It's not for the weak at heart!

Whew! I'm learning that it's not up to me to convince or prove to anyone of who I am. I think alot of times we want the confirmation and/or the acceptance from others. As I've stated in previous posts, I don't hang with a lot of people. Even less now than before and I must admit, sometimes it's not the best feeling.

I remember my phone would be going off all day. Phone calls and text messages would be cascading my phone from morning to night. Every day of every weekend I was out and about with this group or that group doing whatever, only to go to sleep, wake up, and be out again. But more recently my desires have been to stay in, read, grow, think, learn....

It's a bittersweet feeling. I got on Facebook a few minutes ago and got a little down :-/ A social networking site is wonderful to keep track of friends and family that you wouldn't necessarily have much contact with otherwise. But I started questioning why I'm still in this season of seclusion. I definitely know I'm changing for the better but I still have my moments like, what's going on???

I got a text a few days ago from someone who I talk with occassionally. She's a wonderful woman of God and definitely someone who I believe is genuine. She randomly texted me because I was on her mind and she wanted to check up. Now that may seem like a small gesture but it meant ALOT. Because in my mind on that particular day I had been fighting self-pity, wondering why I felt that so much has been required of me this past year and a half.

Solitude is a beautiful thing most days but I was feeling the absence of people who I had grown accustomed to relying on. It's always nice to get a boost of encouragement and an on-time reminder that you're thought of even when you don't feel like you are! Praise God for using Taryn all the way in Alabama to remind me that God will put me on the hearts of people when it's most needed.

PREPARATION COMES WITH A COST. And solitude is the process.

But I know that when God has called you into seclusion for whatever reason, you shouldn't question it. You just have to know it's for the best and it lines up to what He wants and needs of you. Someone recently told me that when you TRY to remain friends with someone and it's only one sided then that season is over. I hate saying it, but that statement removed so many people! And I MUST be okay with it. GOD IS GETTING ME READY FOR SOMETHING! And if I've learned anything, I've learned that discouragement often comes right before the blessing. So I don't dwell in it or even entertain it most days, but it's been in the way lately!

So I can't be DOWN with everybody and that's okay because I'm being obedient and allowing God to work in me whatever it is that He's planning to do. Whew! This process I tell you...It's not my job to prove anything to anyone. My bishop said a few days ago  that if you're going to do God's work, then you won't have alot of friends. I concur...
I will say, that although Candice and I have fun and act silly at times with Project Wifey, this journey is REAL. God must remove anything from your life that you rely on more than Him. I'm feeling the growning pains of this detox but I know purification is to follow and I will never be the same. Praise God!

Sn: The further into seclusion God takes me, the deeper my Man of God has to go to find me. It's not a journey for the weak at heart lol (Just wanted to throw that out there) Grateful that God loves me enough to "hide" me so He can mold me into the person I REALLY am.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17 (Message version) Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!