I'm responsible!

So the last couple of days have been very eye opening for me. I have a lot of younger cousins. It seems as though my family have their own seasons of baby booms every ten years. I was the youngest grand daughter for 12 years. I was always referred to as the baby, little Chellie, pookie, all the other names I could ever be called. I remember the day vividly while at my grandma's house.

*Ring Ring*
Grandma: Hello
Aunt: Hey ma guess what?
Grandma: What?
Aunt: I'm pregnant and it's a girl!!!

Nine months later, the world was introduced to my little cousin. She was the new baby. I won't say I was jealous of her or mad she took my shine but she was interesting to me. I would play with her a little. I would hold her until she cried. Then I'd give her back lol I didn't really understand the significance of our bond then. But I remember as she got older how excited she would be when she was going to see me. But as a teenager I was just like "this little girl always follows me around."

Now at 12 years old she's always blowing up my phone asking when I'm coming to visit. She'll call and call, Leave voicemail after voicemail, wanting "Che Che" to visit. Well yesterday I went to Richmond to pick her up so she could stay the night at my house and so we could hang out a little too. She's been asking for a while but I hadn't really had a chance to do so. Upon her arrival, she followed me around the house. She sat as close to me on the couch as she could even though there are two full couches in the family room that we both could've easily stretched out on. She called my name every 5 seconds. (And as I write this she just called me and now she's telling me she's  bored lol)

For most people these things could be annoying and I must admit, they annoy me at times too. But as I started thinking about it, I was like wow she really looks up to me. She doesn't care what I'm doing. As long as "Che Che" is doing it then she's down for it. We made tacos, baked cookies and cooked breakfast the next morning. We even cleaned up the house and she went running with me. She was so excited to do it just because I was doing it. That's pretty flattering.

One thing that spoke to me more than anything was when I told her I was about to go read the Bible and pray. And then she asked if she could do it too. So I gave her one of my bibles and we listened to worship music, prayed and read the Word. As I read through my Study Bible I asked her if she knew what certain verses meant and we discussed them and elaborated. I asked her if she had any questions and she started to ask me about heaven and angels. I talked to her about living purely and when you live a pure lifestyle you're closest to God. The best thing ever was as I was kneeling meditating and listening to a worship song, I looked over and saw that she had kneeled beside me. Talk about a tear jerker!

I realized the influence I actually have on her. And not just her, but every other person in my life young or old. Whoever is watching me, is being influenced by me in so many ways. God has me in a position that I can pour into her and encourage her to go in a positive direction. In all humilty, I believe I'm a pretty decent role model. I'm moving in the right direction and I realize everything I'm doing is being watched, so I have to keep moving forward to provoke all those around me to do the same.

You're more than just a big cousin, sister, brother, aunt, or uncle. You are assisting the potter (God) with molding His clay. I want to look back and say she witnessed me walk a positive path. I don't want her to regret that she wanted to be just like me when she gets older. I want her to believe that "wanting to be like Che Che" kept her out of trouble and made her desire to be better and seek God more than anything else. It can be alot of pressure but after our conversations about boys, crushes, girl talk in general and God, I realized that she really values my opinion. She asked me about my experiences with certain things and how I forgave this person and that person. And I talked with her about the importance of walking in love and being pure at heart. Very productive two days.

I can't say certain things that she does will never irritate me again. Or that I won't get frustrated when she's acting her age and asking silly questions or doing silly things. But I can remember that I'm her role model just as we all are to many. (Whether we realize it or not.) And my decisions can effect her in the same way they effect me. I'm going to be a living example to her and everyone that God places in my life, that you can be IN the world but not OF the world. Not conformed but renewed. A true disciple of Christ. And by her being around, I'm responsible for the things she sees in me, good or bad.