"I am not my hair" Are you sure?

So I've been wanting to talk about this for a while! And today I experienced something that really set me off lol (BTW I've been completely natural for a little over a year now and this is just my opinion!)

I was in line at Target and overheard a group of females. Three of them had natural hair and one of them was relaxed. One of the natural girls told the one with relaxed hair that she NEEDS to go natural and then asked "What are you scared of? Are you ashamed of your natural hair?" *Pause*

That conversation bothered me so much! And I've heard those types of comments so often. Some are similiar and some are vice versa but that has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.


Two weeks ago, I was at my cousin's house. She's been natural for four years and has hair down her back. Us natural ladies would call it BSL or Bra Strap Length. Her hair is very beautiful but she CHOOSES to wear sew-ins. One of my other cousins was also there and she said "I don't know why she wears all that weave. Wear your hair out!"


*Pause again* Ugh! Leave her alone!


I never understand why some women feel the need to tell others what they NEED to do with their own hair. People choose to wear their hair in whatever way works for them. I've heard people say that women who get relaxers, keep their hair long, wear weave, etc are insecure. Really?? And I'm not targeting just women who are natural by any means. I've heard it from many different people. So what does "I am not my hair mean?"

To me, that phrase means that no matter how a person CHOOSES to wear THEIR hair, they are not "titled" by their hair. Some people prefer short hair, others natural, others long and relaxed, some with weave, others with purple pink or orange, what does it matter??? If a woman with natural hair chooses to flat iron her hair every week of the year except one, then that's her choice. I understand people talk about the importance of healthy hair. But if a woman wants to do a process on her hair that you wouldn't do on yours, the beautiful part is, you don't have to! lol If you truly believe that phrase then the label of insecure or ashamed wouldn't be thought of because of the way a woman wears her hair. Its her hair, therefore her choice!

I know a few fierce females who will wear their hair in a short cut one day, long wavy weave the next, braids the next, and a fade after that. And that's what works for them. Now I'm not at all against educating each other about how to take care of our hair whether natural or relaxed. But the great thing about being grown is that YOU can make the best decision for YOU.

People know how they like to look and I'm not against encouraging people to love themselves but loving ourselves goes much further than how we choose to wear our hair. I've never been against relaxers. I was relaxed for YEARS but chose to go natural for the health of MY hair. Some people are relaxed because that's what works for them like that young lady in Target. Some dye their hair because they WANT some color. Some wear sew ins like my cousin because it protects their hair and helps it grow. Let people do what they want to do!

I'm very much against conforming and I feel that many times people try to make others conform to what THEY find acceptable. Some people think relaxed and weave is insecure, some people think natural and kinky is unattractive. But what people don't realize is that by forcing their views on someone else (go natural, get a relaxer, cut it, grow it) about how they should wear their hair or whatever else, they're assisting society with bringing more division amongst black women. If we really are not our hair, why does it matter how it's worn?? Let people express themselves whichever way they want!

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. There's a big difference between encouragement and FORCING your views. Back off of people and let them do what's best for them! *end rant*