You're not free if you're quiet..uh..

What's the definition of freedom? Sweeet! Glad you asked. Freedom is the power to determine action without restraint. If I understand correctly, determine means to decide. Restraint means to keep someone or something under control. (Stay with me here.) So if all that's true, that means freedom is having the power to decide what action you will make on your own without being under control by someone else. That's a long definition but I wanted to break it down a little.

I think every person should aim to have freedom, especially in the way they worship God. I remember being younger and being the "church girl." And there were times in church where I wanted to raise my hand but I didn't because everyone's eyes were going to be on me. (Or so I thought. When really, those who were really in worship weren't paying any attention to me.) And for a long time I thought that if you don't jump up and down or yell to the top of your lungs, than you must not be FREE. But as I said, freedom is not allowing someone to control your actions and accepting who you are!

Words that describe peaceful include calm, still, quiet, gentle, pleasant, soothing, tranquil, placid, and restful. I've had a few outbursts in church but only when I feel led. I don't yell to be heard or to prove that I'm free, but the few times I've done it, it just kind of came out. I don't try to control it but neither do I try to force it.

Some have their hands raised, some jump, some run, some scream, etc. I'm a crier. I will boo hoo all through praise and worship, even sometimes during the service and I'm fine with that. If the tears come, let them flow. But at one point I was wondering, am I not praising God freely because I'm calmer or quieter than some people? I didn't know for a while but then one day in my quiet time, I felt led to look up the definition of freedom. And then I started to ask myself, if I were screaming and running, would I be doing it to praise God or be controlled by what I thought freedom was? Would I be doing it because I thought that's what I was suppose to do?

Nothing at all is wrong with taking laps or crying out to God no matter how loud or quiet your voice is. The only time something is wrong with it is if it's not YOUR praise. If your whole reason of doing it is to prove something, then that means YOU'RE not free. And I realized that my outward praise is not me running and jumping, my heart speaks much louder and does much more than anyone can ever see. Not because I don't praise Him freely but because that's just not MY praise.

I've always been quiet. And when I was younger, I thought it was a bad thing but I've realized that I'm suppose to be quiet and peaceful. That's the way I was created. There's a woman at church who I admire a lot. She's very quiet but also incredibly anointed. I've rarely heard her raise her voice and one day during church she was sitting in front of me and I watched what she did during service. When the holy spirit moved, she closed her eyes, lowered her head and just seemed to rest. That spoke to me a lot because that's often what I do. I can't seem to be "hype" and it's because I'm not suppose to be! And I'm glad I have an understanding of that now. Praise and worship is between you and God.

"Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

If one person's praise is to take a lap and the others person praise is to cry, God sees the genuineness in their hearts, not in their action. If I were still in the mindset that I'm not free unless I do this or that, then I would still be in bondage.

I believe God has called me to be a mother figure to an undisclosed amount of His "children" at some point in my life. I think because of that fact, a broken "child" wants peace and rest. And they'll want to feel calm. People who are gifted in the areas of deliverance and warfare are much more aggressive because that's how God needs them to be because that's exactly what it is, war.

So I say all that, mostly to vent but to also say that the beauty about the body of Christ is that it consists of many different gifts, callings, and forms of praise. I was inspired to write this because a friend of mine randomly sent this email today,

"I was thinking about what it means to have the peace of God and you popped into my mind. There's something special about a spirit that can be calm no matter the circumstance. That's a beautiful quality in a helpmate, to be at peace when all around seems to be in chaos. To be quiet when all the world is loud. To not take for granted your words but to use them when they are most needed and to flow out of such a rare anointing. Your calling is high which makes HIS calling even higher. He'll need a spirit of peace to cover him during warfare and to care for his children, to know when to step back and quietly assist and when to step forward. When a quiet person speaks, everyone listens. When a peaceful person appears, the environment is calm. Inside of calm flesh rests a strong spirit. All the world can be loud but it takes strength to be quiet and at peace. God did right, just for HIM! Continue to be you. Love you!"

I didn't paste the whole thing cause it got a little deep lol! but that's extremely encouraging!!! My bishop has been talking about having the peace of God so it was right on time!

God deserves ALL praise because He's done sooo much but make sure it's YOUR praise. There's no freedom in trying to be like everyone else. (But if I feel LED to jump, I will lol)