and be sure to get his album Even With Evil With Me on Amazon or iTunes.

My brother just told me about him last week, and I think I know every song by heart already! lol...it's just been in heavy rotation, whenever possible. Such a feel good, jazzy, inspirational mix of songs. This is one of my favs...

Are you mature enough?

This is a short snippet by ProphetessTera Carissa. She's AMAZING. I'm in her mentorship program and she always has a Word for me whether directly or indirectly. She definitely is passionate about the Word and she'll start preaching like this any given moment whether on a podium or on the phone. She just says it like it is

I've always hated the saying "train your man." That implies that he's an animal. The truth of the matter is, God is not going to send you someone who needs to be "trained." Are you mature enough to identify your spouse?

Turn by turn

What up peeps?!

I pray you all are doing well. If you read my post on obedience, you know that God placed it on my heart to go out of town for whatever reason. I didn't plan anything. I just played it by ear. I stayed with my cousin who happens to live 5 mins from everything.  I got invited to an event at a church that was in that area so I decided to go by myself. I didn't know anyone really. I had never been there and that was WAY out of my comfort zone. But I remember thinking "Why not?" And I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I did.

Last night after leaving the "Ladies only" night, I cried all the way back to my cousin's house lol The message reminded me of God's desire for ME. I have to go more in depth on it later but the things I heard this week all lined up to the things I had been praying to God about. I would've definitely regretted staying in Va.

I met some really cool people. A couple of people agreed to let me feature them on the blog. I'm excited about that because I know they will have a lot to say especially based off of all that was poured into me this week. I took a great deal of notes and will be sharing them with you very soon.

I said in my previous post that maybe this trip will lead me to find more of God, more of myself, or both. I definitely found more of both. One thing that was confirmed to me is that FEAR will keep you in your comfortable place, physically and spiritually. There's a misconception or what I like to call a straight up lie, that danger lurks in places you aren't familiar with. God will not take you anywhere that His grace won't protect you.

Honestly I got lost every single day. But thank God I had a GPS. Going to a place I knew nothing about made me fully rely on my GPS. I gave all my attention to the directions coming out of that speaker. I still got lost at times but even then, my GPS said "recalculating." And before I knew it I was back on track.

While heading back to my cousin's house one night, I received confirmation and reassurance. I felt the holy spirit say, "I'm your GPS. You will go on paths you know nothing about. I will take you to places you aren't familiar with. But if you fully rely on me, I will get you to your destination. Even if you take a wrong turn, I will recalculate your journey and get you right back on track."

When you already know you're own way, you will never fully rely on your GPS (God). You have to go places you've never gone or do things you've never done to understand how God will give us turn by turn instructions and lead us to our destinations.

Man, I'm so happy I went.  So glad fear of being in an unfamiliar area with unfamiliar people didn't keep me from going.  I hope you guys keep that in mind the next time God places it on your heart to do something you're not fully comfortable with doing. Don't let fear tell you to "Stay put." FEAR will say that the unfamiliar equals danger. But I know from experience that the unfamiliar equals growth and maturity. #Nofear

Praise God for my GPS! I'm soooooo glad I went! I've learned a lot this week about my strengths AND my weaknesses.  I told my roommate I was feeling led to take a little vaca and she was like "Do it!" Either she was trying to get me out of the house lol or she knew it was a good idea. I'll go with the latter. Stay tuned for details! :-)

And in case you didn't know, I'm sooooooo happy I went! lol Until next time..

Inspiration

This is just so amazing to me! It's a unique form of worship, and I just love it! I wish more and more people (myself included) would just step OUT the box and totally be who God has called them to be. My constant prayer is that we would each use our gifts and talents to bring glory to God---using them in the way that only WE are designed to do so. There are just too many people trying to be carbon copies of others. There is only one YOU, and no one else can do what YOU do like YOU. Seek your own destiny out, and God will provide and make it prosperous.

Enjoy!

Just be obedient

Can anyone agree with me when I say obedience can sometimes be hard? I think alot of people try to make God conventional. But God is soooo unconventional. God always sees the bigger picture. Last Wednesday at church, Dr. Bradley was speaking on obedience. I love when a pastor is all is your business lol The Word can cut you for sure. But it's the sharp Word that shapes you into who you're meant to be.

He went on to say he once was offered a job making a whole bunch of money. So he was going to accept it. He had never made that kind of money in his life. He spoke with his pastor at the time and his pastor told him to pray. He had his mind set on it already but after prayer, God told him not to take the job. He had the choice to be disobedient but he chose to listen to God and a few months later the company folded. #Bummer

He said once he decided not to take the job, people were calling him crazy. They couldn't understand why he would walk away from such an amazing opportunity. It's important to hear God's voice for yourself. Those people would've messed him up had he listened to them. But that story is evidence that God can see the things that we so often can't see. Even when it doesn't make sense, God's instructions are there to guide us to our ultimate place in Him. He had no idea that God has called him to pastor at that point. If he had gone along with what he wanted or what "made sense" to others, he would've jeopardized the future of himself, his wife, his kids, and the growing congregation that God was leading him to.

One thing I've experienced in my own life is that disobedience can cause God to be silent. And that's honestly one of the worst feelings. "God tell me what to do. Tell me what to do." And we don't realize that God has already spoken. He's just waiting on us to be obedient. I can say, that there is true freedom in our obedience. I've been experiencing a freshness with God, a new freedom that I've been waiting for for quite some time.

