Don't Be So Available

Remember when I had that vent awhile back over my mom? lol (sorry again mother haha)...Well, I forgot to write on what I had planned to be writing on....


I remember when I was trying to get over the break-up of my ex, and my mom was the main one I cried to and confided in. She gave me SOO much advice to help me get over that, and I still have a notebook slightly filled with all those motivational nuggets. One thing that ALWAYS sticks out to me is when she told me, "Don't be so available."


I'm gonna try not to go into too much detail, since the whole ordeal with my ex is a very tiring subject. We've been broken up since 2008; but somehow on every holiday or special event throughout the year, we end up talking to each other via text and then phone and usually meeting somewhere to catch up. He's usually the one that instigates the random texts. If it's my birthday, he'll wish me a good one and a conversation comes out of that. Mainly, it's just Christmas, New Year's, and my Bday.


We'll go months without talking, and if it's not a holiday...that's when the random convos begin---> "Let me ask you a question. If we ever got back together, do you think it would work?" or "Hey, I just wanted to check to see how you were doing." etc...


These talking moments usually last a couple or days or so, because he wants to be my friend. I argue that we can't. (I mean, this dude cheated on me and until this year, he was still with that same girl. Be your friend? Umm, where they do that at?) So, we argue the same arguments since 2008. Like, it's the same conversations...same words--EVERYTHING.


Last encounter--yesterday. lol. So, here it is June 6, 2011. I'm NOT going to be available to him anymore. You all are my witnesses. haha


By texting him back and answering the phone all those random times, I was almost being used like a puppet. I probably appeared to him to be "the one that will always be there, will never leave." Welp, no more! I'm tired of it! The only solution I can think of is to just ignore him. You're probably thinking, duh! Move on! Change your number!


I don't feel like changing my number and going through all of that...lol. It's bad enough that we both have memorized one another's numbers, soo there's a lesson for ya. Don't memorize your significant other's number!! (at least until you get married lol) When you don't know it, it won't be so easy to contact "old faithful."


Even if you're dating right now, don't be so available. You don't have to put everything down and stop what you're doing every time they call. Remember, you need a life OUTSIDE of your mate, and sometimes from your regular group of friends too. People don't have to know all of your whereabouts. They're not your spouse, so you don't have to answer to them right now. Technically, you're still "single" but don't be a player either. Be a mystery, and keep all of them guessing on your next move.