So I just got off the phone with a friend of mine. Her phone accidentally called me and we laughed about the randomness of that happening. But we took the opportunity to chat a little. Eventually the convo went to venting. (Now before any of you think I'm putting her out, I did talk to her about writing this as long as I keep specifics of what we talked about and her name to myself lol) But it was interesting.
People have always vented to me. I'm quite private and I guess that's something people can see so they figure if I don't tell MY business, I won't tell theirs. And I can say that I can agree with that. I'm very much against telling other people's business. I'll generously point you in their direction if you have questions about their lives lol I don't have a big mouth and I guess that's why people trust me with so much. Anyway...
She was just talking about her relationship. At first I'm like "why is she telling me all this???" I didn't mind being a listening ear but her level of transparency kind of caught me off guard. But one thing that dawned on me during that convo is RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORK!
Now I already knew that but the more I talk to people who are in a relationship, the more I realize that so much has to go into it. Relationships in general are hard but Christian relationships clearly are harder. I was just sitting there like MAN! This sounds like a full time job. God ordained relationships are wonderful but it reconfirmed why wholeness is so important.
As I listened to her talk about different areas of her relationship, the good, the bad, the misunderstood and gray areas, I started thinking that maybe it was meant to educate me. Although we looked at the phone call as accidental, I really believe it was to show the realistic point of view of a relationship. Everybody wants to have butterflies and see fireworks etc. but until you realize that it takes sacrifice, patience, love, understanding, kindness, amongst many other things to have a successful relationship, you don't need to be in one! Point blank period. Clearly it's work.
Christian relationships are about growing together with God, pushing one another, encouraging each other, holding one another accountable, being honest, etc. She even began telling me the pressure of being next to a man of God with all eyes on you and making sure that as a woman, you're not left behind and vice versa. Wow. So it's not about long walks on the beach, holding hands in the park and googly eyes from across the room???? Oh! So that's why it takes preparation. It's about growth! Duh lol
So I was brought back to reality. I've been hearing about a lot of relationship stuff lately and so many times I'm like ugh! I don't wanna talk about it! lmbo I guess part of me wanted to keep my fairy tale way of thinking and although there are fairy tale moments, that's not what it's about. The whole convo I was like "What?? Why?? How?? He said what?? Huh??" I'm just learning so much! And the funny thing is the wisdom is coming to ME. I haven't once gone out with the intent of asking anyone about their relationship. I guess there are certain things I need to know. So I'll soak all these recent convos in and keep them in mind. Relationships are not fairy tales and you have to put in the effort. Gosh it's really no joke...lol