Growth is produced out of obedience. Once we're obedient to the small instructions, God can begin to reveal to us the bigger instructions. I pray God is pleased with my many leaps of faith recently. I've been feeling a pull to go visit a certain area for a while now. I've been talking about it for months. Recently I got this urge to pack up and just go. It was very weird and pretty abnormal. But all I said was "um..I don't know about this..But God is this you?" lol

I believe God has something for me on this mini vaca I'm about to take. I have a cousin and a couple friends that have moved to that area who I will probably visit for a bit but I feel like this trip is for ME. It's a whole new level of independence as I've never traveled alone. But if these last couple of months are an indicator of what God is going to show me, I'm excited! I do believe there is definitely something I'm going to find. Maybe more of God, maybe more of myself, maybe both. Whatever it is, obedience is taking me to it!

Late Night / Early AM Encouragement

It's been a few days since that shooting incident in Colorado, and I'm still in shock! Watching the footage on TV just made my heart ache for the victims and their families. And it became even more disheartening when I read about the deceased victims on cnn.com. It hit me...that could have easily been me! Seriously. I go to the movies all the time, and that latest Batman movie was on my list of movies to catch this summer.

It always baffles me when things like this happen. Columbine. 9/11. Virginia Tech. And now this random shooting in Aurora, Colorado. I don't understand what goes through these people's minds when they seek out and plan to take innocent lives. Like, why? I just don't get it, and it's so sad.

In recent years, I've heard from several people (ministers and the like) that the state of the world is gonna continue to worsen. To be honest, I just don't want to believe that. But I do know certain things must take place on Earth before Jesus returns. We just need to stay prayed up and armed with the fruits of the spirit.

Obviously, it's the enemy (devil) that is working through these folks, coercing them to do these evil acts.

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I [Jesus] came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, til it overflows)." John 10:10 (AMP)


The enemy speaks to all of us in some form or another; it is up to us whether we listen and take action or not. It's easy to believe his lies are the actual truth, when you're not spiritually mature.

There were many, many, MANY days when I dealt with depression and its complementary thoughts. I didn't want to cause physical harm to others, only myself. However, had I listened and acted on those evil thoughts, I would have brought unnecessary pain and anguish to my family members and other loved ones. It would've been very selfish of me.

Whether we believe it or not, we are all connected. We were never meant to go through anything alone.  Someone somewhere cares about YOU! Someone (other than Jesus, God, and the heavenly beings) loves you! Someone is mentioning you in their prayers.

Life is not as bad as it seems. There is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is joy at the end of the struggle, if you only push through. Just keep on living. Things will get better! I am a witness to that fact! Believe it for yourself.

Be encouraged and uplift others! 

Prayer Works!

The title of this post says it all! Prayer truly does work. Prayer has the power to change things. God has placed it on my heart to include a prayer request form on the website. I truly have a heart to pray and I desire to stand in agreement with you about whatever you're believing God for. I put a tab at the top of the site or you can just click here and it will take you directly to the form. If you desire someone to seek God on your behalf, please don't hesitate to send your requests. No matter what it is, God has the power to change it. Prayer works!

Do I really want kids?

I'm sure most people have contemplated the thought of having children. I was never on the fence about it. Even as a kid, I was convinced I wanted a house full of kids. But the older I get, the more I realize what it really takes to be a parent. I have the most adorable nieces and nephews. I just love them. It's nothing like going to my sis' house and walking in and they yell, "Che Che!!!" (Their lil nickname for me.) But they are a handful.

My sister and her husband have a blended family. All together they have six, yes SIX. One is 4 months, one is 3 and the others are 5,6, and two are 7. Yea crazy. I usually visit them once or twice and week and at any given visit, you may find me laid out across someone's bed getting in a power nap cause they can be pretty exhausting.

I'll never forget, a few weeks after my sister had the littlest one, baby Ashlee, she left me at her place with her and the 3 year old JoJo, while she ran errands. I went in the room for 2 minutes to change the baby's diaper and then I heard the microwave close in the kitchen. JoJo walks in the room and said, "CheChe I'm cooking." I run in the kitchen thinking he's warming up his toy in the microwave or something but thank God nothing was in there lol I have so much respect for them to be able to parent their own little brady bunch and remain sane.

I've always loved kids and kids love me too. Sometimes random kids will run up to me and hug my leg or something and I just think it's the cutest thing. Little kids are very cute. But when I would think about my own kids, I often envision all my children coming home with their families for Christmas and Thanksgiving and not necessarily the YEARS that lead up to that portion of life.

Raising kids require two very important things  patience and selflessness. And I definitely believe it's on a whole different level than relationships and marriage. Children require alot and the younger they are, the more impatient they are. Kids don't really take into consideration your schedule, what you're in need of, how you're feeling, etc., they want what they want when they want it.

And like I said, I love them but they can pluck a nerve sometimes (lol) but the good thing about being an auntie is I can leave and go home to peace and quiet when the atmosphere gets a little hectic and crazy. When they're yours, they're YOURS. I've been wrestling with this nasty head cold for about four days now. As of right now I'm only in school so I don't have to worry about calling out of work and I can focus on resting up. But I started imagining if I had children. Parenting wouldn't stop if I got sick or wasn't feeling well. I can't imagine feeling the way I'm feeling right now and having my nieces and nephews over..OMG..

So I do find myself questioning "Do I really want kids?" And honestly I don't really know the answer right now. But thank God I have plenty of time to think about it. I used to say I wanted to be married by 23 and have my first child by 25. (Clearly I was a teenager or younger then.) I guess we will see what happens in due time! :-)